AIBU to expect a bit more sleep?

[celeryeater]

Its a long one I'm afraid but any help would be appreciated!
Im a ftm Dd is 8 weeks old and ebf. We are also cosleeping. Dp has had enough of the lack of sleep and sleeps all night on the sofa downstairs. She was diagnosed as having reflux and we were given infant gaviscon but it made her constipated so we had to stop. She does seem to have gotten slightly better although last night is a bad example. Lately she has had terrible gas though.
I made a log of how our night was last night - please tell me what I'm doing wrong!

9.30 feed and I go to bed
11.50 dp brings dd to me in bed and fed
12.20 falls asleep in my arms on the boob but when I lay her down shes wide awake and wriggling
12.24 farting and dribbling milk on bed
12.34 dd still awake and wriggling
12.40 shove boob in mouth laying down to chill her out. Wish I had a dummy
12.47 dd chilled. Will try sleeping again
12.52 dd wakes up grizzling. Shove boob in mouth laying down to calm her
{2 HOURS SLEEP - ISH. IF I FELL ASLEEP STRAIGHT AWAY WHICH I DIDN'T}
3 wakes up wriggling and hungry
3.30 dd hurting nipple and not really eating anymore so I take her off and burp her. No burps. I go to the toilet
3.36 dd doing all the farts. decide to change fat wet nappy. Dd sicks up a lot of the milk she just had
3.43 offer other boob too in the hopes that the more she eats she might sleep a bit longer. Health visitors suggestion
3.54 falls asleep at the boob. Burp her - can't get anything other than a tiny burp up. Burp her on my chest and she instantly falls asleep. I am roasting alive so decide to open the window a crack. 3.57 Obviously dd wakes up when I lay her down so put her back on my chest to relax and burp a bit more
4.02 try to lay her down she starts smiling wriggling and farting. Also sounds like she occasionally sicks and swallows it again
,4.10 dd wide awake on bed farting wriggling smiling drooling out milk. I wish I had a dummy
4.15 dd starts to get grizzly and annoyed about something so I pick her up for a cuddle and she pukes hot milk all over me.
4.16 dd seems a lot more chilled and like she might fall asleep in my arms
4.20 dd reanimates annoyed about something. Lay her down and is grizzling and wriggling. Going to try putting boob in her mouth laying down
4.24 she starts taking a proper feed
4.30 wishing I could sleep like this but have to be in an awkward position to get boob in her mouth. I feel a bit sick. Birds are noisy outside
4.34 think dd has fallen asleep. I'm going to try moving in to more comfortable position
{2 HOURS SLEEP?}
6.40 dd wakes up wriggling eventually crying so feed her
6.54 dd finished so burp her but don't get much up
7.04 lay her down and all the wriggles
7.07 wriggles farts and crys so pick her back up on my chest, she struggles to get comfy... Eventually chills out in a really awkward position
7.13 dd can't get comfy on me so lay her down anyway and go for a wee and get some more water
7.17 dd crying by the time i get back so I pick her up to put her on boob and she throws up hot milk all over me then latches on
7.30 dd comes off boob and starts wriggling try burping her and can't get anything up so lay her on my chest to burp and hopefully relax her. She is asleep as I write this
7.37 dp comes upstairs

Some of my friends babies are sleeping 4+ hours in a stretch at night now but I don't have anything else to compare to. Is this normal?

re SIDS

Co-sleeping is a bigger risk factor than lying her on her side.

I would get her a dummy and try the moses basket again. And go back to the GP for more effective medication.

I hadn't thought of wheat intolerance so that could be one to try.
I've done the dairy free for about a month with not much difference so I might begin reintroducing it and see if it makes a difference.
Funnily enough we did raise the mattress in her own cot but obviously she hasn't been sleeping in it... Tonight I will give it a go.

Dp works full time at a stressful mentally demanding job so don't really expect him to take her in the morning when he has already done it for me in the evening

I had one with reflux but my milk never came through due to a medical issue so she was formula fed by that age. HOWEVER the reflux issue is still the same regardless and so is the lack of sleep.

