To NOT be disappointed that DD isn't going to university?

[pillows123]

I know this is an odd question, but my friends are a little as to why I'm not disappointed. DD actually wants to be a forewoman, which I'm very proud of.

Just curious, would you be disappointed??

Not at all - she knows what she wants to do and is choosing the quickest route to do it! I would be very proud too.

I left school at 16 having done my O levels (old glimmer ) and went straight to work in a bank.

I went to uni aged 39 to do a medical related degree - there's plenty of time for youngsters to decide on what they want to do.

baby can your DH not do his degree now? Many employers will allow time and even funding.

I have a degree (good university, proper subject blah, blah) and I utterly hated it. Just wasn't for me but I felt I had to continue once I'd committed.

I now (20 odd yrs later) do a completely unrelated job which I had to pay to do professional qualifications for. Wish I'd done it from the age of 18 TBH.

My sister, 4th of 4 siblings, didn't go to uni. Us older 3 all did. She thought she was being rebellious, but no one really cared. She was very upset!!!

Despite having a couple of postgrad qualifications, I am not going to push my children into uni if they are not completely certain that's what they want. It's a huge, huge investment of money and time to get the wrong outcome.

DS also wants to be a firefighter. I'm more than happy to support that.

YANBU and your DD is absolutely right. Having seenone child through university, now that we're out the other side I'll be far more pleased if the next one has a firm idea of what he wants to do than if he goes on to uni merely because it's the next step.

Wow! Good for her. I'd be bursting with pride.
I think the idea of doing your a-levels and then playing degree roulette is silly. How many 18 year olds can honestly say that they've got a clue what they want to do with their lives?

YANBU, a firefighter is pretty cool job and something to be proud of IMO. Just ignore the busybodies! Good Luck to her in her new career

I think, given that it costs so much now, that she's making a sensible choice.

Back in the day of grants and so on, going to University was a good idea regardless, because you had more choice if your chosen path fell through for whatever reason (for e.g., my ex BIL wanted to be a fireman but broke his ankle and put on heaps of weight, then lost the fitness and couldn't regain it because his ankle was too weak - accidents like that mean you need other choices - he became a bus driver instead). But with the high costs and debt, this is no longer the case - only go if you need to.

YANBU.

I have a law degree from Cambridge, first in my (very working class) family to get a degree.

DS1 is looking at a degree apprenticeship in the accountancy/ finance area. I always thought he'd go to uni, I'd love him to have that experience, but I'm not prepared to fund it and he doesn't want to saddle himself with £40k of debt before he's done a day's work. So he's not going. People expect him to, because I went, but in my day it was free! (I got a full grant).

Also I know many people, my bf included, who have no degree and earn more than I do.

Yanbu. Agree with many pp's who have said its far more important to know what you want to do nowadays and go for it! I went to university over 20 years ago and whilst I loved the whole experience, its very different now in terms of costs. I came out with a degree but ive never used it as such! My dh alternatively did an apprenticeship when he was 17 and now has very good job doing what he enjoys!
Good luck to your dd

YANBU

DS1 didn't go to uni. He had a place at Loughborough, got 3 As in his A levels, but the night before results day he declared he wasn't going. It was his dream to join the army so he said he was going to do that instead.

He got into the army the following July, because he had to appeal his medical, and I've never seen him happier. It's like he's found the missing piece to his puzzle.

He's 21 now, absolutely flying in his career, drives a BMW and is on his way to buying his first house. We couldn't be more proud.

DS2 is at uni because he's doing a nursing degree, so he had to go.

Your DD has a career as a firefighter as her goal so there is no dilemma. And something to be proud of. Doesn't matter about other people being surprised or shocked she isn't going to uni.
If you and your DD are not disappointed, that's all that matters.

Ds didn't go to uni he'd had enough of education by then and went to work in Local Government whilst he thought about what he wanted to do. Eight years later he's still in Local Government with a Degree and a Masters funded by his employer, a management role and a £40k salary. It was right for him especially as he had no idea at eighteen what he wanted to do. He would have done a Maths degree at uni.
Dd left school at eighteen, went to work in banking, hated it, switched to Local Government and has just been accepted to have a degree funded as well so hopes to follow her brother's path but in a different area.

Of course YANBU, and what a great ambition for her to have, good luck to her :)

(Lots of training through the fire service, too)

I have a female firefighter friend who has done a part time degree and is now doing a part time PhD and the fire service are sponsoring her to do this.
I do not want my son to go to university because of the fees. I think it is better for him to work his way up in a job. My uncle is a millionaire and started out as an accounts clerk, before becoming a chartered accountant and then the director of several companies.

Got a degree from a good university and absolutely loved the opportunity to study a subject i adored in depth. So did DH. It was a fabulous life-changing experience.
We're both absolutely committed to our kids having the opportunity to throw themselves wholeheartedly into something they love and want to do.
That might be university or it might be something else. I have to say my heart sinks a little for all those being pushed off to study just so they can x job and make y amount of money.

YANBU. I'd be in a better financial position and further along if i hadn't have been to university, although it was a great experience and j probably wouldn't have moved far from home without it.

Is firefighting a job that's going to be around much longer? There aren't many fires these days.

I agree with the responses above. In fact I'd go as far to discourage any idea of a degree with my children unless they were adamant they knew what they wanted to do from an early age and it needed a degree. At 11, 8 and 4 there are no real strong ideas.

I went to Uni at 18 and looking back now I wish I hadn't gone, it was a mistake for me. I dont use my degree and would love to do a degree now in something completely different. But because Ive got student loans relating to my first degree Im unable to get more loans to pay for a degree now.

If your DD decides in future that she wants a change of career and needs to go to Uni then she can later without the problem of already having a degree which was for the wrong choice.

YANBU.
I went to university for just over a year straight from school, then made the decision in 2nd year that I just didn't want to do it anymore.
I left & joined the forces, absolutely no regrets.
Now at aged 41, I've had a 20 yr career which I loved & am now going back to university because I really want to now.

Well done to your daughter for knowing her own mind & not just doing something because it's 'the done thing'.
I hope my boys are exactly the same when they leave school - university or not doesn't matter at all; if it's the right path then great, if it's not, that's equally great.

Best of luck to her in her new career!

Is firefighting a job that's going to be around much longer? There aren't many fires these days.

Firefighters don't just fight fires, just like soldiers don't just go to war!

I went when university education was free and was the first person in my family to do so. I didn't need a degree for my job but I did it to prove to myself I could. I got a first, I'm a nurse and it's never really opened any doors for me. But the whole uni environment got me moving in completely different circles and it was where I met my husband who now earns very good money. In the long run I suppose I've benefitted not from doing the degree itself, although psychologically it was rewarding, but the experience.

YANBU! I went to uni when it was considerably cheaper, to do a very specialist degree that on the surface, has almost nothing in common with what I do now.

I had an amazing 3 years, met some great people and learned some good skills. I think at ~£4k is was just about worth it. There's no way in heck I'd recommend anyone do it for over 7x that amount!