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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that nobody can come with me tomorrow.

46 replies

50shadesofknackered · 14/07/2016 15:02

I'm having an endoscopy tomorrow, I called yesterday to book the appointment and was a offered a cancellation for tomorrow so took it as next one is at the end of August. I appreciate it is short notice and it is only to assess for hernia but aibu to be really upset that nobody is coming with me. My dh is under a lot of stress at work and taking the day of could result in a massive black mark against him, my mum has tickets booked for a show in London so is going early tomorrow and my dad is working . I'll have been sedated so can't drive home etc. My dh is dropping me off and my dad is collecting me with my niece who I am looking after for the weekend. I'm just upset that nobody thinks i'm important enough to make the effort for. I'm sure I probably am being unreasonable but if it was the other way around I would be there with them without question. (and have been) I feel really cold towards all of them although I do rationally see the reasons why they can't be there. Aibu to be so upset? I'm pretty nervous about it and I would love someone to be there for me but nobody will be. Someone tell me to get a grip! I feel ridiculous but I can't shake the feeling that nobody gives a shit!

OP posts:
QueenArseClangers · 14/07/2016 15:09

Is your niece your sibling's child or your DH? Just wondering if you'll get enough support looking after her this weekend if you're feeling wonky.
You prob are being a tad unreasonable because, as you say, it's short notice so family had other commitments and you are being taken/picked up. You're not BU to be a bit scared and worried about the procedure, that's completely natural.
Hope it goes well tomorrow and you feel looked after. If you want to make yourself feel better have a look at the thread where the OP had to drag her toddler to her transvaginal scan, in pain, cos her bitch of a MIL had shopping plans.
Flowers

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/07/2016 15:11

You're upset about whatever health issue means you have to have an endoscopy, nervous bout the procedure itself, caught on the hop by the short notice so not had time to steel yourself for it,and just all round feeling vulnerable. Maybe you're transferring that upset onto them, because it's easier to deal with that way rather than have swirling nebulous upset that is hard to put into words?

ChicRock · 14/07/2016 15:12

In the nicest possible way, yes YABU. Someone is dropping you off, someone is collecting you, you'll be fine. Flowers

ilovesooty · 14/07/2016 15:13

Sorry I think you are BU. You're being dropped off and collected so people are making an effort. I don't see why it matters whether anyone is there for the actual procedure.

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 14/07/2016 15:14

Thank you both. I think you're right in that it's a shock to be having it so quickly although I'll be pleased to get it over with. My niece is my brothers daughter, again i arranged to have her weeks ago. My husband will look after me when I get home and he'll be with me all weekend and she isn't very little so it will be fine. Right... I'm going to woman up!

OP posts:
NavyandWhite · 14/07/2016 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

familyfarm · 14/07/2016 15:15

You'll be more than fine. It's just an endoscopy. Only thing is you can't drive back. I would've taken a taxi or bus back on my own and would've been completely fine

Finola1step · 14/07/2016 15:16

Yes, it would have been nice but you are being dropped off and collected. I've accompanied mum and dad for endoscopies and it is all straightforward.

But the question is, why are you looking after your dn when afterwards?

Adreamisawish · 14/07/2016 15:16

Yanbu, I can totally appreciate why you would want someone there. I've had similar procedures and it's nice to know there's someone waiting for you. Flowers

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 14/07/2016 15:16

I do understand and it's a simple procedure so rationally I know I am being unreasonable. Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Finola1step · 14/07/2016 15:16

Opps... Random "when"

BerylMeeps · 14/07/2016 15:18

YABU I'm afraid.... All they would be doing anyway is sitting in the waiting room for a few hours. You go in, and you go in alone. You are put in recovery alone. You do not have someone to hold your hand, other than the dr's and nurses.

My husband was in for four hours having a full scope. I'm glad I didn't have to wait about, I went home and picked him up later.

NavyandWhite · 14/07/2016 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 14/07/2016 15:18

Having my niece is a prearranged thing and my dB and his wife have plans. My husband will be there there to help and she's 13 so no trouble really

OP posts:
gamerchick · 14/07/2016 15:19

Do you have to have the sedation? I found the thought of one terrifying but the actual thing wasn't that bad. No sedation means you can go home straight away.

ExConstance · 14/07/2016 15:19

My DH had an endoscopy and colonoscopy in the same session. Apart from being as high as a kite during the journey home, going on and on about how beautiful everything was he was absoloutley fine. The next day he was completely back to normal. YANBU - just apprehensive about the procedure.

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 14/07/2016 15:19

Never had one before, I am nervous so I think I've just got carried away. I actually feel better that you all think aibu.

OP posts:
milliemolliemou · 14/07/2016 15:19

OK OP: get a grip.
No one can come in with you to the endoscopy anyway. You're being picked up and dropped off. You will be in good hands. While waiting take a good book or something to do and make sure you and DH get the house sorted for your return (water, food, comfy bed). Make sure your hospital notes include any one to contact if you're more than especially affected by anaesthesia. I'd be more worried about looking after your niece (you don't say age) if you're feeling rocky over the weekend.

Original poster
50shadesofknackered · 14/07/2016 15:20

Sorry, that I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
TopiaryBun · 14/07/2016 15:20

Sorry you have to have a procedure. I do think you are being unreasonable, though, presumably from worry? Your DH and DF are dropping you and picking you up. Is it really normal in your circle to have someone drop a trip or a day's work at no notice to stay during a routine medical procedure, or am I misunderstanding you? It's not something I have ever expected, mostly because friends or family, if involved, have had to step in to look after my son.

familyfarm · 14/07/2016 15:20

I've had one before, so can tell you you'll be more than fine. Looking after niece shouldn't be an issue either. Best of luck.

NavyandWhite · 14/07/2016 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

familyfarm · 14/07/2016 15:22

You don't need to apologise OP, you didn't know what to expect!

When I went for an endoscopy, I didn't realise I was going to be sedated, so when I came out I was a bit baffled why I couldn't remember anything. I don't know how I missed that!

gamerchick · 14/07/2016 15:24

No you're not being unreasonable, I totally understand where you're coming from the thought of it is scary. I promise it's not as bad as it is in your head.

welshweasel · 14/07/2016 15:26

You'll be absolutely fine. As previous posters have said, most people don't have anyone stay with them in the department, they just get dropped off and picked up after. For a gastroscope I'd advise against sedation anyway, it's such a quick procedure that the sedation tends to kick in just as we are finishing! The vast majority of my patients have it done without sedation and manage brilliantly, it only takes a few minutes. If you don't have sedation you can literally walk straight out afterwards, no waiting around at all and you'll feel fine for the rest of the day rather than groggy. If you happen to be on my list tomorrow afternoon I promise I'll be really nice Grin