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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go on the sick?

63 replies

cherrypepsimax · 28/07/2016 16:37

I have to admit I am stressed.

I pride myself on coping and being able to get the job done. However, I have spent about 2 weeks now still not being able to clear all my e-mails and do the most simple of tasks, because I just can not concentrate for more than 2 minutes. Having googled 'signs of stress' I have over half of them :-(

I run my own business, as well as working part time for an employer, plus general family life. I LOVE my business but I also wanted the security of a guaranteed income. DH is a great support in terms of workload at home, but he can not help with the business because he does not have the skills.

If I was not working 25 hours at week at a part time job I would not be stressed. I would be able to dedicated myself to the business and in all honesty do a better job at promoting it etc. We have decided that I will leave my part time job. I really like the team I work with, but I really am trying to do too much, most weeks I work 50-60 hours.

So AIBU to hand in my notice and then go off sick with stress? I know it could affect my future employment opportunities, I am obviously hoping I will not need to apply for another job because I have my own business.

I feel bad because colleagues have time booked off work over the summer, and if I am not there it will be affecting the workload of the colleagues that are there. I have no holiday to take, because I have taken so much time off to attend events with my business.

Should I just muddle through for another 4 weeks? Or should I stop worrying about my colleagues and put myself first?

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2016 16:40

I think it would be cheeky to go off sick during your notice period and then work on your own business yes, sorry.

elodie2000 · 28/07/2016 16:41

What is your notice period?
2 weeks? More?

Original poster

cherrypepsimax · 28/07/2016 16:42

4 weeks

OP posts:

witsender · 28/07/2016 16:43

Just hand your notice in, grit your teeth and it'll soon be done.

Atinybittiredandsad · 28/07/2016 16:44

Grit your teeth and don't burn your boats.

WordGetsAround · 28/07/2016 16:45

Going on 'the sick' is not an alternative to managing your own time / lifestyle in a more sustainable way. I'm not sure if you meant it, but your OP reads as though you take responsibility for your stress though work choices you've made. If so, change them by making different choices (handing in your notice), and don't expect others to suffer the consequences of your decisions.

Emochild · 28/07/2016 16:45

You may well find if you are signed off you are in breach of contract by working for your own company

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 28/07/2016 16:47

Hand in your notice and only work the hours you are contracted for.

manicinsomniac · 28/07/2016 16:50

I wouldn't. As you say, it could look bad in the future and it isn't fair on your colleagues. Surely for a part time job your notice period isn't all that long? And you can perhaps get away with doing a sub optimal job more easily than if you were staying (I know that sounds bad, I just mean that if you're stressed and struggling to concentrate you can maybe just 'get by and look busy' rather than stop working altogether)

There's no guarantee that you won't need a job in the future so I wouldn't risk it.

hownottofuckup · 28/07/2016 16:51

Is it paid sick leave? If so and you plan to continue working on your own business during that time then yes you would be massively unreasonable.
Tbh I think it's the kind of thing that makes it harder for people who really do need to be signed off sick for stress related illnesses not to be judged by others as just taking the piss.

Original poster

cherrypepsimax · 28/07/2016 16:53

Thanks for the replies. It is all down to time management, absolutely, and you are right, it wouldn't be fair to my colleagues.

I'll have to find a way to get through the next month and organise myself better. Ask DH to do even more than he already does

OP posts:

harderandharder2breathe · 28/07/2016 16:55

Yabu to refer to " going on the sick"

Yabu to work for your own business while off sick during your notice period. It's things like this that stop mental illnesses being taken seriously, people think you're pulling a fast one, and in this case OP you would be

Give your notice, suck it up for 4 more weeks.

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2016 16:55

Good luck

chocoLit · 28/07/2016 16:59

I run my own business and did it with a superstar job to begin with. It's not easy but I'd never have gone off sick and kept working on my own business.

