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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Unhappy beach toddler

64 replies

TiramisuIsMyFriend · 18/07/2016 10:47

More of a wwyd I guess.

DP and I are on holiday. It's our last holiday before our first baby comes. We took ourselves off to what we thought was a fairly remote, "grown up" part of a small island, staying in an adults only spa hotel with a private beach.

For one reason or another, it hasn't been quite as advertised. Not least because the hotel's "private beach" is just a small strip next to a public beach and another hitel's beach, both of which are crowded with families. Which is totally fine and doesn't bother me at all. The thing that has bothered me is the family who have been sitting all day for the past 2 days in the seats right next to the hotel's strip of beach. They have 4 kids. One of them is a little older but there are 2 young boys who run around shouting, throwing sand, running dripping wet up the private part of beach, etc. again...kids will be kids and I'm just tuning it out. But the littlest child, a girl of about 18 months I think, is clearly hating it. She has, with no exaggeration, screamed, screeched and whined all day for the past 2 days. She is too hot, she doesn't like the sand, she doesn't want to go in the sea and screams whenever they try to make her (which is about 1ce an hour!!) and generally has been putting her lungs to great use the entire time.

So, the WWYD part.

OP posts:

minipie · 18/07/2016 13:11

What DeathStare said.

What exactly do you propose parents should do if they take the whole family on a beach holiday and it turns out the toddler is too hot and hates beaches (though the rest of the family loves it)?

Should one of the parents stay indoors with the toddler at all times? Toddler wouldn't enjoy that either, she would be bored. Should one parent go to the pool with the toddler (assuming there even is one)? She would still be hot at the pool and maybe she doesn't like going in the pool water either. And not much fun for the parents to be apart and not see their other DC all holiday.

And maybe she is whingeing because she is teething. Or because she doesn't sleep or eat well. Or something else that can't be fixed.

So what exactly do you think they should do? I'm sure they would be grateful for a solution which doesn't exist.

ApostrophesMatter · 18/07/2016 13:26

So what exactly do you think they should do? I'm sure they would be grateful for a solution

That's exactly what the OP is about.

What would you do in their place? The OP doesn't know so she's asking here. Why aren't people reading the OP properly?

Devilishpyjamas · 18/07/2016 13:32

I don't know what I'd do - too many variables.

If it was my lot then going insude because one was whinging would lead to the others whinging. We have always split up as one of ours is severely disabled (nor have we gone on holidays thinking about it) but splitting up isn't much fun for anyone really.

I'd make sure she had a uv tent & encourage her to chill maybe and try things she might enjoy. But with out being the actual person juggling the kids who knows?

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 18/07/2016 13:33

Indeed apostrophe. It's not even a very long thread. Would be easy to read it through, at least the OP's posts.

Foolscapped · 18/07/2016 13:38

Why waste your last child-free holiday analysing the choices of a large family you don't know, and wondering what you'd do in a similar situation -- a situation which is barely a dot on your horizon yet, since it'll probably be a decade before you're trying to balance the preferences of three children plus a toddler.

This.

You can't predict how a small child will be in unfamiliar conditions. Friends of mine took their three year old on her first foreign holiday (along with two older siblings) a few summers back, and she hated everything - she hated the sand, she refused to get into the pool or the sea, she went completely mad if someone tried to put sunscreen on her etc etc. It was a completely miserable holiday for both parents, as all she wanted to do was stay in their hotel room with her tablet and watch videos, but there were four other people also on holiday, and the drew the line at one of them sitting in the hotel room with a cranky three year old. .

Sootica · 18/07/2016 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillSykesDog · 18/07/2016 13:50

She's a toddler. If one of her parents took her back to her room she'd probably whinge that she wanted to go back to the beach and that the hotel room was boring. If they had a day at the pool she'd probably complain she hated that and wanted to go to the beach. That's what toddlers do. Their sandwiches being cut into squares instead of triangles is a major personal trauma. There's probably not much they can do aside from wait for it to pass.

Graceymac · 18/07/2016 14:02

Personally I feel would feel sorry for the parents rather than judging them. It is not easy dealing with young children when you are away from home. This could well be you in 2-3 yrs. I have 3 Dcs and they have all gone through whingy phases when nothing is right for then and there is not much you can do. It is difficult sometimes to please everyone when you have several children. Perhaps the child is tired and a nap might help but other than that it is par for the course I am afraid as you will soon discover.

craftyoldhen · 18/07/2016 14:34

This was me earlier except I only have 2 children.

I left my DH and eldest child on the beach and brought the toddler back to the caravan because he was distraught. He cheered up as soon as we got back. He was just hot and sandy and tired.

It must be difficult with 4.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 18/07/2016 14:54

She's a toddler. If one of her parents took her back to her room she'd probably whinge that she wanted to go back to the beach and that the hotel room was boring

exactly!
You can't change plans on every whim of a toddler. You'ld never get to or stay anywhere some days!
Give them an orange ice lolly they wanted the pink one etc..

minipie · 18/07/2016 16:05

What would you do in their place? The OP doesn't know so she's asking here. Why aren't people reading the OP properly?

We are reading the OP properly. We're pointing out that the family can't really do anything different. Or they could, but it might well lead to an equally miserable toddler and much more miserable parents and siblings.

AlmaMartyr · 18/07/2016 16:13

I've read the whole thread and agree with Death stare.

WWID? I don't know. DS is sometimes consistently grumpy - if we never did the things he wanted to do, we would have no fun ourselves (neither would DD) and we would be teaching him that he always gets his own way. OTOH, the little one might be genuinely upset. You just don't know, it's impossible to tell. As for the boys playing, children play on beaches. I probably wouldn't stop mine playing, although I would if I really thought they were disturbing others.

If I were you, I'd move somewhere else. Sorry your holiday isn't what you thought it would be, that's always terribly disappointing.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 18/07/2016 16:29

Oh good grief. Did someone actually throw the 'your poor children' remark at me because I referred to my (bloody lovely) child as a turd?

Really?

Get a fucking grip. I called him a turd on the internet. Clearly this means you should pity my children because by referring to him as a turd I'm showing my true colours as a shit mother.

Ffs

ApostrophesMatter · 18/07/2016 17:08

yeh, lilac, hair shirt and self flagellation for you. How dare you have a sense of humour?

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