Gaviscon isn't the only reflux medication, it might be it isn't enough for her and unfortunately it can cause constipation so you need to speak to the GP about that I think.

as someone else said - if the wind issues started when you were on antibiotics, are you taking a probiotic at all? I would get some really good ones - something like biokult (you can get it in boots, it isn't cheap - 30 tablets is £9.99 if I remember right but it is always on 3 for 2) and start slow with it but then up the dose a bit and this should presumably pass through your breast milk to her.or you can get the powder ones suitable for babies like PP said. also it isn't only broccoli - any cruciferous (think that is the name) vegetable can cause wind, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage etc so it might be worth looking into that. Perhaps try a really bland diet for a week and see if it helps, then you can gradually add in other things.

Don't lie her flat on her back, always have her head higher up - we had the cot propped up at one end constantly so she slept on a slope and never give up on winding her until there has been a burp.

good luck - you aren't alone x

As Fiveminutes said you do have to give it a while. You could also give her a gentle, weak ginger or thyme herbal tea in a bottle , warm, mixed with lots of water of course. Have you taken probiotics after your AB's?

I've been having a probiotic non dairy yoghurt in the mornings but I suppose it isn't enough. I will try the tablets instead.
Thanks for all the suggestions, I'll try anything.

Go back to the GP and ask for Ranitidine. It reduces the amount of stomach acid produced. The excess wind is due to the reflux. Have you tried gripe water for the wind?

What is gripe water? I thought as well you're not supposed to give bf babies water?
Just done a feed and tried burping her by wriggling her top half about and got quite a big burp so will be doing that one each time

Definitely try propping up the cot (the next2me has this facility if you do get a cosleeper), and also, try feeding a bit more upright - so she's keeping the air near the top of her stomach, I definitely find it easier to wind like that.

The farting and straining to poo sounds quite normal, both mine have done this. 12wk DD2 sleeps on her front with her bum in the air farting away at night.

Good luck :)

You said you have tried cutting out dairy, but have you just avoided the obvious sources or actively checked all food labels? If you eat a lot of asian food does this include soy? As the proteins in soya are very similar to milk protein, and a significant number of babies who are mik intolerant also react to soya.

My ds wasn't diagnosed until 17 weeks and used to have painful and foul smelling wind as one of his symptoms.

I second the suggestion to go back to the drs as there are other meds to try for reflux too

Lay her down on her tummy after she's fed if she's fallen asleep, she'll then burp with the pressure on her tummy. Then roll her over.

Try to combat overtiredness by getting her to nap well in the daytime. After she's been awake for an hour work on getting her back to sleep again.

Get a load of dummies!

You only give 5ml of gripe water at a time. It is a solution of water and bicarbonate of soda, it helps baby to bring up the wind.

We found infacol better than gripe water x

Gripe water is a medicine which is used to help bring up wind, you only give a teaspoon and is fine for bf babies. I would try that or infacol. Gripe water is given during or after feeds, infacol before feeds and is cumulative so you need to use it before every feed.

I would feed, give gripe water then wind for a few minutes. Keep your baby upright for 15 minutes then lay down in side car cot with a dummy. Is there a reason you haven't tried a dummy Yet? They can be a godsend for unsettled babies.

My ds had mild silent reflux and propping the head of his cot helped. Both of mine went through a fussy phase at this age though, very grumbly and wriggly (ds was also quite grunty) which can be normal.

My DS couldn't cope with me eating onions when I was bf. You could try cutting that out as it caused him terrible stomach pain. We found that infacol made constipation worse (sorry!) so I'd go back to the GP and ask for an alternative to gaviscon and maybe look at getting a foam wedge so she can sleep more upright.

Just a thought but are you over feeding her causing her to have wind? Only asking coz I have a 6 week old and I too am breast feeding granted my baby doesn't have reflux but since I stopped trying to feed her just to comfort her she seems a lot better and less windy. Last night I had a bad night of sleep but she can do 4+ he stretches

forgot the gripe water. we also used to use a fisher price vibrating chair quite a bit, she was always uncomfortable after feeding and that seemed to help

Thanks I will work my way through the suggestions to see what helps and what doesn't.
I wondered if I was overfeeding her too but they do say to feed on demand for at least the first 3 months to establish milk supply. I also worry about her getting dehydrated in this weather so just try feeding her first when she's unhappy and generally it does calm her down. I have a friend though that is only bfing her lo every 4 hours to make sure she takes a big feed when she is fed and get some order back in her life. I may try that as a last resort if nothing else works

Oh I wouldn't IIWM, bf needs to be done more often (because it's more quickly digested than formula and you need to keep up your supply) Your friend will have an unhappy baby for 1-2 hours ,I couldn't stand the crying!

