Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to ex DH?

55 replies

EdithBouvierBeale · 10/07/2016 22:13

Ex DH has the kids on holiday just now. They fly back through the night and arrive in the UK at 7.55 on Tuesday. He asked me to fly to London to get them. I agreed and took the day off work.
He hasn't booked the flights and they are now really expensive or full. The only options are either flying down at 7am, spending 8/9 hours in Gatwick and flying home....or taking the kids and a fortnight's worth of luggage across London and on a train for 5 hours. I have said no to these.
He says he is working on Tuesday afternoon and can't bring them home. I am seriously Angry
But, AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
EdithBouvierBeale · 10/07/2016 23:08

I just texted him to say that I am happy to come down if the timings work out but if they don't, I will meet them at home. He replied saying that he'd make it as easy as possible, but suggested I travel across London by train, with the kids and bags, from Gatwick to Heathrow then fly home from there.

OP posts:
goodbyestranger · 10/07/2016 23:10

Gatwick to Heathrow express is fine.

OneEpisode · 10/07/2016 23:10

Or a posh car, chauffeur with hat, to deliver kids home? Maybe you too?

goodbyestranger · 10/07/2016 23:13

Although why don't you fly to Heathrow and he meet you there from Gatwick?

ChasedByBees · 10/07/2016 23:15

He can accompany them across London to sort out the luggage can't he?

BigGreenOlives · 10/07/2016 23:17

Coach direct from Gatwick to Heathrow is better than train & tube. He can meet you at LHR.

MilesHuntsWig · 10/07/2016 23:17

Tell him if he's only willing to pay for your flights in/out of heathrow then he can get your kids there. Bloody hell, you're already being more accommodating than I would be.

Original poster
EdithBouvierBeale · 10/07/2016 23:17

One episode, The more expensive the better ;)

OP posts:
WellErrr · 10/07/2016 23:18

Could you fly to Heathrow and he meets you there with them?

His problem, he needs to sort it.

goodbyestranger · 10/07/2016 23:19

Yes I think my absolute bottom line would be he gets the DC to Heathrow.

MsVestibule · 10/07/2016 23:23

I'm a bit confused (sorry, it's late!). Can you just bullet point which airport his holiday flight arrives into, and where he expects you to fly into and out of?

goodbyestranger · 10/07/2016 23:29

My reading is that the holiday flight arrives at Gatwick at 7.55am and the only flights back from Gatwick to OP's home are hugely expensive or full until late afternoon so the exDH has suggested her flying back home from Heathrow. However, he, wants OP to do the journey from Gatwick to Heathrow rather than OP flying into Heathrow and him meeting her there with the DC.

goodbyestranger · 10/07/2016 23:30

,

goodbyestranger · 10/07/2016 23:31

Not sure what that was!

Original poster
EdithBouvierBeale · 10/07/2016 23:40

Bullet points are:

Night flight arrives into Gatwick at 0755. Kids will be shattered and jet-lagged.
He wants me to either:
Fly to Gatwick at 0700 then to take the DC's and fly up from Gatwick at 4 or 5.
Fly to Gatwick and take the kids on the train to Heathrow then fly home at 2ish
Fly to Gatwick and take the kids to the train home. This train journey is about 5/6 hours long.

OP posts:
MsVestibule · 10/07/2016 23:43

Thanks stranger. I got the holiday arrival time/airport and that he wanted her to fly back with the DCs from Heathrow. I just wasn't sure where she was actually flying into, but that probably doesn't matter.

OP, if you're flying into Gatwick and meeting them there, would he pay for a taxi from Gatwick to Heathrow?

IF you're prepared to do that, tell him you'll do so as long as he books and pays for the taxi in advance. Otherwise, you'll just meet him at your home. He can work out which is cheaper/more convenient for him...

MsVestibule · 10/07/2016 23:45

Sorry, cross posted! He's got a fecking nerve, hasn't he?

Original poster
EdithBouvierBeale · 10/07/2016 23:47

He will go to his flat when they land because he is 'working' later in the afternoon.
He may well be, but if he is organised enough to arrange work, he should be organised enough to book the travel that the work is dependant on.

OP posts:
trafalgargal · 10/07/2016 23:48

Why would you travel through London with bags when there's a perfectly good coach service between Gatwick and Heathrow ?

maddening · 10/07/2016 23:49

Exh And dc fly from gatwick to Heathrow and meet you there, exh can fly to work

trafalgargal · 10/07/2016 23:51

Alternatively how about booking a day room at a Gatwick hotel . The kids can chill, nap, watch tv whatever after arriving and no dragging bags across London.

trafalgargal · 10/07/2016 23:52

There are no flights between Heathrow and Gatwick

rollonthesummer · 10/07/2016 23:54

Is he paying for your travel costs?

Original poster
EdithBouvierBeale · 10/07/2016 23:56

Trafgargal i didn't know there was a coach. Exdh just said i might need to take the kids to Victoria station in order to get the Heathrow.
To be honest, I don't want to fly to one airport and immediately transfer to another. It's a pain in the neck however we get there, and all because he has left the booking too late.
But a day hotel is a good compromise. The kids could have a bath and a proper sleep.

OP posts:
DeathStare · 11/07/2016 04:53

Edith - you need to be specific with him about which flights you require and then stand firm.

Ie.
"Please book me a seat on the 6am flight from mycity to Gatwick and then return flights for me and DC on either the 10 am or 11am flight from Gatwick to mycity as per our original agreement. No other arrangements work for me so if you cannot book these specific flights please arrange to return DC to mycity yourself"

He may have operated like this in your marriage but that doesn't mean you have to allow him to now.

Swipe left for the next trending thread