to bring packed lunch and not join my co-workers during lunch outs?

[CoolToned]

I work 2x/week and I really need to lose weight. Plus, I do not want to spend money when there is food I can bring, and I do prefer knowing what's in the food I am eating.

My friend at work does not bring her own food. She is also vegan due to religion. If I do not go out to lunch with her, she will be having lunch by herself.

I feel a bit guilty when I say I have lunch packed because that means she will have to go out to lunch by herself. Also, since she is vegan, the places we go to are usually Italian places, and I try to stay away from carbs.

Should I feel guilty for bringing my own food?

I'm decades past uni and solvent and wouldn't want to eat out daily! (I'd live on cheap M&S cheese and onion sarnies if I really had to, but have somehow managed to make lunch when even that was unaffordable!)

Even when I had a jo with an establishment serving food across the road, lunch out was every few Fridays. Every day, in the absence of a cheap canteen, in quite excessive. Even DH sticks with a baked potato and beans when he needs to resort to that!

WorraLiberty - not sure, I guess in some ways yes, but especially this time, I haven't had a new friend for a long time (migrated, stayed at home for two years, not just recently started working) and I really want to "bond" but eating out 2x/week is not something I am comfortable with, especially since the options are all carby and/or expensive and I need to lose weight.

You might find that she ends up joining you for packed lunches. I'm just wondering how much choice she can have in Italian restaurants? I'm vegan and I would be eating the same meal, over and over.

There is absolutely no reason for you to piss money up the wall on meals out just because that is what your friend chooses to do. You are overthinking it and are at risk of becoming a doormat rather than a friend.

She could bring a packed lunch and join you if she was bothered. She might even enjoy getting fresh air on her own. Either way, enjoy your packed lunch and good luck with the weight loss

PovertyPain - once, we split a pizza, then the other time, she ordered pasta with sauce. I can't really eat the same way because I will balloon.

If she's as keen as you are about bonding over lunch, she'll bring a packed lunch.

Why not suggest it to her?

If it was a pizza with cheese, then she's vegetarian, not vegan. Sorry, just had to point that out. If it's a treat, then restaurant food is ok, but I would find it too heavy to eat all the time. Since she's vegetarian, she should be understanding of your dietary choices, so not mind if you eat at work.

She eats out every single day? Fair enough but why do you feel like you have to every day too? Surely if she's wanting to spend time with you you could come to a compromise and half the month she brings a packed lunch, and the other half you go out with her? Or along those lines anyway.
Maybe she's one of those like me who relishes eating alone and buries their head even deeper into their newspaper when they see anyone approaching who wants to chat. leave me alone goddammit
Although I appreciate I can be an unsociable git sometimes who loves alone time....

Why do you feel guilty about this? Of course YANBU.

Hang on. So you've been out for lunch twice? Is that right?

Look she's quite possibly sitting wondering how she mentions to you she can't afford to eat out all the time without upsetting you...

For gods sake woman just say something!!

We ate out twice, then the last two times, I did not join her because I was finishing something. She went out both times for lunch.

She also said she does not watch her diet.