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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waterpark holiday & DS' friend can't swim

166 replies

LittleMissSandy · 14/07/2016 10:15

DS(10) is an only child and so for our holiday this year we invited a friend of his to come along at our own expense.

We're going to an all inclusive water park in Spain, great slides, lots of water etc so I just naturally assumed that the friend could swim, until this morning at the gates when friend's Mum asked if he'd be able to wear arm bands on the water slides Confused

I was so taken aback, I said I wasn't sure & that I would double check. Their doesn't actually seem to be anything about it on the website, does anyone know if children can wear arm bands on large water slides? Their are lots of small rides that I'm sure they could go on but the whole point of inviting a friend was so that they could spend the days together and go on all the rides.

We leave on Saturday, so far too late to do anything now.

OP posts:
ParadiseCity · 15/07/2016 11:15

Should start a tangent thread? It is interesting.

Original poster
LittleMissSandy · 15/07/2016 11:19

Agree ParadiseCity, it's an interesting point, DS tends to get invited as a surrogate sibling (first time I've ever seen that word used in that manner) and although most parents are lovely, he's certainly come back from an invite and vowed never to go with certain families again as he was pretty much sidelined thought the day.

OP posts:
dolkapots · 15/07/2016 11:25

Accepting an invitation to a water park when you can't swim is like accepting an invitation to a camping holiday when you're scared of sleeping in a tent.

I disagree. My dd is 11 and cannot swim (and is unlikely to ever be able to due to gross motor issues) We go to water parks, she goes on slides (some of them really quite big) and the majority of them end in shallow water. There are always a few that non-swimmers are not permitted on due to the depth of the water.

[Tangent cont Smile ] My friend definitely had the problem, the point being that she didn't realize it though. Her child's intense desire for company skewed her thinking at times, and this actually passed down to her child who thought that playmates not doing what you want all of the time is bullying Hmm but that is tangent no 2. When the OP posted

the whole point of inviting a friend was so that they could spend the days together and go on all the rides.

it made me concerned that she was heading for potential disappointment. If someone invited me to a water park I wouldn't assume that I had to go on all of the rides/slides. Even if my child was invited to a water park I wouldn't expect them to go on rides/slides that they felt uncomfortable on. Just because someone is a good swimmer does does mean that they don't have other issues that might make them not want to try certain things.

dolkapots · 15/07/2016 11:29

OP you sound very reasonable though Smile

I am a lax parent but would still expect that 10 year olds in water parks need supervision?

bumsexatthebingo · 15/07/2016 11:34

I think there's a massive difference between the supervision a 10 yo swimmer needs and a 10 yo non swimmer. My eldest is younger and a strong swimmer and I would be happy to supervise from the edge of the pool. A non swimmer will need someone right with them. Totally unfair of the other mum not to mention it until now.

Scarydinosaurs · 15/07/2016 11:38

Yes- the supervision a ten year old requires is the stuff a mother of a three year old dreams of...

LyndaNotLinda · 15/07/2016 11:38

But that's your choice dolka. You're the one that has to supervise her. But expecting someone else to supervise your child to that degree - on what is supposed to be a holiday for them - is completely unfair.

DS has SN. He doesn't like bowling, can't ride a scooter or climb. I have turned down party invitations to the skate park and bowling because he'd ruin everyone else's fun. Actually - case in point - I didn't know he hated bowling until he was invited to a bowling party and when I came to collect him, the mum was trying to manage him and his distress while trying to supervise lots of other kids. I was mortified - luckily she is a friend (and a teacher) so it was okay.

But I would never send DS to a party like that knowing he was likely to hate it.

dolkapots · 15/07/2016 11:42

If the worst does happen & we can't leave them unsupervised

Sorry OP, from this I thought you meant you would be leaving them completely, rather than a watchful eye from the side.

Lorelei76 · 15/07/2016 11:42

OP I don't want to worry you more
But on the other hand it might be useful if I say this
Unfortunately some people are incredibly thick. His mum has proved she's one of them. So I'm just thinking, be aware in case the lad hates it. If she thought it was okay to send him to a water park without considering his ability, I'm wondering if she heard "free holiday and no kid for a week" without considering if he'd like it. He might have said yes but nit really thought about what it will be like and whether or not it will get on his nerves etc. Obviously his parents should be able to realise that, but....!

dolkapots · 15/07/2016 11:49

Lynda my dd does not need supervision as in me with her in the pool. I watch from the sides whilst on MN We find out the "swimmers only" slides/rides before hand and she knows to avoid them. The water parks I am familiar with are manned with traffic light systems, cameras in the flumes etc lots of lifeguards etc and the water is generally no more than waist high. Hence why I wouldn't think it was a pre-requisite to be a strong swimmer to attend one.

Have I missed an update where the boy in question hates water/water parks? If not then why are posters saying about sending children to places they hate? That is a bit common sense really.

bumsexatthebingo · 15/07/2016 11:56

It says on the website that children and adult non swimmers need to be accompanied and supervised at all times. I wouldn't be happy with a non swimmer out of my sight in one of those places tbh. No matter how many lifeguards there are their eyes can't be everywhere and drowning can happen very quickly and quietly.

LyndaNotLinda · 15/07/2016 12:36

We don't know if he hates them or not. We do know he can't swim which means the OP/her DP is going to have to be with him all the time.

And yes, I would let a couple of 10 year olds who could swim out of my sight at a water park. A non-swimmer - not a chance.

MissDuke · 15/07/2016 16:11

I still find it unusual that the op would invite a friend with the intention of providing minimal supervision, I just cannot imagine doing that. Maybe my opinion is skewed because my daughter has ASD, I don't know! She didn't go on a school residential because we didn't trust the school to meet her needs so there's no way I would be letting her go with a friend on a holiday like this, especially if I knew the plan was for minimal supervision. I feel the same way about NT ds (8) but don't know if I will when he is 10! I just don't think this is a good holiday choice if you just want to chill and leave the kids to it Confused

Tbh I tend to provide MORE supervision to other children compared to my own, not less!

I actually think as others have said that this will increase the safety for this child as at least he will now be supervised.

MissDuke · 15/07/2016 16:14

Mind you, maybe this is time for me to confess that I am also one of those people who won't leave the children in the car to get petrol.... think I need to get a grip Blush

bumsexatthebingo · 15/07/2016 19:01

I see your point Miss Duke but I think at 10 they won't really want the parents hovering over them.
I do think the other mum is pretty laid back though - not only letting her son go on holiday with another family (who don't seem particularly close other than the boys) but also to a water park when he can't swim. I think my heart would be in my mouth the whole time.

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