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AIBU?

To go on holiday without DS and not tell him about it...

63 replies

longer6528 · 11/07/2016 10:29

DS is 11. He is doing a sports camp in the summer holidays, where they stay there for the week (sleep there and everything) as its intense training for tennis.

Anyway, we have found a nice holiday that we fancy. Would it be really bad if we went without him and just never told him? He'd know no difference, as he wouldn't have been here anyway!

OP posts:

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bumsexatthebingo · 11/07/2016 14:14

I wouldn't do it. Can you get the money back for the tennis camp if he doesn't want to go and take him with you?
If not I'd go another time when you can all go. It wouldn't feel right having a big treat like a holiday and not taking the dc.

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branofthemist · 11/07/2016 14:48

So what will you if there is an emergency and they need you to pick him up?

In our case, if we were away, my parents would be emergency contact. But the kids would ask why we hadn't shown up, if they didn't know we were away.

Then be upset that we lied to them.

Ywbu to lie to him. And at his age he could find out in many ways. Just tell him.

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hardheadedwoman · 11/07/2016 14:51

Why not tell him you are going in a specialist interest holiday that would bore him to death - like a museums tour?

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2nds · 11/07/2016 14:55

Hetero has a good point, it does sound like he maybe doesn't want to go to tennis?

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TheRoadToRuin · 11/07/2016 14:59

II'd have a quiet week at home and book the holiday when we could all go, or are you sending him on camp because you want to go on holiday without him?
.

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HSMMaCM · 11/07/2016 15:04

We did it when DD went away with school. We had a cheap term time holiday. We made sure we could collect her easily if we needed to and the school could contact us on our mobiles.

She was happy, we were happy. We might have slightly over exaggerated the amount of stuff that we would do, that she would find really boring .

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Ragwort · 11/07/2016 15:06

It wouldn't feel right having a big treat like a holiday and not taking the dc.

But he is having a holiday - at the tennis camp which presumably he wants to do? .

I've just come back from a week in the sun, I had a fabulous holiday. My DS was at home with my DH - he understands that adults have lives too.

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flowery · 11/07/2016 15:25

I don't think you should lie to him. Whether you go or not IMO depends on who 'we' is. Just you and DP/DH for an adult break is one thing. Taking other DC to Disneyland, that's something else.

Also IMO depends whether you are having/have had a family holiday this year, or whether these separate trips are it.

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trafalgargal · 11/07/2016 15:30

If he's an only child then at 11 he's old enough to understand that whilst he's doing his thing you are doing yours (after all the world doesn't revolve solely for his benefit) . If however it's a family holiday with other siblings too then it's a different matter and he shouldn't just be excluded but choose for himself which he'd prefer to do.

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bumsexatthebingo · 11/07/2016 18:22

The op is saying that she is not going to tell her ds because he will want to go as well so it doesn't sound like he's that into the tennis camp. I wouldn't really call a tennis camp a holiday either. I think one parent going away is a bit different to both going and only the dc being left.

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Onenerfwarfrombreakdown · 12/07/2016 22:13

OP, care to come back and let us know what you've decided to do?

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LemonSqueezy0 · 12/07/2016 22:33

She can't - her phone Is in flight mode as her and her DH are already on the plane on the way to the Bahamas!

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maninawomansworld01 · 13/07/2016 02:04

YANBU to go on holiday but why hide it?
He's going to football camp so you're going to have a week away as a couple, what's wrong with that? What are you supposed to do while he's away at camp, sit around the house desperately awaiting his return?

Fuck that, go make to most of your child free time.
My parents always did it, we would have a nice but not ridiculous family holiday. Somewhere a shortish distance so it was manageable with 3 fairly young DC's, then us kids would always have GP come and look after us in September for a couple of weeks while parents went off somewhere really nice like the Seychelles or Hawaii or whatever.

They never lied to us, they just told us straight that while they loved us and loved taking us away that looking after us was hard work at times and they needed a holiday just to two of them sometimes.
We didn't care, we didn't resent them for it, we didn't feel unloved or abandoned, we weren't scarred by it.
If they had lied and then were found out ( and kids wall find out - they're young not stupid), then we might have been more upset.

Just be honest, then go and enjoy your holiday.