To think a 12yo should know better?

[WibblyWobblyJellyHead]

I cleaned the whole house this morning, for context.

DD (12) asked if she could do some painting. I said yes, but only in the garden and only if she cleared everything away afterwards. I left her to it and played Lego in the front room wth my 4yo DS for the rest of the afternoon.

I've just gone out to start dinner. Omfg. There is paint all over the patio. She had painted her entire forearms with green paint. Obviously tried to wash it off at some point and completely trashed the bathroom in the process, leaving a half filled painty bath and handprints everywhere. Still has green arms.

She's made 'goo' out of a whole bottle of washing up liquid, most of the salt, a tube of toothpaste and some glue. It's all over the patio table. We now don't have any washing up liquid, toothpaste or much table salt.

She's also papier mached a balloon which she has hung up to dry on the washing line with the clean clothes. There are torn bits of magazine all over the grass. Glue everywhere.

All the painting stuff is strewn around the garden.

I lost my shit and she is now sobbing and petulantly clearing up. She has been incredibly rude to me and DH about the whole thing. I will have to clean the kitchen floor again as she's been in and out with wet bare feet and it's disgusting.

I seriously can't do six more weeks of this shit. AIBU to think by now she should know better? I'd expect this sort of behaviour from a 4yo, not a nearly teen. She'll be in yr8 in September ffs.

AIBU?

Its unusual behaviour OP I agree.

Is she like that normally or is this a complete one off? Is she a bit more awkward, forgetful or disorganised than others her age?

I think some kids are just like this ...

YANBU. She is 12, should not need supervision and should not be disrespecting the house and garden like that. I would make her clean every last bit up and go shopping to replace the stuff she's used up. She does sound somewhat young for her age, or else she's attention-seeking- maybe enroll her in a holiday scheme?

See I quite like it when they do this, reminds me of the toddler years which I loved and miss so much. 12 is still young

I would make her clean every last bit up and go shopping to replace the stuff she's used up.

I'd make her lick it up and enrol her in a gulag

Limited period- LOL!

Limitedperiod- LOL!

I think I wouldn't have minded so much if I hadn't done such a big clean this morning. My MIL and FIL came over and we all spent a good three hours deep cleaning and fixing stuff. DD knew this.

If the house was in its usual shabby state I would probably have been able to laugh it off. Probably.

Sounds a bit babyish for a twelve year old.
However, YANBU it is out of order.

She watched This Morning didnt she!!!! Mmmmmm

If anybody doesn't know "This Morning" had lots of child friendly experiments including how to make gunge with washing up liquid and glue!

I then left her to it. Big mistake.
I doubt that you will make it again though.

Sounds a bit babyish for a twelve year old.

Really? My husband was 43 when he filled a hole above his head with that expanding rat-proof foam that hardens on contact with air and was amazed when it ran down his arms, dripped on his head and ruined one of his favourite shirts.

I didn't give a shit because it was outside.

I can't believe the helicopter parenting from some posters. She's 12 not 2 and should be able play without creating chaos.

At her age I had my own pony and weekends and holidays I was out of the house before my parents were awake with a pack lunch that I'd made myself. Cycle to the field with the saddle and bridle. Look after my pony, go out for the day across the countryside and back, care for my pony, cycle home, clean the tack( keeping the area clean), shower ( cleaning up after myself) and change ready for dinner.

School days I was up before everyone else and down the field to tend to my pony and then back to get ready for school. After school I would do my homework and then would go and check. This was in pre mobile days as well.

A 12 year old with no special needs should be perfectly capable.

That made me chuckle however I would go mental!! At 12 I hope to god my days of cleaning up after messy play are well and truly over ;) even my 5 year old is quite good at tidying up and putting stuff away!

You would have to be Jesus or mother Theresa for this not to piss you off

Only on MN would a 12 year old, acting so ridiculously (which the OP's DD did) be a sign of parental neglect FFS.

DD2 is 12, and we're both perfectly content for her to spend hours and hours on her own, in her bedroom or the study, reading or on her phone/laptop etc.

I don't feel any need to 'give her some input' and she certainly doesn't want it from me, anyway.

OP in your shoes I would have detonated like a nuclear warhead. At 12 my DD can do algebra, re-format her laptop and bake a cake...so, she can easily clean up properly after herself.

It's amazing how many posters were either perfect 12 year olds or have completely forgotten what it's like to be one. Checking on your child who has been left alone with paint isn't "helicopter parenting" ffs, it could even be classed as taking an interest, what a thought.

When I were 12 I was in a hole in the ground, up before i went to bed and thrashed to sleep with a bottle and we were grateful ..... oh those were the days !
Life's different for kids now.

Yanbu. I too can't believe the idea you should have been supervising better. My dd is the same age and regularly has no supervision in the day. Nor would I even dream of supervising her doing something like painting.

I expect age related mistakes, like when she last cooked bolognese and despite wiping the counter tops the cupboard fronts looked like a crime scene. Or not checking the sky before assuming that as the cats were out, it would be safe to paint a huge collage on the floor downstairs, only for the heavens to open, cats race in, and the result being multi coloured paw prints everywhere.

People often fail to live up to my expectations. That's okay, so long as they ruin their own things. If there is a chance that they're going to ruin something that matters to me, I either don't allow it or I supervise them. That applies whether they are six, 12 or 43.

when i was 12 i synthesised happiness and eradicated poverty in 2 out of 3 worlds. i was trusted with my dad's gold Amex and i only ever charged improving toys made of ethically-sourced orangutang snot, and healthy gruel for the ugly poor people littering the hospital where i have my blood plasma extracted and spun into purest gold.

i hope this helps.

She's redeemed herself by taking charge of bedtime for the 4yo.

This involves him having a sleepover in her room and watching tv until they fall asleep. DH is out and I suck at bedtime so this way I get an evening.

So overall I think I've won at parenting today.

I just hope to goodness it was water soluble paint. If so, no harm done.

As for the lady with the pony stories....I would like to warmly congratulate you and hope you have continued to lead a life of charmed perfection, where your every action is perfect in every single f way possible.

Username might be better as Hyacinth Bouquet

Bahaha that made me snort. It's thanks to YouTube this shit is happening.

My 9 year old DD declared today she wanted to make slime and needed Borax. I don't know wtf Borax is, let alone have any. She then googled and said she would use shampoo and salt. Meh. Go on then. Crack on, good luck.
As usual, experiment failed. Find kitchen in state of gooey powdery mess.
"But I cleaned up!" she wails.
No. No you didn't. You also filled up the salt pot with fucking flour and sugar in the vain hope that I wouldn't notice you had used ALL the salt....