What unreasonable things do you wish you could do but know you can't?

[Writerwannabe83]

My toddler is napping, we've had a lot of sleep issues lately and him napping is a huge achievement, and the three children who live next door are out in the garden and they are playing and screaming at the top of their voices!!! Their garden is below my DS's bedroom.

I really want to go and tell them all to STFU but thankfully I know I'd be really unreasonable to do so

Hee hee! I posted my 'kick a pigeon' without reading the full thread - didn't know I had so much company!

ephemeral Yy to cyclists. I have always wanted to shout "Doesn't Mummy let you cycle on the road???" at adults on the pavement. Twats.

push the back of people who stand either infront of tube gates or at bottom of tube escalators to have a slow ponder over the tube map .....aghhhhhh.......

Twat the arrogant bugger in the supermarket who just bellows out what they can't find
Irritates the shit out of me that a shop assistant doesn't even warrant a complete sentence or a please and thank you

I would tell my neighbours to either stop cooking fish every few days, or do it without opening every door and window in their house, thereby ensuring we either have to put up with the stench or swelter in our house with all the windows and doors shut.

Stop paying my bills and book a round-the-world ticket instead.

Dye my hair pillar box red and have my lip pierced .

Either get a dog or book an amazing holiday to Disney world. Dh hasn't signed off on a puppy and he's not convinced about the holiday but I want to do both

Let the tyres down of entitled people who park in my works car park and fuck off to go shopping. It's a Doctor's Surgery and ill people and people with mobility problems would like to be able to park there to actually attend the surgery.

Shoot people who wear baggy grey jogging bottoms. They flatter no-one and make people look if they've given up on life.

PS I don't have a gun.

kicking pigeons!

Tell my neighbour that I'm not surprised his wife left him - if I was with someone who did THAT much DIY until 10pm with no sign of ANY home improvements, I'd be out the door too.

I did do the 'wanker' sign out of my car window today to the cunt chap in the van behind. I mean, how dare someone in front of him stop to allow someone out of a side road.

I would like to kick David Cameron in the nuts. Hard.

My super power would be to be able to eat what I wanted without consequence oh maggie that is my dream life.

I would like to have enough money gifted to me to see my Ds 2 through his final year at uni, have enough for two holidays a year and to eat / drink and shop with gay abandon, still save a bit each month for the future and go into work tomorrow and hand in my notice

Shout MOOOVE!!!!!! to the people who meander slowly through the bus station with their wheely cases extended to the side so they take up even more space when I'm trying to catch my bus. We're not all on holiday you know!!

To torpedo those cars that tailgate you while you overtake at a reasonable speed until you reach the point when you can safely pull in with appropriate stopping distance. The ones that look like they're in a desperate hurry to overtake you and get somewhere, but actually just lurk in your blind spot, gradually inching past you, therefore blocking you in behind the next slow moving vehicle on the left and forcing you to reduce speed. Absolute bastards!

Oh, and those dozy bastards that leave you waiting for them to pass because they didn't bother indicating so you couldn't anticipate that it would have been safe to manoeuvre. I'd torpedo them too.

I want to be able to do cartwheels - never managed as a child, now 40 something male - not sure I ever will now.

Trying to get DC to teach me - but they laugh at my crap attempts.

I'd like to tell my colleague that the reason she never leaves work on time is because her time management is rubbish. Not, as she believes, that she is busier and does more work than the rest of us!

To fart really loudly in a teacher meeting.

I want Matt Le Blanc to drive me really really fast in the Porsche he was raving about on Top Gear. And then shag me on the bonnet. Does that count?

"Oh my god why wont you shut up" to wafflers but its rude so i dont. I would also love to shout MOVE at ditherers in the supermarkets

Express my disgust at noisy eaters/drinkers in the office

I'd like to shit diamonds for a living (instead of my current office-based job) but I'm scared of the pain.

punkrocker - I work with someone EXACTLY like that!!!!

mrsjay - I know a waffler, she's unbearable to spend time with which makes my days at work hard as she insists on coming on break with me. I nod along and smile but I'm not really listening to anything she is saying.

I would also like to tell my pregnant colleague to stop going on about it to me when she knows we started TTC at the same time and she got pregnant on her first cycle whereas I'm still waiting. Seriously, just fuck off!!!!

I had the red mist descend at lunchtime when another couple who had come in 5/10 mins after us had their order taken first! Absolutely no ones fault but I was starving!!!!

'Twas a very yummy meal !