So, DH is and always has been verbally abusive, aggressive and angry all the time. He is also quite lazy and selfish. He has poor impulse control. I suspect some form of adhd, personality disorder and childhood trauma. We have been married a long time and have DC. Everyone will no doubt tell me to LTB which I am feeling that I want to do. After having kept the family unit together for so long, I just don't know if I can go on any more. My love for him is almost depleted, as I feel so victimised and alone. He doesn't do much to help with house and kids and moans about anything he does do. He is constantly bickering with me and older DS, is grumpy and miserable. The tension is awful.
We had a big row recently after he lost his temper with teen DS and shouted and swore at him in a fit of rage, making toddler DS very scared. I feel I have done a crap job at protecting DC from this. We talked about him leaving but no decision was made. He was not in a good place mentally after this convo.
Anyway, DH agreed to go to gp and was referred to anger management therapy. The course will last several months and he is willing to try it.
My dilemma is, should I act on my feelings now and suggest we separate, but that would risk him chucking in the therapy before it has begun because he won't see the point. He needs to go to it to sort out his head, and to be a better person and father, regardless of whether we are still together. I worry about him having unsupervised access to little DS if he doesn't get his anger under control.
Even if he can get through his mental issues and anger problems with therapy, my head tells me he will still be lazy and selfish. I feel like a single parent a lot of the time, so know I could cope without him. I do still love him, just not the same way.