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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do people still run the risk of toddlers and garden ponds?

171 replies

JackandDiane · 14/07/2016 20:55

We all know it is not a risk worth taking? Parents, grandparents, whoever
WHY?

OP posts:
HeadDreamer · 15/07/2016 12:46

Oh and the bleach is left on the floor next to the toilets.

JsOtherHalf · 15/07/2016 14:35

I saw this company mentioned on another thread a few days ago:

www.pondsafety.com

Why do people still run the risk of toddlers and garden ponds?
SoupDragon · 15/07/2016 14:45

You only ever hear of the terribly sad accidents, not the thousands and thousands of families who never have a problem.

HardleyWorthit · 15/07/2016 14:51

My parents changed their pond to a raised one with a sort of iron covering thing on the top when they started looking after our kids.

When my sis was a toddler I remember her falling in our garden pond, I just stood there rooted to the spot in terror until my mum noticed and dragged her out by the scruff of her neck.

It's prob a lot to do with why they are so hot on pond safety now.

jellyhead · 15/07/2016 14:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldenhandshake · 15/07/2016 16:29

I fell in to a pond in our rented house aged 8, it was a shared garden, I was trying to catch a little frog and leant right over. It is the most terrifying memory, not being able to breathe or see anything other than green murkiness. I could not have told you which way was up quite frankly, if my elder sister hadn't been there and managed to haul me out, I'd have died, and at age 8 I was a brilliantly strong swimmer, i'd already done my 100 metres etc.

Swimming doesn't come into it with a pond. My clothes, drenched with water weighed me down, it was so, so dark, I was just flailing about and anything I touched was slimy and of no use. I cannot stress enough how terrifying an experience it is.

ProudAS · 15/07/2016 16:35

Garden ponds need to be covered for the protection of the fish even if there are no children around. The only difference is that children may need a slightly stronger cover.

HopeClearwater · 15/07/2016 17:58

You only ever hear of the terribly sad accidents, not the thousands and thousands of families who never have a problem.

So? That's a reason to ignore the very real and significant risk?

SoupDragon · 15/07/2016 18:03

So? That's a reason to ignore the very real and significant risk?

Confused

Obviously it forms part of your personal risk assessment. Like you do when you assess anything with a risk attached like let your child ride a bike, go swimming, fly in a plane, walk to/from school alone....

exLtEveDallas · 15/07/2016 18:14

Managed risk.

My parents have a pond, have had it since I was a kid, so probably more than 40 years. 5 kids, 18 grandchildren, 2 g grandchildren. The only 'thing' to fall in was the MuttDog as a pup (she had never seen water and tried to run across it Grin)

We had a 3 ft deep swimming pool in the garden when DD was 2, and a 4 ft deep one when we moved to Cyprus - not fenced, no accidents, We've got a DD that could float as a baby (trained) and swim by the time she was 3.

We (as parents) saw the risk and worked to manage it. Some parents won't, so yeah, get rid of the ponds. But lots don't need to.

JapaneseSlipper · 15/07/2016 22:37

"Like this response to my post.

I also think that in reality, people like to have those locked french doors open every once in a while.

You don't know my living circumstances."

HeadDreamer that's the second time you've quoted my response. Did you get cross because I didn't answer right away? Well here goes - the fact that you have a garden, but never use it, puts you in a minority. I find it ... odd that you think there are loads of people have ponds, but their children literally never get near them, so of course they don't need to be covered up. I mean, really? If you don't want to use your garden, fine, but at least appreciate that most people do use theirs?!

I am aware that there are people without gardens or indeed back doors. I am one of them.

I was also speaking in general terms. Of course I don't know your living circumstances. No need to start taking things personally.

Moving on - this thread is reminding me that I fell into a relative's pond as a child. I was walking on the ice and it cracked and I fell in, then simply could not scrabble back out (I was about 4). I was rescued and all was well.

Years later, I saw the pond again - now empty - and was stunned to see how small and shallow it was. I remembered it as bottomless and large enough to "skate" on. In reality, it was smaller than a bathtub. It would have been very easy for things to have ended differently.

