To think being a single parent of 2 won't be massively different to of 1?

[chaserubbleandskye]

DH and I have seperated before. He's a good dad though and he's always provided financially.
Both of us would like another child. Fertility issues involved and time against us.

My DF thinks "it would be best you don't have anymore actually, you don't have enough practical support"

I probably don't. But I cope. Should I deny any chance of another child based on the possibility that I will be a single mum to another?

I think it hurts most as I know I may not be able to have any more, fertility wise it may not happen.

However is it so unreasonable to choose to take that chance? The child would still have a dad even if our relationship didn't survive long term

I think it makes a big difference. I agree with pps that there are difficulties when one wants/has to do something different from the other eg appointments and activities. You can't leave one at home, you have to lug them both around with you and that gets harder as they get older.

As your eldest starts to become a bit more independent you could have some freedom if you had an only child but you are still tied to the house with the younger one when you have two.

When I first became a single parent (when ex left) I remember the sudden realisation every now and then that there were some simple things I could not do any more eg pop out down the road to post a letter. If I wanted to post a letter they both had to come with me. If I needed to get a birthday card, we all had to get in the car. You have to be very organised.

I also found childcare difficult when they were in different schools that started and finished at different times. I had childminders, a nanny, breakfast club, family helping out all on different days of the week. And if somebody was ill, child or child carer, everything fell apart. I found it a struggle to work full time and had to reduce my hours.

I used to think my eldest would have missed out if she didn't have a sibling but now I think there are many advantages to being an only child.

Having said that if their father will share the load and you have good family support it is doable. I have single parent friends who have found it easier than me.

I don't think that going from 1 to 2 is six times the work. In someways it's easier because you aren't learning how to care for a baby. With my first I was worried about making mistakes. With dd I was more relaxed which made me less tired.

It is true that there is more mess with more children. You also have to take on the role of UN peacekeeper at times.

i think you should try. You may not get another chance

but yeah, obviously its harder to have two than one, but its still hardly a massive amount of children. Its a pretty normal amount to have

From what your DF (dad?) said, are your parents already helping you out? Would having another affect them? Maybe babysitting your oldest for longer or something?