I know I shouldn't but I feel snubbed?

[Onthedowns]

DSIL is getting son christened asked DH to be godfather but not me. We have been together 20 years, marriages 10, other godparents are DSILs partners sister and a friend who she sees once a month. I know it's her choice completely respect that but AIBU to feel a little hurt? Will people ask me why I am not?

I dint think it's pointless depends if you think god parents are a big deal or just get christened for sake of it!

I agree that asking family who will already be involved in the child's life is a bit pointless - surely, apart from whatever religious involvement individual parents/godparents attach to the role, the idea is to semi-formally involve some other adults in your child's life in a special way?

I would Rsther Have family than someone who I have know for 5 mins. I think the fact I helped her a lot during pregnancy and after birth and other things throughout her life I might of been asked

You're seeing this as some kind of gratitude competition, when it isn't. Some people see it as an obligation. We certainly end up shelling out a fair bit of cash on godchildren's birthdays and Christmases.

You don't understand it's her choice though. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking and making little digs about the friend for 5 minutes. You aren't a unit, you are 2 individual people who are married. You aren't conjoined.

If SIL had any children and asked DH to be GF, it wouldn't bother me at all that she didn't ask me. And vice versa, DH wouldn't expect to be asked by my siblings just because we have been together for 16 years. I think your SIL has made sensible choices.

I do understand it's her choice, don't agree that a friend who has been on the scene a short time not religious is a good choice but like you say not mine!

Tbh I think the fact that you are even judging her on her choice is not nice. At all. Perhaps she picks up on this vibe from you in different matters and this has influenced her choice.

I don't understand what practical difference you think it will make to you and the child's lives if you are her godmother when you are already her aunt. The friend will be an additional person in the child's life. You are already there.
You do seem to be making it all about you and you feeling your sister in law isn't grateful enough and should make you godmother as a reward and not all about the child