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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is friend's mum BU?

46 replies

Joolsy · 17/07/2016 08:04

Last night DD and friend made 12 cakes each at friend's house. DD texted me to say friend's mum will only let her take home a few of her cakes as they were her ingredients! AIBU to think she's being stingy/greedy? They would have cost about £1 to make

OP posts:
WellErrr · 17/07/2016 08:05

Yes she is but what can you do?

tofutti · 17/07/2016 08:07

Who does that?! Yes, she is greedy. I would pay it and never send DD back there.

DeathStare · 17/07/2016 08:08

I'd have given them half each. But it's really not a big deal either way.

Maybe they were actually awful and she's trying to spare you eating them without saying so? (I've done that once)

Original poster
Joolsy · 17/07/2016 08:09

No, she has form for charging for little things, like making DD pay for her own lunch!

OP posts:
BasinHaircut · 17/07/2016 08:09

That is just bizarre, but there is nowt as queer as folk!

QueenArseClangers · 17/07/2016 08:10

Unless your daughter is Queen Thistle from Ben and Holly then she's being a stingy bugger.

Arfarfanarf · 17/07/2016 15:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkheart5915 · 17/07/2016 15:42

Yes it's a bit tight of the other Mum I mean seriously woman it's a few cakes!

I'm not sure you can do anything, maybe you could spare a little time in the week or next weekend and tell DD your bake something nice with her?

Becky546 · 17/07/2016 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 17/07/2016 15:43

Oooh how mean can you get. I bet she's rolling in money, too.

StealthPolarBear · 17/07/2016 15:43

Ridiculous! !

Damselindestress · 17/07/2016 15:52

I'd be tempted to send a faux concerned head-tilty text to the friend's mum saying you had no idea they were struggling so much financially and did she want to talk about it? Also suggesting that you could stop the visits if they're such a hardship. I bet she is actually not struggling but just being stingy and that might show her how unusual her behaviour is. She is totally wrong to charge a child on a play date for food!

pictish · 17/07/2016 16:07

Yanbu - the stingy caaah.

ChicRock · 17/07/2016 16:09

Weird Confused bit if she has form then you can't be too surprised.

MargotLovedTom · 17/07/2016 16:15

Or you could go all out and text her to say 'thanks for baking the cakes with dd, how much do I owe you for the Dd's share of the ingredients used?'The imp in me would want to see if she replies with a breakdown of the costs and a polite request for the 12p for three cakes Wink.

CatNip2 · 17/07/2016 16:21

Yes it's tight but to be honest I am a bit funny about eating things that have been made in houses where I don't know how clean they are. So I would be glad she only brought a couple home as they didn't go to waste.

Sorry if that sounds awful.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 17/07/2016 16:26

"No, she has form for charging for little things, like making DD pay for her own lunch!"

Fuck's sake! Not only is she a grasping caaah, she's also extremely unkind. Who would do such a thing to a child?

Still, it makes things oh, so simple doesn't it? Child doesn't go there again.

LizzieMacQueen · 17/07/2016 16:27

How come they weren't all eaten last night?

I'm sure in a household of 4+ people 24 cakes could easily get eaten in the space of one day and night.

RedHareWithBlondeHair · 17/07/2016 16:28

catnip I really do agree with you - I'm always weary about 'home made' anything by people I don't generally know. That said it's really the principle of the issue at play here. What a stingy woman. I too would ask for an itemised bill for the flour, colouring etc etc.. Wink

diddl · 17/07/2016 16:30

I see she has form but is it really that bad?

My daughter sometimes makes stuff at friends houses with them but only brings a couple home for us.

Never occurred to me that we should get half tbh.

GrumpyOldBag · 17/07/2016 16:35

What diddl said.

LadyLayLay · 17/07/2016 16:37

I'd be tempted to send a faux concerned head-tilty text to the friend's mum saying you had no idea they were struggling so much financially and did she want to talk about it?

Probably what I do as well. What a weird woman.

Although TBF it probably wouldn't have occurred to me to bring home all 12 either. Maybe just one for each of family.

KissMyArse · 17/07/2016 16:39

When you say your daughter had to pay for her own lunch do you mean when they were out somewhere? If so then I don't think that's terrible. I always gave my children enough money to pay their own way in that situation.

If you mean she charged your daughter money for a meal at her home then that's way out of order.

The cake thing is a bit bizarre.

plimsolls · 17/07/2016 16:41

What diddl and grumpy said.

I'm surprised it came up with your daughter though. Did the mother initiate it or did your daughter say she was taking half home and then the mother said no? I can't really imagine how it was mentioned. Would be pretty odd or unreasonable of the mother to say, mid-bake, "Now, I'm only going to let you take three home because I paid for the ingredients". If she was responding to your daughter saying she was having half, maybe she was (wrongly, perhaps) teaching her a lesson about assumptions or manners or politeness. I'm assuming your daughter is old-ish if she's texting so perhaps the other mother thinks she's old enough to "learn" that.

WeirdAndPissedOff · 17/07/2016 16:43

I think it's because the friend's mum made a point of it?
I wouldn't bat an eyelid if less than half of the cakes were brought home, but if the parent stated we couldn't have half because she paid for the ingredients, I'd find it a little odd.

I guess she's within her right to do so, but still seems pretty stingy.