To nearly be having a breakdown over this ?

[Embarrassment2016]

I have BDD. It's very, very difficult.

I avoid photos. I hate how I look in them and if someone has a camera I hide/get anxious/cry. It's a phobia and I do see someone about this but it's a long drawn out process

Recently dsis had a photo shoot (she is confident and beautiful) and asked me to go along when she saw her photos, which I did. Now I had NO idea but her reaction (with me in the background) was filmed :(
As soon as I found out the next day I panicked as I don't want to be in photos or a video

I w said I don't want this footage used anywhere no matter was dsis or the photographer want as if I didn't agreeo be filmed then they can't use it can they?
Really though do I have any say? It's making me so anxious :(

OP, I think you are handling this with incredibly dignity. Your sister put you in a horrible position.

I sympathize. I would tell people I believed that the camera would steal my soul, if I thought there was any chance they'd buy it and not take pictures of me.

Massive sympathy and I'd be furious if your sister did it on purpose.

Actually. I'm thinking it's most peculiar to
A. Have professional photos taken of yourself (not family groups)
B. Go to a 'viewing'. And invite your proper phobic sister along too, knowing her issues with the whole photo/camera thing.
C. Have yourself 'secretly' filmed so you have a record of your reaction.

Very weird.

And then to post the 'secret' film on FB so all your friends can see your 'secret' reaction to the photos.

Really weird.

It was one of those transformation type photo shoots. I had also been approached about the same thing a few months ago and had to explain why I could not so the photographer was very aware how much I would have objected had I known

The big reveal is part of it all, to see the images and be amazed how good you look and according to the photographer dsis had expressed interest to see her own reaction....but he had also said the camera was on by mistake
I guess I'll never know. It's just upsetting I was unwittingly put in a position like that

Makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

OP, this could be an excellent opportunity to advance your therapy.

Speculating about your sister's motives won't help you in the here and now - it's done. It would be amazing if you could sit with the anxiety and experience it eventually subsiding, as it will - experience that nothing terrible happens at all when you are on film.

When are you next seeing your therapist? It would be good to get a session asap to talk this through and work on it.

I was like you OP, there is not a lot of pictures of me for about 10 years of my life. A way you could get around this, is taking pictures of yourself, only you can see them. Taking loads until I found one picture I though was OK helped loads. I can't call myself ugly but I do feel like that at time, more so when I had the phobia. I can now take part in pictures without diving for cover or being the one taking the pictures. Facing the demon on your own terms. The beauty is we can delete pictures we don't like these days 😉

I have a session weekly so I will be going over all of this then

I just have this spiralling fear of the photo/video being awful and that people realise and say and then I will be so upset and then it all gets out of hand in my mind.

I seem to spend my life avoiding cameras and mirrors and anything social as I have all these anxieties surrounding myself and also things that I think are wrong with me that are just made up in my head like if I get a spot I think I have acne, if I put on a tiny bit of weight I think I'm obese, etc etc everything is exaggerated negatively

OP I can only imagine how awful it must be for you right now, but I think if you could try and move on to actively trying to make yourself and your thoughts move comfortable it would really help.
What strategies have you and your therapist discussed? Can you work on some of those now?
It's really crap of your sister but tbf to her unless she has experienced what you are feeling right now she doesn't really get the enormity of it all.

OP as the footage is now already with your sister I don't see what the benefit would be if you had a word with him now, I think it's your sister that you should speak to about any future use of the video.

Just a thought but maybe your sister could attend one session of therapy with you?

Posters are saying you are holding your family back and some posters are saying you aren't. Neither of these are correct because it's your phobia/ mental health that is holding you back. I think it's brilliant that you are trying to do something about it.
My own phobia (of something that normally appears on walls) scares me shirtless, hardly anyone understands and they take the piss which doesn't help but I found that telling people to fuck off and meaning it worked wonders.

Lol shirtless?? SHITLESS!!!!