What perfectly acceptable things that make you unreasonably angry?

[BrotherBeer]

Every morning DH asks me to check over his face for random missed shaving bits and blemishes. Then when I tell him he's fine, he says 'Are you sure?'. Just look in the fucking mirror you dick.

I speak to my mum everyday on the phone. She always asks me what we're having for tea. I tell her then she tells me whether she likes that particular meal or not (usually not). I'm not inviting her round so why do I care if she likes my tea or not?

I'm an unreasonable person.

When your BT broadband goes down so you phone BT and press a thousand buttons to hear a voice telling you that you can get answers to your problems by visiting 'our website'. If I had fucking broadband and could visit your fucking website I wouldn't be hanging on to this fucking phone line for fucking hours on end! 👿

when you settle down to watch some rubbish on tv to RELAX and then DH gets the Sky controller to check the planner, the scheduled recordings, what needs to be deleted, then onto catch up tv to see if that needs recording, then moaning about only having 50% space. WTF

'I've got your back'.

Really? Well I'd like you to return it to me.

Snotty toddlers, especially the ones with dried green snot encrusted above their top lip.
People on public transport/taxi drivers etc who just don't seem to know when you'd just like a quiet journey and not chatter away at me incessantly. It's as if they don't get that my bored face and limited chatter might be a clue...

Whistling
Chewing gum
Yappy dogs going on and on
Loud breathing
Snoring
Thud of bass from a distance

I'm ridiculously intolerant. A selection of things that wind me up that shouldn't:

• The sight of DP fast asleep while I get up in the night to bfeed DS.
• DP's breathing (far too fucking loud) and sneezing (likewise)
• Being too hot. I loathe warm weather.
• When winter isn't cold enough. It needs to consistently be below 8c for me to consider it chilly enough. Last few winters have been a balmy 13c. Fucking RAGE.
• Anything "clean eating". Bollocks.
• People who faff about. JUST FUCKING GET ON WITH IT.
• The fact I haven't put my clean laundry away. The fact my drawers are in a mess. The fact I'm messy.

People spelling the word 'tired' as 'tierd'

Wind chimes.

No they are not nice and relaxing, they are noise pollution.

Smug, cheery songs by Olly Murs or even worse any performance by Jason Derulo and his choice of footwear. Desperate performances, dressed like pantomime dames by Little Mix.

The increasing use of the C word. It's everywhere and very offensive.

Every single person being interviewed says, "That's a very good question".
People with growly voices.
People being interviewed whose accents are incomprehensible.

I feel guilty for this one, because my son adores the bloody stuff, but Lego.

Stepping on it in bare feet. Excruciating.

Tidying it away.

Having to hoover every day because otherwise, aforementioned tidying involves plucking cat hairs/sand/unidentifiable foodstuff from said Lego.

My son expecting me to separate blocks with ease, whereas in reality, I end up ripping off a nail/swearing in front of him/ sweating profusely.

The tragic realisation that I am clearly not the creative type and am unable to build anything more challenging than a basic cube 'house'

Mini-figures. Creepy little jaundiced bastards.

Yes, wind chimes! Very irritating and can't even be switched off.

'Date night with the Hubby'.

Fuck. Off.

People who say 'badboy' when referring to an inanimate object.

Drying my hair.

Oh yes to date 'night'. Same goes for 'me time'. People who post photos of a meal they're about to eat on Facebook.

Ice cubes being clinked in a drink
(The drink is straight out of the ducking fridge it doesn't need to be colder)!)
Dh leaving things round the house because he teeters on the edge of being a hoarder Throwit or put it away I don't fucking care!!
Kids bickering they act like it is a sport. They often have half time and chat nicely for five minutes before the secret silent whistle sounds the second half.
Mum being sneidy with her remarks. Ooh don't think I've ever seen your ironing pile so low. Well done. Patronising!!!
God I could go on but I should meditate before going to sleep or else I will be up all night (really works incase any of you have insomnia)

Hattie. My sister actually uttered the phrase 'bad boy' this very afternoon - 'Check out this bad boy' she said, while showing me some schmancy tin opener. Tin opener! Does said tin opener have tats, drive without a license and can take me a grotty dive bar to watch his mother mud-wrestle while we drink sambuca, snort coke and have sex in the car park? Then said tin-opener is NOT a bad boy (Lorelei briefly wonders where that particular fantasy scenario came from and moves on with her life)

D LIST celebs who release keep fit videos. Wait all keep fit videos. Who does them?

People writing "defiantly" instead of "definitely" and "gawjuss" instead of "gorgeous". And "little man" for a boy.

People who don't use the words 'to the' when saying what they are doing. 'I'm going gym' or 'I'm going cinema'.

Mentioned before but overuse of the word 'literally'. 'I literally died laughing' (I wish you had).

Mac and cheese. For the love of God, WHY? We've been happily calling it macaroni cheese for the past fuck knows how long, why is it now mac and cocking cheese?

My OH for being off work sick at the same time as I am. OK, so I passed my germs on to him but fucking hell stop moaning, get out my face and for the love of god stop waking me up and then calling me moody when I don't welcome him with open arms. And no, you're not sicker than me. I'm pregnant and we all know that's the fucking trump card so stop fucking whining and go back to work.

And yes to 'date night'. Especially when used by childless couples.

Date night I always think so you got a babysitter and going out for your tea 😊

Date night I always think so you got a babysitter and going out for your tea 😊

The word journey used in the wrong context boils my piss... No you have not been on a journey you just went on the xfactor.

I hate the word artisan....artisan pizza artisan beer! It's all just so wanky and pretentious.

I hate it when I'm too warm in bed.