To NOT be disappointed that DD isn't going to university?

[pillows123]

I know this is an odd question, but my friends are a little as to why I'm not disappointed. DD actually wants to be a forewoman, which I'm very proud of.

Just curious, would you be disappointed??

yanbu. If DD could do her chosen career without a degree then she wouldn't be going either. She wants to be a paramedic but there are no options for learning through the NHS anymore.

I think being a firefighter is a great career, she will have a great time.

Is firefighting a job that's going to be around much longer? There aren't many fires these days.

Part of that is to do with the education they do. They attend RTAs, terrorist attacks, shit loads of stuff.

We've seen from the cuts that there aren't going to be as many jobs, but the entire profession isn't going to disappear.

YANBU - you are doing the right thing, and encouraging and supporting your dd in her ambitions.

But the dramatic reduction in fires does mean that there is likely to be a vastly reduced role for firefighters going forward. As this government research paper suggests - www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/200092/FINAL_Facing_the_Future__3_md.pdf. Honestly, with reduction in public spending I'm not sure id be encouraging a young person into this as a career path - it's something that's ripe to go voluntary, as in many parts of the USA already. Also is it a job you can do past 45ish? What happens then?

Wonderful, thanks all. I'm really pleased with these answers, as I've had a couple "you should be encouraging her to go to uni", I think people just assume you're screwed in this day and age without a degree.

She did her A-Levels, failed Maths the first year, retook it alongside her second year maths (tough year) and got D, C, D. I'm really proud of that, because I know she wasn't keen but tried, so there is only one uni she could have gone to, and was about to! Then really thought about it and thought no... I'll do what I want to do. So it's handy that's the career she wants as they provide all the training and it doesn't really matter what she got.

Well done to all your DC too.

Of course firefighters will still be around

JustHappy said what I was goi g to say. University is about far more than job prospects. For those who are academically inclined, studying can be of huge important even if doesn't increase your income.

My uni years were fantastic and I'm so pleased I did them. Have they helped in my career, not in the slightest!

But why shouldn't I encourage her? It's her ambition and she has been volunteering at the museum that's for it, so she has a real passion there

Yanbu I suppose but personally I'd encourage my dc to go of at all possible and suitable.

As pp have said, a degree is expected in many fields and the discipline may not matter.

It's also much harder to find the time and money later in life to go to university. It's an obstacle if you don't have one. My friend's Dh is a financial adviser and wanted to work overseas but decent jobs required a degree so he couldn't go.

Young people have more energy and can fit in hobbies and part time work around studies and they are used to living cheaply.

I teach at a university so I am biased!

There are all sorts of skills that you get from being a student and while you can get them elsewhere, I think a degree is an efficient use of time and money.

I don't know anyone who thinks their degree was a waste of time even if they chose the wrong subject.

I don't think uni was a life changing experience for me. I enjoyed being away from home, but I am not really in touch with anyone from those days, most of the time I was there I was made to feel like a chav who didn't fit in with the middle class, privately educated types. I never had a uni romance because (according to one 'friend') I had curly hair, dressed wrong and lived in a council house And since then I've spent 20 years not mentioning which uni I went to because once the people i work with, or mix with, even people I dated, know they do the face.

If DS by not going avoids all that shit, then so much the better. He's already pretty independent and able to fend for himself so I don't think he'll miss out too much by not being away from home at 18.

YANBU.

I left school at 16, for a number of reasons including that I hated the school environment, despite loving learning. I don't regret that decision at all.

I went to university aged 28 after hitting a career ceiling - if I'd been in a different sort of career, this might not have happened and I'd have been perfectly happy without a degree. As it is, I'm getting so much more out of university than I would have if I'd gone at 18 because of parental coercion/it being the 'right' thing to do.

Your DD has a clear idea about what she wants to do, which puts her ahead of many other young people. I'd be proud of her, too!

hmm...so my gut reaction was that university is a great life experience and that this is more important than either how much you can or can't ear with or without a degree or how much the debt is....but actually the issue of the debt means that I don't see my undergrad students having a wonderful life experience any more. They are all stressed and anxious and depressed. Possible because of the debt issue, but more likely because of the outrageous emphasis on passing tests over enjoying learning that they bring with them to uni from school.

To be honest uni has now become a financial transaction first and foremost which is the worst outcome of the changes to funding ...far worse than the debt itself imho.