If it helps I haven't had a sick day in 8yrs now since being self employed. I can't afford to

Grit your teeth and good luck.

bimbobaggins · 28/07/2016 17:02

i definitely wouldn't go on the sick. You never know you may need a reference or something in the future. Just grin and bear it

Original poster

cherrypepsimax · 28/07/2016 17:04

I don't think it is fair to say that this is not 'real stress' however hownottofuckitup - everyone has their breaking point.

I have coped with numerous family dramas, serious illnesses, and juggled 2 jobs on top of family life for about 3 years.

What would qualify me to be allowed to be stressed without taking the piss exactly?

OP posts:

PersianCatLady · 28/07/2016 17:05

I don't think you can go "on the sick" and then work on your own business, if I were your employer I would consider you be committing fraud against me.

Do you think that the situation is going to radically improve in four weeks time then?

TBH if you want to keep your job why don't you ease off on the business for 4 weeks and concentrate on work?

There is only so much that one person can do.

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2016 17:06

I don't think she was suggesting you're not really stressed. But dined off sick from your salaried job to work on your self employment is taking the poss I'm afraid

Lorelei76 · 28/07/2016 17:07

how long have you been there?

I'm just wondering because if you resign, then go off sick, they might try to let you go right away.

Also, I'm not clear on how much you do or don't need the money. If it's that bad, you could resign and say "hey, I don't want to leave you in the lurch but if you can let me go right away or give me reduced hours, it would help because I am not too well".

also, no offence but you say you've been struggling for 2 weeks - that doesn't sound long and you don't give the impression of being on the edge of breaking down, more like you are looking for a way to maximise the cash you are getting out of them. I appreciate that might be down to omissions or wording in your post though.

Lorelei76 · 28/07/2016 17:08

sorry we cross posted

I see from your update you are really stressed but the point about being in breach of contract if you continue to work for your own company is a good one

ExitPursuedByABear · 28/07/2016 17:12

Don't know if it is possible to just forgo your notice and leave immediately but with no pay?

Going off sick whilst still running your own business would be wrong on so many fronts.

If you are seriously stressed then you would not be able to work at all.

Original poster

cherrypepsimax · 28/07/2016 17:15

I'll be drip feeding, but I have been having chest pains, not sleeping, etc for about 12 months. I've managed to keep everything going just by working long hours, which is something that most people do and I've just got on with it.

Only in the last 2 weeks I can not concentrate on even the most simple of things and I'm making silly mistakes now. I think I am seriously reaching my breaking point, I realise that I did not word this properly in the OP.

I think the situation will radically improve yes, because I will have more time, and be under far less pressure.

I've had a kick up the bum from you all, thanks for the replies.

Some of the replies like saying YABU for using the term "on the sick" are not helpful and what is the point in them? Is there a PC term for that ? Sorry for not being aware of that. But really, I thought MN was for support, not for picking people apart.

OP posts:

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 28/07/2016 17:15

Someone I knew did get signed off from their employed job but continued to work on their own business (although without the added complication of being in their notice period) and they did get in trouble for it. I'm sorry you're having a hard time and don't doubt you, but I think that would be an unethical way to behave. By all means give in your notice, and as Lorelei says above ask if you can leave sooner or work less hours in the meantime. Also if you really feel your mental health is at risk then do see your gp for support.

ClarkL · 28/07/2016 17:18

I would hope simply by resigning and knowing you have just 4 weeks will relieve some stress, it's the first step towards a simpler life and often just doing it can make you feel better.
I was signed off with stress once, I used the time to find another job and on my first day back handed in my notice. The last 4 weeks were a breeze as I was no longer worrying

wheresthel1ght · 28/07/2016 17:19

I think the taking the piss comment refers to the fact you imply that whilst "off sick" you are intending to focus on your own business. That also implies correctly or not that the "Stress" is more a result of circumstance than actual illness.

As a sufferer of crippling anxiety attacks as a result of stress I have to say Your approach is highly unprofessional and unfair to your colleagues. But it is also exceptionally unfair to those of us who suffer with genuine physical and mental reactions to high stress situations and is the reason so many employers see stress as the new "back pain"

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