JapaneseSlipper · 15/07/2016 22:44

"Swimming doesn't come into it with a pond. My clothes, drenched with water weighed me down, it was so, so dark, I was just flailing about and anything I touched was slimy and of no use."

Exactly this.

Peggyundercrackers the thing is that stairs and ponds are not really comparable either. One is fairly necessary, one is not (though yes ponds are good for wildlife, education etc). Also, it's not just the child's home that is being discussed here. As many have said on here, it's so often at a relative's place, where there is an element of novelty for the child. You can't therefore rely on them having "grown up with it" or, as another poster said, rely on their ability to swim, either (see above).

ReginaBlitz · 16/07/2016 10:32

What is the issue if you are SUPERVISING your kids.

gotthemoononastick · 16/07/2016 10:53

Toddlers are quick as lightning.
We filled in a large Koi pond,because years ago, a friend lost a little boy whilst reading a book right next to him at a swimming pool.She did not even hear the splash.
I do not want the tension of anyone having to supervise constantly while visiting.
I would crawl over broken glass every night to drain that pond if it somehow got filled again every day like in an evil fairy tale.
We could not live with it if such an accident had to happen.
Please do not send children to these dangerous homes.

NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 10:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JapaneseSlipper · 16/07/2016 12:48

"What is the issue if you are SUPERVISING your kids."

Do you think that any of the families who have suffered a drowning, intended to neglect their children? Or do you think they were accidents?

NavyandWhite · 16/07/2016 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scaredycat3000 · 16/07/2016 13:16

Well you learn something new every day. There are large groups of society who can't grasp the concept of reducing unnecessary risk because their parenting ability cancels out the known risk of their pond, dog, whatever. I think we should put them up for the Darwin award, sadly it's DC who pay the price for adults arrogance.

TheCrumpettyTree · 16/07/2016 13:32

As a HCP I can tell you now that family members always thought someone else was watching them.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/07/2016 13:38

There are large groups of society that don't understand that it is important for children to be exposed to controlled risk for all sorts of reasons.

Different parents will draw the line at different things based on their own judgement of risk. DD(6) has a bath alone, rides a bike without stabilisers, whittles with a proper knife, cooks marshmallows in fires (and has 3 ponds in the garden). However, I am very nervous about letting her on a trampoline...

SolidGoldBrass · 16/07/2016 13:41

Do you self-righteous whinyarses refuse to take your kids to the beach, as well? There's lots of water they could drown in there.

Pond accidents are pretty rare. Cars are the biggest risk to children (and adults) - but suggest to mundanes that they get rid of their cars and use public transport instead and and they all start pooing with rage and losing their minds.

But stupid people love to hit on some minor risk that inovles other people's freedom of choice and different opinions, and start shouting about it. At the root of it is this superstition that if you are a 'good' parent and make plenty of sacrifices, and urge others to do the same, your kids will live and thrive. It also helps you ignore the children suffering due to circumstances beyond your control, like the austerity policies keeping so many of them constantly hungry and cold...

SoupDragon · 16/07/2016 13:44

If there was no pond in the first place there would be zero risk of drowning

Not true.

A child can drown in less than 2 inches of water. Best ban jumping in puddles.

Sallystyle · 16/07/2016 13:45

We have a pond but mine are older now.

Thankfully no other children can get in because to get into my back garden you have to go through my living room where the back door is or have a key for the gate. It's also impossible to climb over anything to get in.

I would never have had a pond when they were younger though or if my garden wasn't completely secure from any wandering neighbour's children.

SolidGoldBrass · 16/07/2016 13:50

You could, if you are a really miserable, boring, thoroughly unimaginative person, argue that practically anything is and 'unnecessary' risk, and raise your children in a dull, confined but very 'safe' atmosphere.

And when they finally realise there's a world outside and run away from you, they will have next to no coping skills - and they will hate you for putting them through such paralysingly dull childhood.

AlMinzerAndHisPyramidOfDogs · 16/07/2016 13:55

yep - they are lethal.
i know of a case where a family were holding a big celebration for a kid's holy communion. in a house with a garden, marquee and a pond.
a toddler died there that day, having fallen into the pond and drowned.
nobody realised what had happened until it was too late.

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