What perfectly acceptable things that make you unreasonably angry?

[BrotherBeer]

Every morning DH asks me to check over his face for random missed shaving bits and blemishes. Then when I tell him he's fine, he says 'Are you sure?'. Just look in the fucking mirror you dick.

I speak to my mum everyday on the phone. She always asks me what we're having for tea. I tell her then she tells me whether she likes that particular meal or not (usually not). I'm not inviting her round so why do I care if she likes my tea or not?

I'm an unreasonable person.

People who offer you "a cheeky glass of wine"".

DP has a mechanical keyboard that lights up and is all fancy. I hate using it so much, the keys are too high, it's awkward to type on and the lights are so distracting! He lives it obviously, I want to smash it in the bin.

Oh ffs *loves.
My inability to proof read posts before posting!

My DP always tells me about his dreams.

I DO NOT CARE

He always starts off with 'I had a really weird dream last night' He then waits expectantly for me to make some noise of Interest (hmm etc), I NEVER DO, he then tells me about his really boring dreams.

Dh tells me how he slept every day for 24 years not 1 jot do i care how he slept

People over 21 wearing labels.

There is NOTHING duller than listening to people's dreams.

I don't like my neighbours being out in the garden when I am out there. I know it's completely unreasonable but they piss me off with their loud talking or screaming kids ruining my peace and quiet!

I need to move to a field....

Two of the newsreaders on radio 2

When I hear their voices I actually get angry.

Katherine cracknell sounds like she's just out of bed with a hangover. I want to cry when I hear her

And justeeeeeen greeeeeeen. It's Police not PAlice. I want to smash something

Both I'm sure very acceptable to others but not to me

Oh yes, TutanKarDashian, my dh does that too but without waiting for me to make any noise at all. "I had this dream last night, it started off like a normal dream..." and he's off. For about 15 minutes, explaining all the minutiae, setting the scene blah blah blah. Then he'll puzzle about the dream, in what way it was totally different from any of his other dreams (NO, it really isn't), and then the reasons why he no longer has this theme or that theme (well, actually, you do). If I were to actually involve myself in this then a) the conversation would take an hour (I know, that's why I don't do it any more) and b) anything I said would be totally wrong, prove I had no understanding of anything, and was generally unsatisfactory. So he witters about these boring bloody repetitive dreams for 15 minutes, and when he's finished I say " how odd" and change the subject.

EVERY BLOODY DREAM IS THE SAME.

I am laughing at the dream thing because yes, there is nothing duller than hearing about other people's dreams. Even dream analysis bores the pants off me.

However, when you've had a really really vivid dream you just can't help relating it to someone. Anyone.

headinhands People over 21 wearing labels.

Do you mean like lanyards, name badges, that sort of thing?

Apologies to entire nation in advance, but I hate the way people, especially studio audiences, clap along to music. At a pantomine it's almost tolerable (and I've joined in and despised myself ), because audience participation is encouraged.

But TV shows where the audience start clapping along at the slightest hint of music make me irrationally angry. Are people not capable of watching and enjoying without having to join in?

STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT you bunch of simpleton performing seals.

Hahaha, oh, I do so hate the clapper-alongers! The fools on Strictly do it all the time.

I was at a Christy Moore gig once, and he asked the audience to pack in the clapping along. "You're completely out of time and it's really off-putting".

I also really hate the clapping along to music thing! It's SO very irritating and ruins my enjoyment of whatever performance is ongoing. I want to smash their stupid hands with a hammer just to make it stop.

I will also add singing along at gigs, I know it's enjoyable to do, hell I love to do it too but hearing some tone deaf twat bleating away in your ear instead of the actual performer you have paid to see is beyond rage inducing.

The worst being the twot of a woman who RUINED seeing NIN perform Hurt with her particularly shitty warbling along. Wanted to punch her in the throat!

Oh goody, other clapping-along haters!

Derelict The fools on Strictly do it all the time.
Perhaps they should all be put in stocks, or whatever the hand equivalent is. I would love to see that.

DerelictMyBalls those who use those Facebook names without GOOD REASON are in room 101 - granted! :)

People who feel the need to comment on my family size. Shut the fuck up and mind your own business! Yes, we have a tv. No, I'm not a glutten for punishment. No, I'm not aiming for a football team. Yes, dc4 was planned. No, I'm not mad. Yes, I know what contraception is.

The way dh holds his sandwiches and pokes about checking food I'm cooking.

Small portions of food.

pooky DH putting on the big light rather than the little lights in the living room.

Ooh yes. Is it biological? Men seem to do this, or they'll walk into a lovely softly lit living room and say "It's dark in here!" and switch on a floodlight.

I'll add any kind of interior layout/decor favour by the above men. Sticking sofas in front of beautiful fireplaces etc. And anyone who puts furniture in weird places and claims it's for "more living space". What is "living space?" If I'm in the living room I'm on the sofa, not rolling around in the empty space in the middle of the floor. (No DC yet!)

Those vile pictures you get on spammy links on news websites that pretend to be articles, outbrain, taboola etc. They make my stomach turn because they are so gross.

Heart FM promotions annoy me so much. Had radio playing in my old place of work all the time... used to drive me mad.

People who put 'full time mummy' as their place of work on Facebook.

People who put their hands on metal bannisters (like you get in tube stations) and they are wearing rings on their fingers, it makes the worst noise.

People sneezing loudly, especially if they say they can't help it.

The character of Phoebe's boyfriend Mike in 'Friends'.

The name of the brand Jojomamanbebe, I have no idea why it annoys me so much, it makes me especially angry when I see it abbreviated to Jojo.

Having to put in my postcode and then select my address from a dropdown list, it seems to waste a lot of time and also I always feel like they don't trust me to input my address right.

I can't believe how much stuff I am so angry about

All of pooh2's!

I live abroad so don't have to put up with the Heart FM one but trust you instinctively and just know it would irritate me were I ever to hear it.

My husband also loves to tell me about his dreams. Luckily, he does so in the morning and perhaps hasn't realised, or doesn't care, that I can't hear him over the running water in the shower (I'm in the shower; he's standing in a daze somewhere between the bedroom and bathroom, lost in the details of his dream).

"Having to put in my postcode and then select my address from a dropdown list, it seems to waste a lot of time and also I always feel like they don't trust me to input my address right"

As someone who sells online, believe me that a lot of people can't get their own address right. I've had addresses with no house name or number, no post town - just 123 my street and no post code, post codes that don't match the post town - if you give an address in East London it's not going to be a postcode beginning with NR, is it... I'll let the lack of capital letters go for the time being!

People sending "invites" at work. Cold rage.

People sending "invites" at work. Cold rage.

Surely these are useful for updating your calendar?