Not to tell my friend that her DP is on a dating site?

[LobsterQuadrille]

I'm on POF. Last night, I received a message from the long term partner of a reasonably close friend of mine. I know that they've had issues in the past but I met her last week and she gave every impression that they were fine - they bought a holiday home together last year, FB says that he brought her breakfast in bed yesterday morning and spent the day on the beach (that's actually the only indication that things might be wrong - the FB posts saying "we're fine").

His POF profile said that he was "separated". Incidentally I have never met him, but have seen enough photos of him to know 100% that it was him. I replied "Hi (real name), I'm a good friend of A's and I hope that all is OK with the two of you" or something like that. The next thing I know, the messages plus his profile have disappeared (I googled and it's possible to do this if you a) block the person and then b) delete your profile).

I'm thinking that I shouldn't interfere, that there may be stuff going on that I don't know about, that he may have "just been looking". This is more of a WWYD - I suppose that I would want to know but I can't bring myself to tell her and have actually cancelled coffee with her tomorrow in case her conversation is all about him and how happy they are .....

Actually there's an easier way; tell him that he's got to tell her by such-and-such a date, and that if he doesn't do it, you will

He'll probably invent a story about how you saw him somewhere and got the wrong end of the stick, but if she's got any sense she'll then ask for your version - which gives you the "in" you need, hopefully without ruffling too many feathers

Can anyone else search for him for screenshots? Just tell him - you tell her, or I have screenshots and will. That way, you won't get shot for telling her. But she does need to know.

I've got no email notification since POF helpfully informed me some time ago that my email account doesn't exist (it does). And I don't know this man personally - I'm not friends with him on FB and have no way of contacting him - she and I are friends as our DC were at primary school together a long time ago - when she was married to someone who was also a bit of a tosser. And I've tried to search him via a "dummy" POF account, to no avail. Thank you for all suggestions though - I really wanted a general "am I being a complete coward?" reaction and I suppose that I am.

This is always very tricky.

Because for you tell her and she stays with him it's likey your friendship will not last

This happed with my two sisters

Sister 1 husband made a pass at sister 2 sister one didn't belive sister 2 and was told by her do it was actually sister 2 that made a pass at him

She's still with dp and now sister 2 is pretty much banned from the house branded as a trouble maker newphews think she's liar

I would send her the link to his profile anonymously or a screen shot of it if she gets rid then confess if she stays with him then she's not borthered

Best case scenario - she wanted to meet up to tell you they've split for good. If you avoid seeing her you won't know.

I've just checked her FB page (not because I am a stalker) and he has written a comment underneath her last post about loving her (this was yesterday evening). So Smurfnoff sadly not - I see her pretty regularly and yes, I will bring this up - as I had zero proof anyway, the timing won't matter and I think it's very unlikely indeed that he will mention anything to do with it.