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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About people who check into hospitals on Facebook?

204 replies

MintyChapstick · 17/07/2016 13:28

Does anyone else think this is the most attention seeking thing ever? I see it a lot statuses saying things like 'ouch' and a tag to th A and E department of our local hospital? Cue lots of 'u OK Hun?' type messages, sometimes they respond, sometimes they don't. I've got one on my feed this morning, 'In admissions, nil by mouth' with a tag to the local hospital. Lots of comments asking what's wrong, no response but she's managed to share and like lots of other things since she's been admitted... Never mind though, she's got the attention she so desperately seems to crave Hmm

I know people are going to say that they can use Facebook as they please, but surely as well attention seeking sharing stuff like that will cause worry to family and friends who can see it and won't know what's wrong?

OP posts:
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 17/07/2016 14:36

It depends on the person checking in whether I mind it or not. If they're just after attention and are being dramatic, it irritates me and I ignore it.

The worst culprit used to be on my friends list. Every couple of days he'd be taking his primary school aged DS to A&E after various bumps, scrapes and knocks, checking in each time with comments like 'Lots of jam this time!', jam meaning blood. STOP CALLING IT FUCKING JAM, YOUR FACEBOOK IS NOT POPULATED BY TODDLERS.

ConfuciousSayWhat · 17/07/2016 14:37

I check in because my admissions tend to be in the smalls hours and I invariably have limited battery.

However I don't vaguebook. I say "admitted again due to x sorry for not calling/texting but battery almost dead. Call dh for further info"

ladylambkin · 17/07/2016 14:39

I was admitted to hospital at 2am on a Sunday morning. I was due to be working at 9am. I had WiFi however did not have a phone signal. Whilst I had WiFi I couldn't send messenger messages ... I could receive them fine. So yes I posted where I was, what ward I was on and also that I was getting treatment as it was only way I could think of letting everyone know where I was...I am a single parent and my kids were at their Dad's.

I do know what you mean though about the people who post then don't update leaving people worrying about them

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/07/2016 14:40

Agree with you, OP. If you get 'rushed in', you can notify one person by phone surely - and they can put the necessary arrangements in place to notify those who need to know.

I don't doubt that FB is useful as a 'keeping in touch with relatives and sharing photos thing' but this is just gratuitous attention-seeking and makes me cringe.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 17/07/2016 14:44

Agree with you, OP. If you get 'rushed in', you can notify one person by phone surely - and they can put the necessary arrangements in place to notify those who need to know

Okay, so you can contact everyone who needs to know, get your kids sorted etc without a status,
But it's not just about making arrangements, it's nice to get a bit of extra attention when you're poorly, also being in hospital often involves a lot of waiting about, as well as trying to drown out some of the stuff that's going on around you with other people on the ward/in a&e

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/07/2016 14:44

... and I'm referring to the vague-bookers, not those who have genuine friends and family there who would want to know.

BackforGood · 17/07/2016 14:44

YABU re letting people know, if you want to. It's an easy way of keeping in touch with quite a lot of people you'd not get round to ringing individually.

YANBU about the cryptic statuses though... a vague remark about how upset you are, hoping everyone will check up on you. I'm in the 'either tell people if you want to share, or don't tell people if you don't' camp - can't be doing with all the drama llama-ing

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/07/2016 14:47

Fair enough, Adulting, I don't feel that way. When I was in hospital last year, I asked husband to tell family and my office and that was that, I didn't want to talk to anybody, I felt so lousy and ill. Perhaps that makes a difference?

I'm always saying each to their own and I genuinely believe that to be the best approach - but whilst I might post a contrary opinion here, I wouldn't in RL.

I do understand that people get scared and lonely in hospital and if FB is normal touching base for them, that remains a comfort to them.

Discobabe · 17/07/2016 14:49

Yanbu. My dh did it when were in with our son. I was livid. One- because I then had family ringing me asking what was going on and panicking. Two - really? we're in hospital and you're on fucking fb?? Three -it's attention seeking twattishness a lot of the time and i include my dh in that 😁

NerrSnerr · 17/07/2016 14:49

It is the vague-booking that is annoying. I also don't feel the need to announce personal things as people need to know. When people have needed to know things (illness, bereavement etc) I will message one friend and ask them to contact whoever needs to know. Feels a bit arrogant to announce it on FB as people need to know.

MikeWasowski · 17/07/2016 14:52

user I used to be friends with someone like this!!! Munchausen-by-proxy "Sarah" is what she is now known as!!

