DP interview feedback (SAHP)

[YesIDoFeelBetter]

DP has been a SAHP for 4 years. He has been since ds was 4wks old and I returned to full time work. He quit his job to facilitate me doing this so that we would be better off long term. I had no maternity as was self employed but for stability returned to paid employment after the birth. We have 3dc.

The reality was that I still 'ran' the house for a good while as I was able to work a couple of days from home each week so he saw me as 'there' if that makes sense? I ended up travelling into work on my work at home days after the first 18mths to try to break this cycle.
We were having (unusual for us) rows about stupid little things like the dishwasher. All bills, paperwork, child related stuff (dr/plays/trips/dinner money/etc) I still do now as stepping back and letting him find his way led to missed appointments and non payments and such over the six months that he was doing these.

Now it is time to get a job (as agreed) as ds starts school in September. He was not enthralled by this idea but we filled in applications and he had an interview last week. He didn't get the job but when his feedback email came through it said that he was 'not enthusiastic enough about working at and seemed disengaged with the interview process'.

AIBU to be a bit livid that he is trying to renege on our deal by not being the charming, well educated and lovely self at interview so as to avoid going back to work or should I cut him some slack (and pick up the slack myself) while he re-acclimatises into the job market?

The job was in an area where he has numerous qualifications, in a place he said he 'always wanted to work' and not full time.

We talked (last year) about whether he wanted to start retraining to do something different but he was adamant that this was what he wanted and enjoyed. All the applications have been for very similar roles.

He did have a motion to set up his own company doing something similar but the thought of lots paperwork put him off.

*notion

I'm sorry, op, but he still sounds lazy to me! Working isn't optional! Imagine if you also didn't want to work - who'd pay the bills then? Sounds like he's got used to a cushy deal being at home with one four year old (I have a four year old, that's a sweet deal! Her younger brother is much more time consuming!). He has loads of downtime if he has his mornings free - honestly? I think he's playing you.

OP after reading your updates I don't think that you are being unreasonable at all. He needs to pull his finger out.

i don't think yabu, 24 hours a week with the age of your DC sounds like a nice life for him, and it's not like you were pushing him to work in McDonalds if it was what he wanted. I'd be struggling a bit to understand why he couldn't muster more enthusiasm.