Question.

[WiMoChi]

Husband with anger problems bit his child and left a mark.

Unreasonable?

If he is granted access (unlikely if he is convicted) then you can demand that it is supervised in a contact centre or by a named person of your choice. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, such an awful situation you've been put in. Fwiw you've done the right thing.

Good. I feel so so sad as the good part of him is wonderful but the bad part is horrid. I can't risk him about my kids (and dogs).

If this has happened before hun or has happened to you, you should mention it to the Police or SS as it may impact on the actuon they tame against him x

Ok. It will go to court. How quickly is that likely to happen? I have to read out a victim statement etc.

Oh god, I'm so sorry.

Good for you for escaping. He is a violent abuser. No ifs or buts.

You mentioned dogs - are they still with him??

Tbh I find anyone over the age of about five, biting someone (in anger) fairly worrying.

Why would you even think it may not be assault?

No my dogs are absolutely with me

It all seems less serious today as police saying there's no mark there today.

That's ridiculous, how can they minimise what has happened and the impact it has had on your and your kids???? Are they not going to charge him?

Not sure. Why interview him tomorrow? I have no idea

Wait, what? So what if there is no mark?

Are you saying they don't believe he bit her?

No idea. The policies saw the marks last night and I've provided photographs too. But things have calmed down I feel now there are I marks there today

Really?

Did you/they photograph the mark?

I photo it and emailed it to them on their request

Just because injury may be less serious than first thought doesn't mean the behaviour that led to the injury is any less serious. It is luck that it isn't worse.

You really are doing the right thing. Well done for acting so quickly.

Is it not protocol that the police take their own photographs of injuries ?

How's it going OP?

Urgh. I hate living with my mum 😉

I'm very sad about so many things. I'm afraid of the future. I feel I've let my kids down. I'm never going to own my own home and rent forever. I will have to start at bottom of job chain. Fuck I will have to give birth alone!

So I'm feeling low TBH. But this too shall all pass.

I'm rich in love with daughter and dogs, right?

You feel you've let your kids down? YOU HAVE DONE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF LETTING YOUR KIDS DOWN!! You have protected them, at all this cost. And every second of worry you're experiencing now will be worth it in the future when you have sorted it all out (and you will, it'll be tough but you'll get there), you're with your children and they're happy. Safe. Loved and secure. Well done you, you have tough times ahead for sure but they are far, far better off because of you and what you've just done for them

Hey OP. It's ok to feel all the things you're feeling. Remember though that you are very strong and very brave. You have taken a first and very important step in protecting your children and yourself.

Even if the police don't take things any further, this incident has prompted you to realise that having him around your child(ren) just isn't safe. Seems to have been a bit of a short sharp shock / kick in the face from reality for you, from your original question to having made the decision to leave - that is an incredibly strong thing to have done. Completely understandable that you are feeling down about it - but please be proud of yourself. Tomorrow is a new day, one where you will all be safe. x

Thank you for the kind words. There so much to do. But I've done a lot already.

I'd love to go back to the home and live there so will be getting legal advice about that. But I've been and put myself on council list (last resort) and I need to earn something even income support before I can claim this or private rental help.

We've walked the dogs daily and been to the park and shops. I think it all helps. I've got one or two wonderful people in my life who have already been my rock.

I'm dreading the 'admin' coming up from all this.

I know I've done the right thing, even though people think I shouldn't fave told police. Had a bit of stick. But to be fair, if i am beig dramatic and he's innocent then he should have nothing to worry about hey? I've been telling him for months to get himself sorted, get himself help, stop his nastiness and anger, I told him time after time to. He went too far now. It's off loaded onto the experts. They can deal with it!

You have, and it must be exhausting, especially whilst pregnant!

My mums just told me I shouldn't have involved the police and that I should have split up amicably and arranged supervised contact.

Now I'm doubting my decision and feel guilty.