Question.

[WiMoChi]

Husband with anger problems bit his child and left a mark.

Unreasonable?

[mydietstartsmonday]

Wow, you have been amazing, don't doubt yourself.
Your mum is entitled to her opinion, so tell her you respect that but you have done what you feel is best and thank her for her support.

Well done you.

[sashh]

Our new life starts tomorrow I guess. Where do I start?? Anyone tell me? I've got nothing but an overnight bag.

You have much more than that. You have your children and pets.

Shortly your self esteem and sense of worth will begin to come back.

On a more practical note you need to talk tot he council about housing and start the process of claiming benefits.

[brambly]

Shit, didn't realise this was a couple of weeks old!

Hope you're OK and things are going well as they can, OP.

[brambly]

Think about it logically - if he, you or I bit another adult at work, we'd be sacked on the spot for gross misconduct and probably arrested for assault.

He bit a TINY CHILD, so tiny that to say it was too small to defend itself is an understatement.

We all lose our rag from time to time - my dad was very slap-happy and we get on fine now so I'm by no means at the most sensitive end of the spectrum on the child discipline front, but biting your child in anger? That is seriously fucked up, and you know it, and you've done exactly the right thing. In all likelihood your mother is either being selfish (doesn't want the aggro of a court case), afraid of confrontational situations or misguidedly believes that letting this go will make things better in the long run. A bit of all three, maybe.

I can't emphasise enough: you've done the right thing. Just consider how fucked up it is that your partner bit your baby in anger and you are feeling guilty.

[WilLiAmHerschel]

You did the right thing by reporting this op. Don't doubt that.

How old is your child?

[FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose]

How's it going OP? Hope you're doing well!

[WellErrr]

And how exactly does she think you would have got supervised contact in that case?

You wouldn't.

Youve done the right thing to protect your child.

[cariboo]

Don't doubt your decision for a moment, OP! You've done what any right-minded parent would do if their child was in danger. No-one should have to undergo abuse and certainly not a defenceless child!

[WiMoChi]

My mums just told me I shouldn't have involved the police and that I should have split up amicably and arranged supervised contact.

Now I'm doubting my decision and feel guilty.

[thisismyfirsttime]

You have, and it must be exhausting, especially whilst pregnant!

[WiMoChi]

Thank you for the kind words. There so much to do. But I've done a lot already.

I'd love to go back to the home and live there so will be getting legal advice about that. But I've been and put myself on council list (last resort) and I need to earn something even income support before I can claim this or private rental help.

We've walked the dogs daily and been to the park and shops. I think it all helps. I've got one or two wonderful people in my life who have already been my rock.

I'm dreading the 'admin' coming up from all this.

I know I've done the right thing, even though people think I shouldn't fave told police. Had a bit of stick. But to be fair, if i am beig dramatic and he's innocent then he should have nothing to worry about hey? I've been telling him for months to get himself sorted, get himself help, stop his nastiness and anger, I told him time after time to. He went too far now. It's off loaded onto the experts. They can deal with it!

[CannotThinkOfOne]

Even if the police don't take things any further, this incident has prompted you to realise that having him around your child(ren) just isn't safe. Seems to have been a bit of a short sharp shock / kick in the face from reality for you, from your original question to having made the decision to leave - that is an incredibly strong thing to have done. Completely understandable that you are feeling down about it - but please be proud of yourself. Tomorrow is a new day, one where you will all be safe. x

[EllieHandMeDownBaby]

Hey OP. It's ok to feel all the things you're feeling. Remember though that you are very strong and very brave. You have taken a first and very important step in protecting your children and yourself.

[thisismyfirsttime]

You feel you've let your kids down? YOU HAVE DONE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF LETTING YOUR KIDS DOWN!! You have protected them, at all this cost. And every second of worry you're experiencing now will be worth it in the future when you have sorted it all out (and you will, it'll be tough but you'll get there), you're with your children and they're happy. Safe. Loved and secure. Well done you, you have tough times ahead for sure but they are far, far better off because of you and what you've just done for them

[WiMoChi]

Urgh. I hate living with my mum 😉

I'm very sad about so many things. I'm afraid of the future. I feel I've let my kids down. I'm never going to own my own home and rent forever. I will have to start at bottom of job chain. Fuck I will have to give birth alone!

So I'm feeling low TBH. But this too shall all pass.

I'm rich in love with daughter and dogs, right?

[FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose]

How's it going OP?

[AnyFucker]

Is it not protocol that the police take their own photographs of injuries ?

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Just because injury may be less serious than first thought doesn't mean the behaviour that led to the injury is any less serious. It is luck that it isn't worse.

You really are doing the right thing. Well done for acting so quickly.

[WiMoChi]

I photo it and emailed it to them on their request

[WellErrr]

Did you/they photograph the mark?

[WellErrr]

Really?

[WiMoChi]

No idea. The policies saw the marks last night and I've provided photographs too. But things have calmed down I feel now there are I marks there today

[KoalaDownUnder]

Wait, what? So what if there is no mark?

Are you saying they don't believe he bit her?

[WiMoChi]

Not sure. Why interview him tomorrow? I have no idea

[ayeokthen]

That's ridiculous, how can they minimise what has happened and the impact it has had on your and your kids???? Are they not going to charge him?