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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"fucking school holidays !"

181 replies

mrsfuzzy · 23/07/2016 11:39

have just heard the gentle tones of my neighbour with her two young dcs, they broke up yesterday ! how does anyone manage nowadays ? are more dcsgaming/indoors or do people actually take dcs out ? years have gone by since i did this stuff and i'm out of touch Blush

OP posts:
gandalf456 · 26/07/2016 11:37

I think it depends on the ages of your children, their temperament, the weather, how much money you have, whether you are going away or not, whether you have a car or not, whether you have contacts with other adults or not.

I have gone through periods of hating them and enjoying them, dependent on the above.

Owllady · 26/07/2016 11:39

I have already had enough :o I imagine neighbours have too! Lol

toomanypetals · 26/07/2016 11:46

But you can't compare having one seven year old with, for example, three children under five and being stuck at the top of a high rise with no money.

Which is why smug judgement shows a stunning lack of empathy. By all means enjoy your holidays but acknowledge that a degree of fortune, not superior parenting, is involved.

greenfolder · 26/07/2016 11:47

I get fed up of people moaning about it. I,like most people i know have to work full time and get 5 weeks per year hols. i save vouchers all year to pay for decent childcare over summer. but this still involves driving miles out of my way each morning, getting home later at night and thank god i only have 1 to pay for now. I have 3. i manage 2 weeks with dd during the 6/7 weeks holidays. i am happy with this as its the best that can be managed given all the other factors. I think it is hard if you have dc with special needs or are isolated in someway

BeautyQueenFromMars · 26/07/2016 11:47

DS broke up last Thursday (21st). He spent Friday at his aunt's, playing with his cousins. This week he's at holiday club, having tons and tons of fun - way more than he would be if I was at home with him, so I don't need to feel guilty. He has 3 weeks altogether at holiday club, a week and a half with his grandparents, and another week and half with me, either on holiday (with DH also) or doing days together (just us). We'll go to the beach, cinema, explore places we've not been before, watch films at home, have picnics, play computer games, make cupcakes, do some arts and crafts. I think we'll be going for lots of walks to play Pokemon Go too Grin.

PickAChew · 26/07/2016 11:51

I take mine out roughly every other day. Only broke up on Friday and have already spent £50 on bus fares Shock

PickAChew · 26/07/2016 11:54

And that's just to get to all the Pokestops free stuff!

wizzywig · 26/07/2016 12:02

I find the kind of activities that other kids seem to like that others have mentiones here, eg, walks, jumping in puddles, making stuff outof cardboard boxes doesnt hold their attention for more than a few mins.

Naicecuppatea · 26/07/2016 12:06

My part-time work routine carries on as usual during the holidays and we take 2 weeks annual leave. Childcare is more fiddly and expensive to organise. But overall I don't mind the holidays, we are planning to do some fun days out with friends on my days off work. It is nice not having to rush in the mornings! Plus great to have good weather.

MargotLovedTom · 26/07/2016 19:32

Snorting at petitpois not 'getting the angst' about the summer holidays - it's precisely because you have one self-sufficient 16yr old who makes her own plans but still enjoys shopping and lunches with mum, and obviously have the funds to cover said shopping, lunches, festival trips, Spanish holidays and London mini-breaks that you find the summer holidays such a pleasure. Who wouldn't in that situation?!

I find it a mixed bag. Love the lie ins, not rushing about, doing what we want etc etc. Don't love the bickering and the mess.

toomanypetals · 26/07/2016 21:06

As I said, you can't compare having an older, self-sufficient child and money to three under five and low income.

It's the lack of empathy that pisses me off. I'm lucky in many aspects - enough income to treat ourselves a wee bit etc but I can see that some people struggle for a variety of reasons. Mental health, income, work commitments, age and stage of children etc.

So I don't come on these threads gloating about how I've breezed through the holidays with various free activities, which are supposed to entertain kids all day but in reality a toddler only splashes in puddles for ten fucking minutes.

The truth is, in most cases, those who have such an easy time are spending money or have support or older kids. But they're too inward looking or smug to consider other viewpoints.

NicknameUsed · 26/07/2016 21:18

Playing devil's advocate here, so feel free to flame me.

Maybe these parents think that you kind of know that this goes with the territory of having more than 2 or 3children.

