AIBU is she really ok?

[PinkBlueBrown]

So I'm sure every playground has them....the mum who appears stuck up, often aloof...has a select group of friends...often ignores you but on other occasions talks to you like well you're the best of friends. This one in particular started 'the' Facebook page to connect all the year group mum's and then of course organised the obligatory first drinks. She knew the class lists before anyone else and thinks she's 'in' with the teachers. The issue I have is well a few mum's have commented on her general kind of pickiness as to who she talks too...my issue with her is she's generally ok at parties etc if you catch her on her own. It's that 'walking past' on the school run or in 'school queue' you feel ignored. I shouldn't give two hoots and there are a number of mum's who feel like this mainly cos she's been the one on Facebook who is the organiser and super social. Personally I think she's probably more confident online than in person. In person she can be on or off. Why are some mum's like this? Is it a power trip? Is she genuinely just in her own world...I don't get her.

Is anyone else still trying to work out what this poor woman has done wrong?

OP, thanks for reminding me why I speak to very few people when dropping off / collecting DS. I can't be arsed with this petty, childish, utter shite. Maybe she's shy? Maybe she's in a rush? Maybe she just doesn't like you? Maybe she knows you've been bitching about her with your school gate mates (who will definitely also be talking about you by the way)?

Queen bee syndrome.

Don't waste your time.

I think it sounds like this woman ignores social minions. I'm shocked people don't recognise this type of person.

When she goes to pick up her dc she just wants to chat with her feiends doesn't she? Like everyone else does.

If you've got anything to say about the fb thing, then do it on fb. Let her pick up her kids in peace and have a bit of socialising with her mates.

Wtf are "social minions"? This is mad. As this thread proves, most of us just want to pick up our kids and get going again, with no drama.

The fact that people are even considering the social "standing" of other school gate parents says much more about their insecurities than anything else.

I can honestly say I don't butch about anyone.
I stopped that when I became an adult and realised its a shitty thing to do.

Op you are displaying the behaviours that you are moaning about her for. You clearly don't like and/or are jealous of her. You and other mums are on a power trip yourself, with your nastiness behind her back.

I still can't see what she has done wrong.

bitch

I think a number of you are out to pick a fight really to shout someone down. Mumsnet is rather odd. Best not to get caught up on this page etc it was only my second post probably my last as well I've been made to feel like I'm a horrible person and none of you know me or my story. I don't know what I was expecting perhaps some handling techniques not to be upset in this manner. Over and out

She seems to be just like 90% of the population. Don't most people have lots of nodding acquaintances, some others they occasionally have a wee chat with and then a restricted group of friends? Her only fault seems to be that she's set up a Facebook page that benefits everyone. I bet she's regretting it already.

OP you came on onto AIBU here asking if you were being unreasonable, were told almost unanimously that you were, plus 'needy' came up a few times. You decided you didn't like the answer, that mumsnet is 'odd' and so you are 'over and out'

Sometimes rather than being angry/upset that you have been given advice that you don't like it can be a good idea to try and think objectively and wonder if there is a reason why everyone who replied said much the same thing. Perhaps they were right and you were wrong and it might be worth listening?

handling techniques

handling techniques? seriously? she's a perfectly normal/reasonable sounding woman from what you've written, not a rabid dog!

Try being nice, and stop expecting more from others than you're willing to do yourself, and lay off the playground bitching for a bit?

I don't always say hi to people in the morning either. Unless they are really smiley extrovert types who do it first. I am often just thinking about what I need to do after drop off , also am naturally shy.I would hate people to think that meant I was aloof. I am always friendly and chatty if someone engages me in conversation when we have more time. If this woman does this too, then I would base my judgment on these conversations .