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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving a baby

63 replies

couldntlovethebearmore · 28/07/2016 22:13

Sorry but keeping with the theme in general...a baby asleep in its cot- leave it alone alseep with nearly twelve year old sibling or not?

OP posts:
LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF · 28/07/2016 22:50

Please be genuine! Cannot handle another 'left baby' thread tonight!

ThoraGruntwhistle · 28/07/2016 22:50

I'd do it (if the baby was asleep) to go to the shop nearest me, which would take around five mins to go there, buy whatever it is and come back. Any longer than that and I don't think I would.

CraftyPenguin · 28/07/2016 22:51

No! Seriously what is with all these threads today about leaving children home alone or in cars?

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 28/07/2016 23:00

Depends on the 12 year old. Most of them, perfectly fine. Some I'd leave the baby 'in charge' 😁 My friend has done this since her DD was 10, but she really is a very able & willing 'mini mum'. Well she was when he was a baby, he's an annoying 3 year old now and she's less keen to mind him 😁

georgetteheyersbonnet · 28/07/2016 23:00

With a sensible 12-year old, and 10 mins to shop and back in total, mobile phone on and at the ready, I'd think it was OK. Depends if the baby often wakes I suppose.

PersianCatLady · 28/07/2016 23:01

With a sensible 12-year old, and 10 mins to shop and back in total, mobile phone on and at the ready, I'd think it was OK
Without being over dramatic, what if something happens to OP while she is out?

EverySongbirdSays · 28/07/2016 23:07

My 2p worth here is :

That if you're questioning whether this is right, or your 11 year old will cope (almost 12 is 11) and asking strangers, then the answer is no, it's not right, because if you were confident that this was ok and that your child could cope you'd already be back from the shop and you wouldn't care what we thought, because you know your kids.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 28/07/2016 23:08

Then that would be a tragedy for the op persian but eventually a media-savvy 12 yo is going to notice her mum hasn't come back and phone her dad/nan/ndn and get some help.

MiddleClassProblem · 28/07/2016 23:11

How old is the baby? (Not sure it makes a difference)

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 28/07/2016 23:12

Is ur urgent? Are you friendly with neighbours? Could you ask them to keep an ear out n let daughter know?

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 28/07/2016 23:12

*it

datingbarb · 28/07/2016 23:15

Shop fine, I sometimes have to pop to little shop of a evening and leave dd just 13 in charge her baby sister 22 months is fast asleep, I'm gone no more than 10 minutes.

When I do actually go out for a evening and have a sitter it's actually my 13 year old who puts the baby to bed/settles her and not the sitter, she is very very good with her younger sister

Baby dd is just as likely to go to her big sister for comfort as she would for me

datingbarb · 28/07/2016 23:16

Oh also have very very good neighbours on both sides

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 28/07/2016 23:16

TWELEVE for 10 minutes. FGS. What is going on with people that this is even an issue of debate? Do some parenting so your kids can actually bloody cope with life.

PersianCatLady · 28/07/2016 23:18

is going to notice her mum hasn't come back and phone her dad/nan/ndn and get some help.
Of course but does a 12 year old who is looking after a baby really need that sort of worry just over a late night shop run.

Original poster
couldntlovethebearmore · 28/07/2016 23:19

Lorelei what are you on about? I've already said this hasn't happened but I was talking with someone who thought it would have been acceptable

OP posts:
FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 23:20

Without being over dramatic, what if something happens to OP while she is out?

Then the 12 year old is well able to get help, and the baby is much better off at home asleep. The something that happened to the OP wouldn't be too good for the baby if she'd taken it, would it (hit by a car, mugged, whatever)?

Vixxfacee · 28/07/2016 23:21

I used to baby sit when was 11. I was regularly in charge of a baby, 3 and 4 year old.
To answer your question I wouldn't.

PersianCatLady · 28/07/2016 23:23

The something that happened to the OP wouldn't be too good for the baby if she'd taken it, would it (hit by a car, mugged, whatever)?

As stated above does a 12 year old who is looking after a baby really need that sort of worry just over a late night shop run?

What is so important that it can't wait until tomorrow?

fakenamefornow · 28/07/2016 23:24

No of course it's not ok. What if the 12yo managed to open the front door and wandered off.

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2016 23:24

If any parent doesn't know their own child well enough to have to ask the internet, then no they definitely shouldn't.

I absolutely would pop to the shop under those circumstances.

Others wouldn't.

BrickInTheWall · 28/07/2016 23:27

I cant believe some of these responses! An 11 year old that will presumably be going to secondary school after the summer cant be left for 15 mins with a sleeping baby?! WTF?!
My eldest DD is 10 and baby DD is 4 months.. she often looks after her for me for 20mins while I have a shower or cook dinner without any input from me. She is more than capable of picking her up and walking her about or rocking her if she gets upset.
I would leave my DD with the baby to pop to the shop.. she knows how to use the phone if anything would happen.. but honestly cant imagine what she couldnt cope with for 15mins!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/07/2016 23:28

If the baby is settled and the 12 year old is sensible, enough to see to the baby if need be. Then yes. However only for a very short time. Say to go to the shop. However a night out is a no no. Well not with a 12 year old babt sitter.

honeylulu · 28/07/2016 23:29

I live on a main road so have to park in a side street. I often have to bring toddler in get 11 year old to mind her few minutes while I dash back to car and lug shopping from.boot. can take a few minutes. Have never given it much thought. hmmmm

Mrsantithetic · 28/07/2016 23:30

I would. I'm a bit shocked at the amount of people aghast.

Depends on the children of course but generally speaking I would expect a 12 year old to be able to cope for 20 minutes.