VimFuego101 · 17/07/2016 14:53

It's the vaguebooking that's annoying - checking in without giving details. Nothing wrong with posting updates on a sick child or using it to give a mass update rather than responding to individual friends.

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 17/07/2016 14:53

I will message one friend and ask them to contact whoever needs to know

I don't have friend groups who all know each other. My friends are from all over

At least half of my closer friends wouldn't have a single number for any of my other friends.

I find in hospital it's so hard to sleep even when you need to most with all the noise and other goings on so a bit of distraction is welcome

Hereforthebeer · 17/07/2016 15:01

without any other information I think its really twatty, & attention seeking...

I ignore them and would never be one of the people who were clamouring to find out the next drip fed bit of info...

Without fail I have never ended up being unjustified in this. As anyone who's ever done it has never been seriously ill.... (if they were they'd probably have other focus' rather than desperately attention seeking on fb! If someone says where they are and why its totally different, as they are more genuinely informing people etc...

caju · 17/07/2016 15:06

People still use facebook??

Hereforthebeer · 17/07/2016 15:07

having said that the most annoying facebook posts are;

  • some kind of photo, followed by, #bestfamily in the world, amazing kids, the best children, the cleverest girl, #best husband etc etc etc

Why does anyone feel then need to say these things?.. then people 'like' them when they have their own children, family, husbands.. are they agreeing that the facebook poster has a better husband/family than them? What does 'like' mean?

RuskBaby · 17/07/2016 15:08

Definite attention seeking/annoying behaviour - I have an acquaintance that does this (regularly as hypochondriac) never responds when people ask what's wrong, constantly slates the NHS for being dreadful, has to wait ages blah blah blah. If he went less I'm sure it would help him get seen as he must walk through the door and be recognised immediately!

caju · 17/07/2016 15:10

I don't really understand getting annoyed at facebook, so yes in that sense I think YABU. If somebody on your feed annoys you, unfollow them and then you won't have to see it any more.

If even your close friends who you don't want to unfollow are annoying you, then just stop going on facebook!

peggyundercrackers · 17/07/2016 15:10

Facebook is a tool only for people wanting attention, who cares what you do or what your looking at or if your at lunch or if your scratching your arse or... Its yawn - really who cares...

sleeponeday · 17/07/2016 15:13

Ha. I once posted wanting sympathy when I was sent in to hospital for an emergency op. Said it was minor, but uncomfortable and would be out in a day or so, but wah, I hate hospitals.

I was vague to that level because I wanted the sympathy, but didn't think everyone needed to know my post-birth tears had developed into a very nasty abscess. Don't imagine many people wanted that level of detail about my septic arse either.

It's been my one vaguebooking event. Mea culpa, MNetters. Grin

Muskateersmummy · 17/07/2016 15:13

here I would like a status like that because in that moment my friend felt happy and proud of her lot in life. As her friend I would be happy she was in a good place.

e1y1 · 17/07/2016 15:14

Yes it's the worst.

It's right up there with a cryptic message about a situation and when people comment the response is " I don't want to talk about it" - well here's a thought, don't put nothing on FB then!

Then not as bad, but as equally as annoying - the one's who put a status up every 20 minutes and to make it worse, they hashtag (and usually over tag)!!!

"at the supermarket, getting delicious parsley for dinner, #healthkick #slim #beachbody #good2016 #lovinglife"

NickiFury · 17/07/2016 15:15

I am always on the side of let people post what they want but this does baffle me when it is a routine appointment such as a six monthly check up on a hip replacement or broken arm or something. There is no way I would want all my 200 "friends" to know about something like this or expect that they would need to - I would make a group for those that I want to know.

DownWithThisSortaThing · 17/07/2016 15:18

I don't really mind it with some people, I know some people who've broken their leg of whatever and put it on Facebook. It's when it's vague and they won't say what it is that annoys me. They'll write something like 'Sad feeling worried at XX hospital'
They'll get lots of people (who genuinely care/are worried) saying 'you ok?' And they just reply 'yes thanks'. Well what was the point in putting it on Facebook?! It just comes across attention seeking.
Same goes for twatty cryptic statuses like 'wow some people are so selfish Angry' or 'if people have got something to say they should say it to my face'
Loads of people then ask what's wrong and they reply 'I'll pm you' or 'nothing I'm alright thanks'

NickiFury · 17/07/2016 15:18

My recent Hmm update from a friend was "absolutely devastated and heart broken ". Cue loads of "you ok?" replies, then about five minutes later a lengthy photo album of her and her kid on holiday grinning away together NOT looking in the least big devastated or heart broken.

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