Page 3 | to toilet train yet

Bumpsadaisie · 04/07/2016 11:41

I tried my son at 2 years 4 months. (It was march). He was too little and we didnt really make any headway that week. Many wet pants -a few jackpots with the potty but really it was down to luck and not my son getting the knack. So I gave up for a bit.

Tried again in the July (so he was what, 2 yrs 8 mths?) and he got it straight away, during the day and at night too. In fact, so easily, that during that second attempt at training and indeed since then, since he has had only two wee accidents.

I would leave it with yours for now and try in Sept or sth.

dinkystinky · 04/07/2016 11:47

DS3 turns 3 this week - we toilet trained him last week. After 4 days he was dry day and night (though still pop him in a nappy at nights as he sleeps in a grobag so hard to get off to go to the potty).

I'd hold off for a bit and try again later.

Laiste · 04/07/2016 12:54

It's true the later you leave it the quicker they get it. With in a week certainly.

Night time dry takes longer than day time dry - plus IIRC mine asked for the nappy back on to poo at first. In fact, i don't think they used the potty for long at all, things move pretty quickly when they're properly ready, and the first poo out of nappies was actually on the loo. They loved the little step and the special seat :)

BasinHaircut · 04/07/2016 13:27

Because of this thread I've had another go at taking DS out of his nappy today. I could see him preparing to squeeze a poo out do asked if he wanted to do it on the potty.

BUT then even though asking him regularly and him telling me he didn't need a wee, did 2 quite quickly after one another on the floor.

He is 2.11 and still not ready.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 04/07/2016 13:31

DS had just turned 3. Tried when he was 2.5 and he's didn't want to know. We waited until he was ready (just after 3rd birthday) and it was much easier.
If you can just wait a few months and try again.

Mrscog · 04/07/2016 13:37

DS1 was 3.1, I tried at 2.5 with disasterous results, 2.10 but he wasn't really into it and it was Christmas and I didn't want to spend Christmas clearing up accidents, because I work FT easter was the next opportunity. He just did it straight away at 3.1 - 1 accident (wee) and none since except when he couldn't open the toilet door in time.

I think if I'd had the resource to perservere at 2.10 it could have worked but it would have been 2-3 weeks of effort and unless you're a SAHM I don't see how you can do it without a week or so to dedicate.

QueenUrsula · 04/07/2016 13:50

I tried to TT my DS last summer when he was 2.5 and it was a disaster! I kept trying for a month as I thought it would be really inconvenient to try in the winter but after four weeks of non stop accidents I have up.

I tried again over the Christmas holidays and it was completely different. He took to it immediately and has never once had an accident since then!

He wasn't ready to be out of nighttime nappies at xmas though so I didn't force it and left that until last month and again he's taken to it straight away.

I felt a bit shit when I gave up trying the first time but I'm so glad I waited a while longer as the second time around it was so easy.

Vickyyyy · 04/07/2016 16:10

My daughter is 3 and a half and not interested at all. Every now and again we get a pee on the potty, or a poo and she gets praised no end and it seems to make her really happy, but then she doesn't bother next time. Its becoming a bit of a problem tbh as the staff at her nursery seem to not change her anymore so often she is soaked through when she comes back. Also she says they don't take her to the toilet if she asks, but they reckon she doesn't ask :S

minipie · 04/07/2016 16:19

We started potty training DD at 2.7 and it took several months (the whole bloody summer) until she was mostly reliable. I think she cracked it the week before starting nursery school - at about 2 yrs 10 months. By then she was old enough to understand that having an accident meant less time for playing.

I now wish we'd left it till she was closer to 2.10. Those few months make such a difference to their understanding.

RainyDaisy · 04/07/2016 17:09

Both mine are boys. Potty trained the day after second birthday for both. One got it first day (lucky!), the other within 3 days.

You need no pants!

Naked waist down for a week.
Don't leave the house.
have a potty in ever room.
And remind him continuously.

He's 2.5 and its summer. Best time to do it.

