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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Should Mumsnet forum users be allowed to Swear!

439 replies

cakelover14 · 23/07/2016 18:54

No offence I enjoy reading the discussions on this board but why do mums really feel the need to swear in their posts! What kind of example are we setting as mums if we can't control the use of our tongues and use language that is obscene.

Mumsnet - why is it not your policy to remove swear words from posts? saying we are all adults doesn't excuse the use of foul language! I am sure I cannot be the only mumsnet user who doesn't want to read swear words every five seconds. It makes me close a thread and stop reading what otherwise could be an interesting read.

All I can say is no wonder every time I go the playground with my kids I hear young children using foul language when parents can't even control their tongues anymore! Unfortunately I agree the world is full of people who swear but as mums should we not take the lead in setting a good example for the next generation???

OP posts:
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Pettywoman · 23/07/2016 21:48

I thought swearing was in the Mumsnet constitution, like the second amendment or something. We have the right to bare arms (even if we do have bingo wings) and the right to say fuck or bugger.

memyselfandaye · 23/07/2016 21:48

Are you really so thick you think every single person mumsnet is a Mother?

They are'nt, and shock horror, some are'nt even female! Some are neither Mother's or Father's and are'nt ever planning to be.

I bet you would rather I said "Mummies" and Daddies" would'nt you OP?

I imagine you have those cunty car stickers with Mummy's little prince or princess on board.

Or maybe you are from the Daily Mail, meh.

I like to swear, it's good for the fucking soul.

Girlgonewild · 23/07/2016 21:48

I never swear on line or off line. As my mother always said it shows a very limited vocabulary if you feel you have to swear.

acasualobserver · 23/07/2016 21:52

memyselfandaye it ill behoves you to call another poster thick when there are so many punctuation errors in your own writing.

SectionImperfection · 23/07/2016 21:53

As my mother always said it shows a very limited vocabulary if you feel you have to swear

Surely adding in a few swear words would extend one's vocabulary?

Nah, your mother's talking shit.

PinkyofPie · 23/07/2016 21:53

it shows a very limited vocabulary if you feel you have to swear.

What a load of shit. It's words, you are not superior because you don't use certain words.

Good grief I do sometimes wonder how people go about their day without being morbidly offended at every turn

spanky2 · 23/07/2016 21:54

I'm gonna make bunting for my garden that reads 'cunting' when my dcs are teens. It's just words. I swear if I want to when my dcs are there. The important point is I don't swear at them. My mum used to swear at me and call me swear words when I was little, so I might not have a normal response about this. My anxiety disorder is a motherfucker though!

RaspberryOverload · 23/07/2016 21:54

Girlgonewild Sat 23-Jul-16 21:48:53

I never swear on line or off line. As my mother always said it shows a very limited vocabulary if you feel you have to swear.

There's a link earlier in the thread to a study showing that those who swear actually have better vocabularies.

But my mother used to say this all the time too. I'm proud to say that recently my DB and I managed to extract her first public utterance of the word "fuck".

Mind you, we'd been joking between ourselves and it wound her up. and we're aged 44 and 47, so we've been trying a long time

AdjustableWench · 23/07/2016 21:55

Kittens
Grin

bungmean · 23/07/2016 21:56

So mums shouldn't swear, OP?

Doesn't bother me. I'm a fucking dad, and you didn't mention dads.

Marmalade85 · 23/07/2016 21:56

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Shizzlestix · 23/07/2016 21:58

Has anyone handed the OP a grip yet? Wink

I can't and wouldn't swear in front of the children at work all day or the children at the stables, so in the privacy of my own home and on a forum, I think I will because I'M A FUCKING ADULT.

Creatureofthenight · 23/07/2016 21:59

I have an excellent vocabulary thank you. One should never underestimate the cathartic value of a well-placed fuck (and yes I suppose you can take that two ways).

QOD · 23/07/2016 22:00

Fucking hell

Doubt you've come back to your own thread

MrsHathaway · 23/07/2016 22:06

Didn't need the strikeout - forgot there'd be a preview.

That sounds interesting and just the sort of conversation I want to have with my small boys. Alas I know nothing, so if be be very fucking grateful if you could elaborate

Whores or Brian Blessed?

/jk

Tbh it was quite an organic if surreal conversation when DC1 (then 6) asked what "fuck" meant on the way home from school with DC2 (3) and DC3 (8m) in the Phil & Teds. I told him it was another word for sex, but ...

Things to know:

Most swear words in English are Anglo Saxon (or older). That's what many of the commoners spoke when William the Bastard arrived in 1066 from France, although we call it English. He spoke French, unsurprisingly, and so did the nobles he had brought over with him. The ruling class spoke what linguists now call Anglo-Norman French (because it developed slightly differently from French on the mainland) and the church spoke Latin. There are lots of triplets in modern English reflecting the three influences, eg kingly/royal/regal. Also we note the historical-linguistic difference between animals as farmed by peasants (cow, pig) and as eaten by nobs (beef, pork).

With me so far?

Eventually the nobles were all speaking English (for reasons including interbreeding and native wet nurses and other staff) but there was still a difference between posh French-influenced English and common Anglo-Saxon English. The latter is known as vulgar, from the Latin (see?) meaning "of the people". Now, there wasn't the derogatory sense at that time, except the extent to which the nobility looked down on the commoners anyway.

But later - and honestly this is much much later, like centuries and centuries - people started getting very agitated about vulgarity. In the sixteenth century "cunt" was only rude insofar as it was talking about private parts; nowadays it's almost unutterably rude.

Why the change? Pure sensibility. People decided to find the words offensive in their own right, so they became offensive in their own right. They have power because we have given them power.

Meanwhile, blasphemy used to be a real taboo - in many periods of history and indeed currently in certain parts of the world, misuse of religious terms was truly shocking and actively illegal. Over the centuries we've become less and less religious as a society, and nobody in a pub shouts "Zounds" when his pint gets spilt. Nowadays people can sprinkle their conversation with the names of God and Jesus in front of maiden aunts and small children and nobody cares very much.

Knowing that it's just taboo takes some of the sting out of it for me. But it becomes like holding doors or picking your nails - a custom you observe because you've learned how people react when you do or don't observe it.

A small child is quite capable of understanding that we don't do things that could upset people, even if we think their upset is daft. That's the angle we took.

And it means that within a group that has decided the words aren't offensive, they aren't offensive. Within Mumsnet they aren't offensive; they're an in-joke, an intensifier, a signal of emotion. And that's why OP was wrong.

Trills · 23/07/2016 22:11

Fab post MrsHathaway.

Is it true that French spoken by nobles in England diverged from the fashionable Parisian French, and so they were laughed at and then said "fuck it, we'll speak English"?

PacificDogwod · 23/07/2016 22:11

That is fascinating, MrsHathaway, I love language.
Thank you for taking the time Thanks

pointythings · 23/07/2016 22:12

MrsH I think I have a teeny tiny crush on you now.

I also have a vocabulary the size of Manchester. And I swear a lot.

My DD2 is 13 and also swears a lot (but never inappropriately in terms of context). She too has a massive vocabulary and has a collection of pet words stored on her Google+ account because she loves words. I am very proud of her.

pictish · 23/07/2016 22:13

The old swearing = limited vocabulary statement is so lame. It doesn't even mean anything. It's not true. There's no point in saying it.

PacificDogwod · 23/07/2016 22:13

"Zounds"? Really?? Zounds??

Every day's a school day Grin

WhooooAmI24601 · 23/07/2016 22:17

MrsHathaway You are amazing!

I work in a class full of 4/5 year olds 5 days a week but love a good swear when I'm away from them. I also have DCs of my own and often swear in relation to them (most recently I declared "what the fucking fuck" to DH when I caught DS2 drawing on the dog with pink sharpie).

My children are well-rounded, non-sweary and happy. The children in my class don't hear me swear because, surprisingly, I'm able to modify my language dependent on each situation. Swearing has nothing to do with limited vocabulary and everything to do with personality.

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/07/2016 22:19

Seriously PresidentOliviaMN! FFS.Hmm Sorry Mnetters for calling you all a shower of cunts. And twat monkeys.

fluffywol · 23/07/2016 22:19

I love MN for the swearing, amongst other things. I also like the fact that these sorts of threads turn into an extension of the Sweary Thread.

MistressMerryWeather · 23/07/2016 22:19

I love reading stuff like that, thank you MrsH.

SarcasmMode · 23/07/2016 22:23

Yes.

Because we are all adults.

It may not be nice but you can't tell a fully grown adult in RL not to swear, so you shouldn't have your choice taken away here.

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