OP you are doing absolutely the right thing, and so is your dd. She doesn't want to go to university and she doesn't need to. She has career ambitions, and you are doing everything you can to support her in her future chosen vocation. What more could any young person want?

There's nothing stopping her from accessing such things as the Open University should she wish to do so in the future.

Also is it a job you can do past 45ish? What happens then?

Well, just like the hundreds of thousands of other people in professions that have an age 'shelf life', I'd imagine she'd just go on to follow a different career path.

With 20+ years of practical life experience & a varied skill set she'll be perfectly placed to go and pursue a degree or otherwise at that point in life.

At 45, you've a whole other 20 year career left in you until retirement.

I think it's great she has decided against it and completely understand now the debt has risen so much. I know someone about to start a degree in a low paid career area in a second rate uni, I don't think it's the right thing to do at all, I'm surprised her parents aren't discouraging her as working would give her more insight and time to consider what she really wants to do.

On the other hand, I did a degree in a subject I never expected to use, but I enjoyed it, it was a great experience and so many doors are opened by having a good degree from a well regarded university. I'm about to start a new career after being a SAHM and it's an automatic for many options. Although I only have £10k debt rather than £40k and it's a very low interest rate - so no point paying off with savings.

Yanbu. If you want to get into certain professions then you need the relevant degree. For more vocational careers training on the job can be far more beneficial. dd hasn't a clue what she wanted to do job wise when she left school. Ended up with pointless degree and then did pgce. If she had waited, not gone straight to uni she could have done an education degree and not wasted time and money on useless qualification she didn't even enjoy studying for.

You must be really proud of her. Everyone loves firefighters.

I don't know anyone who thinks their degree was a waste of time even if they chose the wrong subject
You dont know me, but mine was a waste of time and I wish I never went.

My degree was a bloody waste of time. I wanted to do physics and my parents forced me to do medicine. I did not want to be a doctor and the pressure of illegal shifts ended up in me being sectioned and then sacked due to disability discrimination.

My degree was a waste of time job-wise but I met DH through it, so it was worth it in a way.

DS1 is at university now and I think it was the right choice for him - he's very academic, but not very sociable and really lacked life skills when he first went - he already seems to have learnt a lot. DS2 will be going in the autumn (almost certainly, he got an unconditional offer) and I'm not convinced he will get as much out of it or necessarily stick it out for the full course. I was talking to DH about this only this morning. He doesn't know all that much about his subject and I think he has fallen in love with the idea of it based on a very small amount of information, without really appreciating the amount of work that will go into it - he has form for struggling to stay on top of homework and revision. I won't be unhappy if he does succeed, but I've made up my mind I won't hold it against him at all if he decides it's not for him.

If one of them had had a very clear idea of what they wanted to do and it didn't involve getting a degree, I would have supported them all the way - except maybe if they wanted to join the forces, when I would have been quite sad about it but I suppose I would have let them make the decision.

If she doesn't want to go to uni and has a plan, then you are definitely not being unreasonable. You need to want to go to uni and know what you want to get out of uni to really make the most of it.

I think that you are not being unreasonable as you are supportive. I wanted to go to university but my parents refused to let me, in the end I did a degree in my thirties but it was hard getting it done and paying for it.

Good for your DD. Be very proud of her, and ignore any doomsayers.

Firefighter sounds like a great career choice, without piling up debt.

I went to uni back in the days when it was still free. I never really used my degree though. I wouldn't do it today though. The debt factor just wouldn't be worthwhile.

My DD1 is just about to start her final year at Warwick Uni. Whilst she has enjoyed university life in general, she does feel very stressed about her debt levels, which have built up despite part time jobs she has had to help make ends meet.

She sometimes says she wishes she had considered other options more seriously. I made noises about it occasionally, but at the grammar school she went to it was drummed into them throughout that going to a top uni was the be all and end all. Debt and other options were barely given lip service. She now looks back on that and feels the school did a real number on them all.

Good luck to your DD. I hope her training goes well and she enjoys it.

While I don't think a degree is necessarily a sensible choice for everyone, has she got a job offer from the Fire Service? It isn't a career with a lot of vacancies and I think it would be much harder to get a job offer with them than to get a university place or an alternative job.

If she does have a job offer with the Fire Service, I would definitely encourage her to take it, rather than do a degree if that's what she wants.