To want to act like a loon to put renters off next door ?(lighthearted )

[Doinmummy]

I heard someone knocking at the house next to us . It's empty and is to be rented out. I went out to tell them no one lives there and they said they're trying to get a viewing but the agents have arranged an open house that starts at 3 o'clock . This couple were on their way to Nottingham and couldn't wait til 3.

I said they could have a look round my house as the layout and room sizes are the same.

They are a lovely couple and I'd be happy to have them as neighbours. So what can I do to put the other viewers off ?

I was thinking of sitting outside with a bottle of gin wailing 'I miss you Fred , I'm sorry you died ' (Fred was the last tenant and I found him dead in the house )

Any other ideas ?

Bang on the door during the viewing, and tell them if they don't keep the noise down you're going to ring the council again.

Dressed like this..

Sadly I don't look too far off Nora Batty today !

Next lot are here . Oh no ! They've got kids

Go and ask if they can lend you a fiver or if they have a spare cig on them, whilst brandishing a can of special brew.

I think the term is 'Can ya borrow me a fiver ' Lurked

In all seriousness, I think Charlesroi wins.

Borrow and have they brung anything to drink wiv em.

should have had speaker rigged up outsid for anytime someone turns up then put on slipknot

A large family turned up and the father was SO loud . I turned DD's music on which may have been louder than acceptable - I couldn't tell as I was drilling at the time

Know anyone with a drone?
Or some boy racers who could park in your drive, revving their engines and playing bass heavy music.

A drone you say ? I like it