So you're already getting a lot of suggestions and you'll have to work out what works for you. I've had 2 reflux babies so will share what helped with them.

Try to remember you will sleep again. I know it's awful at the moment but as they get older and tubes get bigger etc it does get easier. Hang in there.

When feeding:
Burp her properly. It sounds like you are trying an upper body wiggling technique. Great. That sometimes worked for me. Also I found I was being too gentle when burping. Some babies only need a bit of a gentle rub and they burp but it took a midwife to show me how hard to do it to realise I needed to be more forceful. At first I was a bit concerned that she was being too rough with DD, then DD let out a huge burp and I realised I had been being too gentle.
Also burp half way through a feed. I used to take DD off 5 mins in, try to burp for a couple of mins, then put her back on (and keep trying every 5 mins until I got a burp) and burp her again at the end.
I know how hard it is when they fall asleep feeding and how tempting it is just to let them sleep but if I was strict about doing this she not only stayed awake for a proper feed, she slept better (ie at all) afterwards.

Hold upright for 20 mins after a feed. Again I know this is a killer when it's 4am and they start snoring on you and all you want to do is sleep but it should help the reflux. Change nappy before you start feeding so you don't have to do it afterwards (assuming no part-way-through-feed poo!). Mine always spewed up all the milk they'd just had if I put them on a changing mat. If you are finding 20 mins after a feed is when she starts to stir anyway then she could have an approx 20 min sleep cycle. In that case try doing it for 15 mins instead.

As pp have said tilt wherever she's sleeping, we had a Moses basket stand that I could angle but I guess you can come up with something to suit your bed if you're cosleeping.

Then don't pick her up straight away when she wakes. Try other means of settling. She may self-settle (yeah I know probably not but it's worth always seeing just incase). Babies are incredibly snuffly and wake regularily, they dont always need intervention. We found DD1 would sometimes resettle if we breathed deeply (loudly) next to her - I guess she was calmed by knowing we were there. If she cries but you've only just fed her then a dummy is your friend. Try not to laugh at, smile at or even have eye contact with her - it sounds harsh but she'll get the idea eventually that night time is not play time.

Good luck!

Some great advice there newmum thanks!

I just wanted to sympathise your DD sounds a lot like my DD except she didn't eat as well as yours. I don't have any advice largely because nothing seemed to work particularly well and DD is one of the unusual ones who didn't lose the reflux at 10 months, 1 year, weaning, 2 years, 3 years. Good luck OP and be kind to yourself.

I sympathise with the reflux. Can you get her back in the cot and elevate one end. Your partner absolutely has to help. Can you express and then your partner can do one night at the weekend. That's what we used to do as partner drove all day in the week and didn't want him to fall asleep at her wheel. There's a website think it's called little refluxers which gives great tips. Just remember this won't be forever (although doesn't really help at the time) just do what you need to do to get through

Ok so your DD has been diagnosed with quite a lot of stuff already but I have to throw another one in sorry.

Has she been checked for tongue tie?

DD1 had undiagnosed posterior tongue tie and was exactly as you describe - especially the farting and wriggling. And the refluxy sounding burps/swallows. Finally cutting the tt made such a difference.

Does your DD have any of the TT symptoms - clicking sounds when feeding, feeding from nipple rather than big mouthful of boob, falling off the nipple and having to be relatched, shallow latch (ie it's too easy to get her off the nipple), sore nipples, squished or red looking nipples after a feed?

Actually minipie yes but mostly on one side - can that be a thing? In the hospital one lady did say she thought dd could have tongue tie at the back of the tongue but I never heard back about the referral and as she was putting on weight just let it go.
From the start she hasn't liked feeding on the left side and I've had blisters, bits sucked off, mastitis. She doesn't ever seem to want to latch properly, falls asleep feeding, slides off nipple and spaghetti sucks it back in...