AIBU to be upset with my MIL for using one of my photos as her FB profile without asking?

[NinaMama]

I send my family and my husband's regular photo updates of our kids. I am not friends with my MIL on FB but she has just sent me a friend request after taking a tender picture of my 3 kids and putting it as her profile picture without asking. Am fuming and I'm sure DH will not see the issue so can't bring it up with him. I've sent my MIL an email asking her to change it and offering to take one of her with the kids when she visits in a few weeks. AIBU to be so upset?

Complete overreaction, calm down ffs, your poor MIL you sound like hard work

What's a 'tender' picture anyway?

Poor MIL, your DH must be so embarrassed. No wonder you didn't want to tell him.

It's a picture, if so tender and precious why did she have it in the first place.

Steak is tender. Pictures not so much. You are being incredibly unreasonable and this seems to be less about the picture/social media and much more about your poor MIL. It sounds like you really don't like her. Not nice.

So more accurately :

"I don't like MIL but she likes my kids."

Unless your kids are naked in that pic, it makes no sense that you're happy for her to have another photo of them as her profile pic, but just not that one.

Seems very petty.

I just want to know what a tender picture is....

My own mum takes pics that I send her of DS, crops DP or me out and captions it to give the impression that she was physically there with DS and took the picture (when in fact she hardly sees DS despite me trying to arrange for us to meet up and she's always 'busy') now that annoys me. A lot.

But when she shares pics I've sent her or posted myself without the weird pretending she was there thing, it doesn't bother me

Hey what?? You sound like a control freak who simply does not like her MIL.
And you know your DH will not see it as an issue.. Because its NOT an issue.

You sound a bit unhinged to be honest, you are making a big deal out of nothing. Do you always behave like this?

Words fail me. Are you looking for a reason to dislike her even more than you clearly do? Regardless I'm sure someone who also hates their MIL will soon be along to validate you and rile you up even more against her by telling you how completely out of order she is.

So what's the AIBU then? That she used a photo you took rather than one she took? Or the fact that she used a photo of your DCs as a profile pic and therefore, the entire world has access to that photo? Because that's what would piss me off and I would be demanding she take it down. I don't post pics on FB of DC but even people who do and who have privacy settings etc may not want the photos as a cover photo / profile pic to maintain some privacy.

Unless you have issues with pictures of your children being on fb then you are being completely unreasonable.

Yabvu

If you said you don't want photos of your DV on fb at all I could respect that but you're happy for them to be in her photo but just not "your" photo??! Get a fucking grip!

I am struggling to think of any of my FB friends who have GC, who don't have a profile pic that features the GC.

I understand that you're upset. Some people feel very strongly that they don't want pics of their DC on social media. However if you have been sending pics to your MIL and you haven't asked her NOT to share them on FB, and given that you've offered to give her a different pic of the DC to use then YABU. I am also struggling to understand the problem that you have with her using this particular pic - you know that you can't 'vet' what she chooses to put on her page, don't you?

Completely ridiculous. I'd understand if it's that you just don't want any photos of them on social media but the fact you're happy for her to have a different photo shows you just want to make an issue with her. Poor woman.

Nina do you post pictures of your children on FB? If so, YABU, if not, YANBU.

The source of the picture is irrelevant if there are pictures of your children on social media anyway.

Agree totally with insancerre. You're just being possessive and ridiculous.

In fact, all of these I-don't-like-MIL-for-any-valid-reason-and-I-will-have-control threads should be banished into a cauldron somewhere where you can all froth and plot their downfall with like-minded creatures, together. Urgh.

Pull yourself together

Fuming? Really? Why? And yes, from what you've said YABU.

I wouldn't post a pic of anyone else as my profile pic without checking they were OK with it. If kids I'd check with parents. I think having pictures of your kids or grandkids as YOUR profile pic is a bit cutesie but loads of people don't.

How did she get the picture?
Did she take it - it's hers.
Did you give it to her? It's hers.
Did you put it on the internet? It's everyones.

Being unreasonable yes.
Being batshit crazy - oh yes.

What in gods name is a tender photo - that seems to be the reason you are fuming yes?
You would happily take a different photo of your MIL with her grandkids that she can use.
I don't think anyone here can comment on if you are right or wrong when none of us know what you mean by "tender"

Why are upset? My MIL's profile pic is of my son and his cousin (so her grandson and granddaughter). I don't see the issue.

Aaahh, poor MIL! I bet she was really chuffed with the picture and so proud to show it off, and now you've shot her down in flames! Such a silly thing to get worked up about, especially when you may have hurt her feelings (I hate the word 'tender' - makes me think of sunburn or meat)