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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to bring packed lunch and not join my co-workers during lunch outs?

37 replies

CoolToned · 21/07/2016 22:45

I work 2x/week and I really need to lose weight. Plus, I do not want to spend money when there is food I can bring, and I do prefer knowing what's in the food I am eating.

My friend at work does not bring her own food. She is also vegan due to religion. If I do not go out to lunch with her, she will be having lunch by herself.

I feel a bit guilty when I say I have lunch packed because that means she will have to go out to lunch by herself. Also, since she is vegan, the places we go to are usually Italian places, and I try to stay away from carbs.

Should I feel guilty for bringing my own food?

OP posts:
Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 22:47

Also, I am new to the workplace and would really want to nurture friendship. That's why I joined the past few lunches.

OP posts:
MiniLop · 21/07/2016 22:47

YANBU, you shouldn't feel obligated to go out for lunch with a colleague.
Do you have her number? Maybe you could text her and let her know your plan to bring a packed lunch, then it gives her warning and she could do the same if she wanted to.

PeekAtChu · 21/07/2016 22:49

I wouldn't go out with her every lunchtime, that would cost a fortune surely? It's her choice not to bring her lunch in. Maybe tell her you can't budget for it regularly but maybe once a month?

Mouikey · 21/07/2016 22:52

Why don't you suggest sitting in the local
Park to eat lunch and catch up? But give her some warming. Alternatiey go For a walk past a sandwich place and see if she would buy and sandwich and sit outside to eat?

T0ddlerSlave · 21/07/2016 22:53

Could you eat before you go and just have a drink to keep her company?

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 22:59

PeekAtChu - That's my plan, actually, to go with her once a month. I can't really afford eating out all the time, plus, I really need to lose weight.

OP posts:
StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 21/07/2016 23:02

If you have a pret a manger near work, that's great for both vegan diets and losing weight.

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:04

Our office is actually in the Italian restaurant district - so pizza, pasta choices. The last time I joined, I had a salad with tuna that would have cost me 1/4 if I made it myself.

OP posts:
StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 21/07/2016 23:05

Just to clarify - as well as a good choice of vegan stuff (for a chain) there's loads of sub 500 calorie salads and sarnies and everything's on MyFitnessPal, if you;re using that. Salads come with dressing in a separate pot, calorie counted separately, so you can add as little or as much as you like and there's a few low carb options, if that's what you're doing. It's also really bloody delicious - knocks M&S into the shade.

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:11

Stick - we do not have Pret near work, unfortunately. Our area has not yet caught up with healthy eating - it's either Italian, or Asian (Indian, Chinese) or Fish and Chips.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 21/07/2016 23:11

Not a damn thing wrong with it! I have Coeliac and did the same. And I had no compunction of taking my lunch with me to a restaurant and eating it there (I'd buy a beverage).

Wanting to lose weight is a perfectly good reason for packing your own lunch. You can always eat it ahead at your desk (if that permitted) and then just sit with her and visit whilst she eats and have a diet soda or tea. I did that plenty of times, too.

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:11

I once had salad with tuna in one of the Italian restaurants but it was bloody expensive for a work lunch.

OP posts:
StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 21/07/2016 23:15

x-posted - yes Italian does sometimes seem expensive for what it is. Enjoyable, but it's not tricky stuff. When I eat out, I do prefer stuff that's either too much of a faff to make or something that I'd always end up eating alone.

DH and I had lunch in a recently renovated local pub, yesterday. The food was lovely, but I ended up plumping for scampi and chips because everything on the menu seemed so heavy, anyhow.

And I'm so disappointed when I pay £13 for a salad i could make myself for a fraction of the price. I had and enjoyed a Goddess salad with salmon in Zizzi - the salad was lovely but the salmon was a thin tail piece, cooked ot death. Had a salmon salad in Rossopomodoro a month later. The salmon itself was beautiful, but the salad was nothing more than gritty 80p bag of baby spinach with a bit of (tasty) dressing artcully drizzled over it. For £13, I want the lovely crunchy, varied salad and the beautifuly cooked £1.50 piece of salmon, please. I can accept that a god proportion of the missing tenner pays for staff and premises and that I get out of the washing up in return for keeping you afloat - so long as something simple is all good.

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:18

Stick - that's me too! I want to eat something I can't make myself when I eat out, but then I can't eat those regularly as I am trying to lose weight. Once we split a pizza, and I did not enjoy it because I really do not like eating carbs.

OP posts:
Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:19

Sorry I meant I like eating carbs, but in the form of a cake, or ice cream! So if I am going to eat carbs, I prefer it to be in the form of something decadent, something I enjoy, and I am perfectly happy NOT blowing carbs on pizza.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/07/2016 23:20

She goes out for lunch every day ? Shock

Of course YANBU to take in your own lunch. You have nothing to feel guilty over. If you are new, then presumably she managed without you before you started ?

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:21

BackorGood - we only work together 2x/week (we are in uni the rest of the week) so yes, she goes out for lunch everytime. We also started together on the same day.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/07/2016 23:23

Why would you feel guilty though? Confused

Surely if she wants your company at lunchtime, she'll bring a packed lunch?

Perhaps she likes eating alone?

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:23

I am thinking of mentioning that I follow a strict diet with weighing of food, etc. Which is not a lie, since I really will be following that starting next week. So she'd know I can't really eat out.

She's my only friend at work though, and actually only new friend in a long time so I kinda feel bad about not joining.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/07/2016 23:25

So you are at university, and presumably this is some kind of placement? In which case that makes it even more unreasonable to be spending at that rate - students aren't reknowned for having lots of spare cash to flash around. Just tell her that from next week, you are tightening your belt (moneywise) so will be bringing a packed lunch each day.

Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:25

WorraLiberty - just I really like her, and I feel like having lunch out is a form of bonding or something. I don't think she likes eating out alone, as the last time she asked me out, I was busy and couldn't leave because I was finishing something, so she asked another new colleague but that one brought packed lunch too.

OP posts:
Original poster
CoolToned · 21/07/2016 23:26

BackforGood - yes, we are both at uni.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/07/2016 23:26

x post.
Probably, if you eat a packed lunch in the staff area, then you'll get chatting to other people at work too, who you won't get to know if you go out each time you are there Smile

WorraLiberty · 21/07/2016 23:26

Are all of your relationships this one sided?

I mean do you always take it upon yourself to carry guilt and feel that these things are down to you?

WorraLiberty · 21/07/2016 23:27

Sorry, X posted.

If she minded, she'd bring a lunch and eat with you.

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