But the underpants are confusing for him as he's been doing wees and poos in nappy his whole life. So you need to have him naked from waist down. You also need to read a "potty training" book to him. So he understands. Read it numerous times a day (boring I know! But it works).

minipie · 04/07/2016 17:25

Hmm we tried pants, no pants, potties everywhere, not leaving house, lots of reminders... still took forever because she Just. Did. Not. Care. about wetting herself.

I think this is one of those things which some kids just get early and others don't. More nature than nurture. Like sleep (we didn't luck out there either!)

Mrscog · 04/07/2016 19:24

Minipie - completely agree.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 04/07/2016 19:33

I tried for a couple of days and then stopped when there were more misses than hits.

Once they were ready, they were reliably dry in a couple of days. Don't get me wrong, we still had our fair share of accidents out of the home and my twins were 7 before they were reliably dry at night (DS3 was just turned 4).

Just remember, you might have read the parenting books but he hasn't! Don't kills yourself if he just doesn't seem to be getting it.

Crunchymum · 04/07/2016 19:53

I was on a deadline to TT (dry policy at preschool he started on his 3rd Birthday)

We started trying from 2.5m and my rule of thumb was if he didn't use potty

Crunchymum · 04/07/2016 19:55

Sorry posted too soon.

If he didn't use potty willingly after 2 full days we stopped and went back a few weeks later.

Took a few false starts but he was eventually day time dry before he went to preschool.

Crunchymum · 04/07/2016 19:57

I'd offer alternatives to the potty as some kids don't like them. We got a step and kiddy seat and that worked much better.

Also some kids benefit from bare bums, others need pants. Try x way for a few days and if no joy try y way and if still no joy then back off for a while.

Loathed TT.

Equimum · 04/07/2016 20:01

DS showed signs of being ready at 2.5 years. He started telling me that he wanted a wee every night, just as I was putting him to bed. Although clearly a delay tactic, he always weed when I took him to the toilet, so I took his pants off during the day. By about day three he was dry and reliably did poos on the potty. I wasn't overly brave, so I still used nappies when out and about, but he was out of them altogether, day and night, within a month. We had a new baby when he was 2.8, though, and we went through a brief regression, we have also had a more recent regression, but nursery tell me that incoming for boys (he's 3.6 now). Generally, though, he's had only very occasional accidents.

Incidentally, though, my DM tells me that we were all dry by a year, but it has recently emerged that we were in nappies when out and about until at least two. When I asked about this, she seemed to think that that was quite a different thing !

kurlique · 04/07/2016 21:37

My darling DD is now a teenager but back In the day she took ages to potty train... 3 yrs 4months and literally a couple of days before she was due to start Pre-school nursery which she needed to be dry for. We tried countless times but my heart broke when she sat on her potty and asked "how do I make it happen mummy?" That was the end of the trying and I waited for her to decide. So different from her big brother who did it straight away at 2! And was dry 24/7 at 2yrs 4mths!!! Please don't think that delayed TT is an indicator of other development, DD is the clever clogs AND the athlete in our family, it is just that every child is different and it will all be ok in time😊

Original poster

BeamMeUpScottie · 05/07/2016 08:18

Thanks very much everyone, I really appreciate all the advice. I feel far better equipped to deal with tt now. I'm going to give it a miss for a month then try again. Brilliant!

OP posts:

Laiste · 05/07/2016 11:02

I had a stab at it yesterday because of this thread. DD 2.6. Potty in living room, nappy off. Running in and out the garden for a couple of hours. Me doing lots of potty chat and her having fun getting on and off the potty.

Then she wee'd n her wendy house in the garden and looked really confused. Got the hump when i had to wipe her down and even more of the hump when i mentioned the potty again! She poo'd 10 mins after i put her nappy back on.

I think I'll leave it for a couple more months too

RosesareSublime · 05/07/2016 13:24

op relax about it, just keep coming back after a while.
the worst thing i think you can do is push it, make it all stressed and angsty and give them a complex and set them back.