I feel for you though.

petitpois55 · 26/07/2016 21:30

Oh dear, I do apologise for enjoying my life, Margot Will never say anything again about the Summer holidays unless it's to report how miserable it all is...

toomanypetals · 26/07/2016 21:37

Nothing wrong with enjoying your life - but can't you envisage why others don't find it so easy?

Alfieisnoisy · 26/07/2016 21:50

Oh god yes I remember the early years with DS. It's a bloody breeze now compared to when he was three. And I only ever had DS but it was still a struggle. So yes I feel for anyone struggling with a variety of ages and a low income. We have a low income (benefits at the moment) but DS's Dad (my exH) has given me some money this week so we are going to an animal sanctuary tomorrow and I might even buy DS some lunch there.

We have walked virtually every day since Friday and it's been good for both of us.

OhGodWhatTheHellNow · 26/07/2016 23:10

Ah, we like tho hols at first but by about week 4 the dcs are missing their friends and look forward to school restarting (rural, playing with friends has to be 'arranged')
I work pt from home so just carry on around them as much as I can, with one day a week of Grannycare so I can go into the office, which with a weekly trip to the library plus an expedition for shoes comprises all our outings! It is nice to chill though, I don't miss the morning shouting match to get us all out the door on time Grin

MargotLovedTom · 27/07/2016 00:28

Yep petitpois, nothing wrong with enjoying life, but everything wrong with smugness and insensitivity. It's as if you didn't even properly read what others had written, otherwise surely you wouldn't have tritely dismissed it as 'angst'.

petitpois55 · 27/07/2016 09:01

Smug and insensitive okay, if you say so.. There has been a lot of smugness and nastiness from posters about SAHM's who have the audacity to not work and enjoy spending their holidays with their kids.

Oh and your post above snorting at everything me and my family are doing in the holidays smacks very much of the green eyed monster.
that's not really a good place to be.

toomanypetals · 27/07/2016 09:28

Erm I am a sahm Hmm

And I do enjoy aspects of the holidays. But I have enough empathy to understand why some struggle.

GreaseIsNotTheWord · 27/07/2016 09:32

We did loads last year in the holidays. We had more time off than usual and had a bit of a windfall last July...we did plenty of free things like beach, walks, games afternoons, parks...but also went camping, to longleat, a theme park and a few other paid things. By far the most active summer we've had.

When ds1 went back in September, they had to write a story about the best thing they'd done that summer.
They had a whole afternoon, plenty of time to think about it. Ds1's was 'Dad let me eat crisps in bed when I was playing on my ds game' Confused . It made me realise that whatever you do, however much or little time or money you have, dc will have a different perspective of what was great anyway.

petitpois55 · 27/07/2016 09:35

Ah Grease, that's sounds magical. Eating crisps in bed though, i think that would be a step too farSmile

AuldYow · 27/07/2016 09:45

Day 3 of school holidays here and it's a tentative doing amazingly ok and enjoying them. I work PT but on annual leave this week.

My DCs are 10 & 11 and the first thing I did was put a 'how to have a happy holiday' basic rules of the house list on the fridge door. We all know where we stand so it doesn't descend into a 'screen time' war Hmm. I did the same last year and didn't want them to end. I loved the lack of rigidity and outside peer pressure on them we could all just get on and do our own family thing. They're currently haven't left over birthday cake for breakfast Wink

JasperDamerel · 27/07/2016 10:06

I always start the holidays strictly, too. Day 1 is rules, day 2 is cleaning the house and the fun starts on day 3.

Artandco · 27/07/2016 10:11

Love the holidays here. They have been off almost a month already.

Dh and I work from home, so still need to work around the children. However we have done this since they were newborn, so now we can do longer hours when they are at school, and in holidays we shift a lot to working very early or later when they are asleep, or a few when they occupy themselves.

It's much more relaxing for us to be able to let children sleep in if they like, go out and no worry about getting back in time for collection, and can go out late without worrying they won't get enough sleep for school. We will have travelled a bit, kids stayed with grandparents, mixture of chilling at home and going out.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 27/07/2016 10:20

"There has been a lot of smugness and nastiness from posters about SAHM's who have the audacity to not work and enjoy spending their holidays with their kids"

No there hasn't. You are quite the contrary mary aren't you petitpois?