What perfectly acceptable things that make you unreasonably angry?

[BrotherBeer]

Every morning DH asks me to check over his face for random missed shaving bits and blemishes. Then when I tell him he's fine, he says 'Are you sure?'. Just look in the fucking mirror you dick.

I speak to my mum everyday on the phone. She always asks me what we're having for tea. I tell her then she tells me whether she likes that particular meal or not (usually not). I'm not inviting her round so why do I care if she likes my tea or not?

I'm an unreasonable person.

And a other, but I may get lynched....

When people say,
"10 sleeps till....."

Fuck off, if you have something planned on Friday and its Monday its not 4 sleeps you tit, its just 4 days.

But that also reminds me of people you work with when they bang on about how they're on holiday soon and say things like,
"We'll do that next week.... Oh but I won't be here will I? I'll be on me Holidays" with a big smug grin.

Just go away, i don't care that you're going to Lanzafuckinggrotty.

Calling Henman Hill, Murray Mount. It's not and never will be Murray Mount.

That gets me cross for the opposite reason. Murray has actually won the thing twice but the home counties types who go to Wimbledon still favour a well-bred serial loser.

Saggy that self consciously infantile language drives me absolutely potty too, it is so twee and affected. It isn't 'a school night,' you are an adult who works for a living.

People starting sentences with 'No but yeah'
DH leaving dirty dishes in the sink right BESIDE the fecking dishwasher.
DH asking me a question and tagging no on the end if it 'Are you not coming to watch this, no'? 😡
DH saying 'I've been thinking'......... No don't fucking think, when you do it usually costs us hundreds if not thousands of pounds.
DH sneezing which for some reason gives me instant rage.
DH asking 'where is my.......'? I don't fucking know, I don't wear your clothes or shoes or use you're shit. You're not 3 fucking years old.
Come to think of it........ My DH. 😡😤

Shop assistants who, for some utterly inexplicable reason, say: 'That's £20 altogether then, please', when you've bought one thing . You haven't added anything up! There's no 'altogether'!!! Arrgh.

People that say 'thanking you'

Twats!!!

Going to have agree about women called Kat and Claire. Universally awful. I'd also like to add men called Shaun or Andy.

*your!!

When on programmes like Escape to the Country Nicki Chapman or whoever goes off and faffs around being worthy with local historians or the local antfarm society or whatever. Just get back to the house porn already.

And on the subject of property programmes, when Tarquin and Caro want a naice big kitchen 'for entertaining' then moan that the football-pitch sized kitchen they are being shown is 'a little cosy.'

The bastard fly buzzing round my head.

I HATE HATE HATE cutesy children in adverts.

There is one on spotify for our local bus company with some little shit lisping on about how now there is more money for sweetth or some such rubbish. Just get a grown up to do the voice over and I might consider using your product.

Also, any kind of advert for nappies or baby products has a similar mimsy voice going on about "little tummies" It's like all women who have given birth have had their brain removed along the placenta.

DH thinking pony is the name for a baby horse, and treating me like a fool for calling them foals

Also a woman called Kat once secretly arranged for all my work colleagues to see Jools Holland and deliberately left me out, so I'm agreeing with the Kat thing

While we're on the subject of property shows...

On Homes Abroad or whatever it's called, when the couple have a budget of £70,000 and the presenter shows them a property for £80,000 but then says "but I'm reliably informed that the seller will consider an offer of £70,000". Said more than once, said at every break advert, said at the end when summing up. Shut up!

Parents from the nearby primary school taking up all the parking spaces at dd's pre school meaning I have to park in the road

Crumbs.
Left on the table or counter top.
Just clean them up fgs.

The expression 'it stands to reason' especially as it is usually shorthand for I don't actually have any evidence to back this claim up.

Birth announcements in the newspaper which mention 'baby boy' or 'baby girl.'
If my memory serves me, all my children were babies when they were born.
Oh, and Alison Hammond. Natch.

People that don't park in spaces in Morrisons car park, Just ditch their car by the kerb. EVEN WHEN THERE ARE FREE SPACES

Kids that walk up the slopey bit of the slide.

The 'not-nice-Claire' phenomenon. This is also an observation that I have made.

I've got to stop adding these ... That advert for bum wipes that asks the kids how clean they feel yuk. I have to turn it off., making me feel queasy just writing it down. Who cares how clean other ep people bums feel?

Newsreaders (except Moira Stewart who doesn't do it because she is a proper newsreader and not a try-hard trendy twat) who RANDOMly put EMphasis on just SOME syllables, presumably in an EFFORT to sound more INteresting. Makes me want to gnaw through a branch.

One more then I'm done. People who park right next to you when there are loads of empty spaces. I've had some do this so close a cant get out the door. if you hear of mad woman losing it in a car park it will be me having a John Cleese moment with the car next to me .

People who self-righteously don't order chips and then 'just' help themselves to mine.
Oh, and Fiona Bruce. Natch.

Pressure washers. Why do you need to wash your walls and roof? At 7am on a Sunday ffs

Can I play
Can I have one

I don't know if you can but you MAY

Ice cream vans!
The noisy fuckers switch on their fucking music right in front of the house and either wake up one of the DC or the older one starts asking for ice cream! Hate them!!