Visiting family aibu

[Deedeegonemad]

Visiting family, they are young and don't have children so the house is not in the slightest bit child proof.
Aibu to get annoyed at family member when said family member tells my dc no and don't do that. They are acting like normal toddlers running and climbing and wrestling it's what the dc do. It's not my dc fault that there are no toys to play with.

[ilovesooty]

I'm not sure this is worth engaging with any more. It will be interesting to see how the OP ratchets it up though.

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

Wow. You sound so obtuse to the point I'd wonder if you even know how to parent.

[trafalgargal]

Have you asked your brother why he doesn't come round to yours ? Might it be the sofa is really uncomfortable to sit on as/whilst the kids jump on it all the time ?

[Branleuse]

i think this is a reverse?

Although tbh, with spirited children who are a bit of a nightmare, its not rude to drive past. You just cant take them to certain places if theres nothing for them to do there and the hosts arent child friendly

[AndNowItsSeven]

Right so you have a free babysitter while you swim and you are still moaning.
Do you live near the Humber Bridge op?

[lljkk]

I thought maybe OP was saying the kids were in nursery while she swims. Crytpic posts don't help.

[OrangeSquashTallGlass]

OP: AIBU?
Everyone in the world: Yes.
OP: No I'm not.

[SuperFlyHigh]

AndNow exactly what I was supposed to say.

OP is obviously one of those nightmare parents with 'spirited' angels.

Your poor brother OP sounds like he has a far better handle on parenting and basic manners than you do and I'm guessing he's not even a parent yet.

[AyeAmarok]

Leave your DC in nursery for an extra hour after your swim and go and visit your brother then, if you don't want to parent them while you're there?

[AyeAmarok]

It sounds like he'd really be OK with not seeing them.

[2rebecca]

I think the kids are left at a presumably private nursery whilst the OP swims. That sounds fair enough. I don't understand why it's rude to drive past someone's house. Different if they live in the middle of nowhere and are always begging you to visit and might get huffy if they discovered you'd been in the area and not contacted them to ask to visit, but it sounds as though the relative isn't that bothered.

[trafalgargal]

Presumably a gym or leisure centre creche.
I'd probably pay for an extra hour and pop in without them.

[Birdsgottafly]

Does your relative want to see you once a week?

You need to come up with a strategy to keep them occupied, but it is your responsibility.

It depends on their age. I used to take portable play sets. Mine liked drawing. There are garden games for toddlers, as well.

I used to play 'shop' in my Nans, with her tinned stuff.

It might be considered lazy parenting, but is there a DVD, that you could put on, or something in your phone, to at least break the time up.

This stage doesn't last long.

[coconutpie]

You are being ridiculous. Pack a small backpack for each DC with a few toys.

[pudcat]

I would think your relative is hoping every Saturday that you do just drive past.

[ThatsMyStapler]

i'd just go home, i dont think they're enjoying you deigning to go and see them

[MrsKoala]

This is why i wont visit anybody. Because i can't stop my children running, climbing and breaking things. I only visit my parents and i find that stressful enough - They have a puppy and therefore we cannot take any toys as she snatches them and chews them.

The only way i could stop my children behaving like this is to hold them in a straight jacket hold while they kicked and screamed and i can't to that with 2 and i'm 6 months pregnant. So i just don't put myself in that situation if i don't have to.

[Farfromtheusual]

UABVVU and you know it.

Firstly take control of your own children. I have been on the receiving end in this situation when BIL and SIL bring DN round - they don't tell her not to throw her leaking bottle of blackcurrant pop everywhere or put her grotty hands all over my cream soda or carpet. Or not to go rummaging through everything she can get her hands on and throwing it around the living room. And quite frankly, it is just plain rude. You should respect other people's homes and just because you gave them the sofa it doesn't give your kids the right to jump all over it.

Secondly, a few toys do not take up that much space in the car, and just for the odd visit, is it really that big a deal? They should not be expected to have toys, let you keep them there or keep your kids entertained.

[maisiejones]

Your children sound lovely MrsKoala. 🙄

[MrsKoala]

It's these kinds of threads that make me realise how odd and different my dc are. Do children really care about toys if they are in an exciting different environment? No type of toy makes any kinds of difference to mine (especially something like colouring!), they only time it does is if it's something they can turn into a weapon and then smash against the walls. Anything else is not going to hold their attention more than jumping or climbing on furniture.

[itsalldyingout]

I'm loving these replies. I wish I knew you all in person. I wish all the parents I know would adopt your common-sense approach to parenting.

WIBU if I printed them out and plastered them all over (including my front door for my OH's family)? My town is endemic with lazy, entitled parents like the OP who seem intent on dragging bringing up the next generation of thugs angels.

[GrumpyMcGrumpFace]

MrsK if you can't stop your children running, climbing and breaking things, wtf are the teachers going to do with them at school? Sympathies if they have SN, of course.

OP, I'm afraid you're going to have to face up to your responsibilities. They're your children, and you have to deal with their behaviour. It is not anyone else's problem.

[Cosmo111]

[MollyTwo]

This is why i wont visit anybody.

MrsKoala good on you for being considerate to other people.