Socksey · 05/07/2016 13:32

All kids are different... I'm told boys tend to be a little later than girls... and my nephew was about 3.5 when he was dry in the day and 5 at night.
My DS, on the other hand, was dry before he was 2 (day) and 2.2 (night). I think that only happened because we were living in a very warm country at the time and we had tiled floors so he was able to go around the house with just a t-shirt on and so he could see what was happening if he had an accident etc. Obviously in our climate here that's less likely to be possible...
I think the main thing is not to make an issue of if for him... my DS didn't like the potty and wanted to sit to the big toilet like everyone else... Not sure it's possible to make it 'fun'... but don't let him see you frustrated... it'll happen when it happens...

Lazyafternoon · 05/07/2016 13:35

My DS is 2.5 and I know I'm starting to feel like I 'should' be getting him potty trained. He just doesn't seem ready. I don't actually see why I need to rush it, but it feels like everyone is constantly asking if I've started it yet and all his little friends are toilet trained.

He knows what the loo/ potty is for as will do a wee/poo on the toilet before his bath in the evening reliably. We have potty's around the house and I'll ask him to sit on it every time I change his nappy or he gets 'poo face'. However, sometime he gets upset if I try and persuade him to go on the potty when he doesn'y want to. Also if I keep asking I think he just says no because that's what he said 10 mins ago. I've put him in pull ups a couple of days we're around the house during the day and tried to encourage him to pull them down himself and sit on potty, but just not having any of it. I really want to keep it calm and fun, not stressful.

So for now I'm keeping TT in mind, but not pushing it. Yes summer would be the perfect time, especially with him due to start preschool in September, but there's no point if he's not ready. I'm sure it'll happen before he starts school. I just need to be patient and ignore the smug mums who say things along the lines of 'oh my DC was dry by 18months, it's was easy they just saw me go to the toilet instinctively knew what to do. What are YOU doing wrong'?

Exhausthasgone · 05/07/2016 21:59

Dm told me that I was dry day and night at 12months and I was 23 when I had ds (who's now 9) and none of my friends had dcs. I genuinely didn't realise that 12months is early and sil and some cousins had all started tt their dc at around a year, so I started tt my ds at around 14 months and based on dm's comments I remember thinking I'd been a bit lapse for leaving it so long .
He was already pulling at his nappy when he had soiled himself so he was quite aware. He was also quite vocal.
I didn't use a potty but used to leave the bathroom door open all the time and told him that daddy used the toilet (his dad is his hero). But it was never a big deal, he either went in his nappy or he went to the toilet. He wanted to use the toilet like daddy so he would say when he was weeing and we would quickly run to the loo and there'd be a little trickle left and he'd be so proud that he'd finished off that wee in the loo like daddy. We would praise him so much and he would clap himself and tell us lots of times that he had done a wee wee in the toilet like Daddy. Over the space of weeks and weeks he could give more warning about needing to wee and we would get to the toilet in better time. Being in a flat back then was useful too!
Bowel movements came later, he was 15 months or so. He used to say bum bum and hold his nappy when he needed to poo and I would sit him on the loo and he would get up, walk off and do it in his pull ups. But the first time that he stayed on the loo and did it I stuck a gold star on the toilet and clapped and cheered and after that he just got it and would be very insistent aboyt receiving a gold star each time. So our cistern was covered in star stickers.
To get him dry at night he would go to the loo at bedtime and then dh or I would take him to the loo overnight when we went to bed as he was a very easy sleeper. No trouble getting him in bed at night and no trouble with him going straight back to sleep after getting up for the loo. Sil had sucessfully used that method. Waking him was fine as he fell straight back to sleep but if it had given him sleepless nights we wouldn't have been able to use that method, so I know that we had it very easy in that sense.
He was dry day and night by 18 months and he didnt show signs of being tt too early, ie I never bought nappies again, I never needed a matress protector, he didnt become accident prone. At 3 he did a long haul flight and stayed abroad without problems. (He's better than dh is after a drink but thats a whole other thread )
I now know that dm's ideas about tt are considered very early and I can't see any benefit to tt before a child is ready. I have a baby ds now and once he is walking and talking I will try tt using the same methods of loads of praise, using dh as an example and covering the loo in gold stars. But I'll play it by ear and have no expectations, if he isn't ready so early then they'll be no point pushing it