Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Son upset

64 replies

rascalchops1 · 04/07/2016 10:12

My 7 yr old son is can only child, partner refused to have any more.We took 2 friends out yesterday and they came back to our house. He cried when they went home and moaned nobody comes to our house, even though they do. He seemed glum this morning. He has struggled at school, but little by little he is getting there and improving all the time. AIBU to be angry at my other half for my son's only child status. Or do kids with siblings get upset like this.

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/07/2016 11:27

It is, Molly, absolutely vile. Some women are just so utterly repulsive and selfish enough to do that I suppose. Urgh.

Whathaveilost · 04/07/2016 11:30

YABU
Small boys are grumpy old men in training!!

They moan at the lightest thing.

LadyRataxes · 04/07/2016 11:30

I often feel the same as you - DS is only child and I would have had more but DP prevented in. I feel really guilty - particularly when DS has great time wit friends/cousins or complains that he doesn't have anyone to play football with (or makes us do it) - and especially when he seems to struggle playing with his friends/compromising /sharing - as i feel this is from being an only child,
But i think posters are right- DS sometimes looks totally happy to come home to our house and have some space, he hates sharing either me or DP and I can imagine a sibling would come as a shock. But i think its to do with what I would have wanted (for him and for me) hence I highlight the problems that come from being an only...

MagicMojito · 04/07/2016 11:39

If your DS had a sibling, he'd just find something else to whinge about. Kids just want to make you feel like crap for no other reason than shits and giggles half the time

My DD1(4) often complains that her dress up princess wings are not good as they don't really make her fly she gets genuinely glum and unhappy about it but what can you do?

Kids just lurrrrve to complain.

redskytonight · 04/07/2016 11:39

Both my DC regularly moan that they hate the other one and why do they have to have a brother/sister.

Doesn't make the decision to have 2 children wrong ...

LouBlue1507 · 04/07/2016 11:42

Would like to just add... I was 7 when my first sibling, a brother, was born. I despised him... All the way until I moved out at 19! We hated each other and would fight, we couldn't be in the same room together... We get along a lot better now we don't see each other often 😂 And I do love him, but we're not close and I doubt we ever will be...

Having a sibling is not guaranteed to make a child happy or they'll build an amazing bond, it made me miserable! 😅

Batboobs · 04/07/2016 11:49

I hated being an only child, and used to cry about it, complain, whinge and beg my mum to have another baby.

Now I have 3 children, and the eldest 2 fight non-stop and are always complaining about each other's existence. I honestly don't think you can win either way!

user789653241 · 04/07/2016 11:55

Thank you, MollyTwo and LyingWitchInTheWardrobe for calling me vile and repulsive.
I was going to say something, but no point. I should stay away from aibu.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/07/2016 12:01

I could add 'despicable' and 'deceitful' too. What a thing to do to somebody you supposedly love.

splendide · 04/07/2016 12:03

Did you mean get pregnant by someone else irvine? That would be fair enough - leaving someone because you disagree on family size is sad but understandable.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/07/2016 12:05

If I wanted to have more kids, I ignored my dh, and get pregnant anyway though.

Wow how deceitful can you get.

Completely wrong and irresponsible thing to do.

NavyAndWhite · 04/07/2016 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user789653241 · 04/07/2016 12:12

Ha ha, thing is I am the most sensible person. We decided to have kids after we payed off the house, we have descent savings to raise kids.
But if I really wanted to have more kids and my dh disagreed, I would have them anyway, and take the responsibility.

NavyAndWhite · 04/07/2016 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NavyAndWhite · 04/07/2016 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleLionMansMummy · 04/07/2016 12:14

Dh and I disagreed for 5 years over having another. I'm now 20 weeks with no. 2 - no deceit needed (and I wouldn't, just to be clear) but we did talk a lot before deciding to let fate take its course. We're both thrilled and excited.

Ds will be 6 when baby arrives. He has a habit of making us feel bad about all kinds of things but him being an only child has nothing to do with it. Op, I too think you're projecting. Only children are just fine if they have friends and/ or cousins etc to play with. Even those that don't become very good at finding things to do. Children whinge, about most things.

user789653241 · 04/07/2016 12:22

Well I think if the man think it's ok to forget about contraception because woman is on the pill, he is the stupid one.
Like I said, I am the sensible one. Meaning I won't do it. It was just a thought. I didn't think it's going to get so much response for it.
Of course, I would think about my partner's and child's feeling more than my selfish desire to have more kids.

NavyAndWhite · 04/07/2016 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GabsAlot · 04/07/2016 12:33

youre an idiot there i said it irvine

youre not sensible youre vicious

op if youre dh dosnt want more kids then he doesnt nothing u can do-if u didnt want more and he did he coldnt force u could he

user789653241 · 04/07/2016 12:43

I am a bit confused, I already explained that what I said was not true, just a thought/imagination. I said I won't actually do it.
So what makes me vicious?
For saying something without thinking?

Heavens2Betsy · 04/07/2016 12:47

If my DP really didn't want more dc and I did then I would leave him and he would have to accept that. But I have always wanted more than one and my ex and I discussed how many there would be before we even started trying. We agreed on two and would discuss 3 4 or 5 when the time came. I just think its unfair when one partner changes their mind and in that case the other partner has the right to walk away.
I wouldn't ever get pg against a partners will, why would you bring an unwanted child into the world?

RepentAtLeisure · 04/07/2016 12:49

I grew up with several siblings, and always envied only children. They seemed to have more of their parents time and resources, and importantly to me as a kid they always seemed to have more toys!

You picked up on this because you wanted to have more kids and your partner didn't. That is a separate issue. Don't let one comment from a tired little boy spark an argument.

GabsAlot · 04/07/2016 13:06

youdidnt say you- typed it-twice i think u dont like the responses and are backtracking

IceRoadDucker · 04/07/2016 13:17

I wish I'd been an only child.

user789653241 · 04/07/2016 13:30

GabsAlot, if you are still talking to me, I honestly not planning to have any more kids. My ds has chronic illness and have 3 different consultants.
It was my fault for saying some stupid things, but I already said I won't do it.
I always fancied having more children, but we decided we only have one when we found out about my ds's illness.
So, please stop, I am sorry for being an idiot.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread