AIBU to worry and WWYD?

[Cutecat78]

My two DSD's learnt to swim last year - we paid for a few lessons and we also take them a lot (and I try to help/teach them) as their mum (who I have a good relationship with) doesn't (I think) like swimming and they never go with her. They are 9 and 11.

A few times recently they have gone in and we have watched from the side they piss about a bit and just splash each other, have tried to dunk each other and don't really swim - when they have ventured into the deep end the life guard always sends them back to the shallow end as they are clearly not strong swimmers.

Am really concerned to see photos of them swimming in the deep river near their house with strong currents and their mum clearly taking pictures from the house a good way away and them jumping of the jetty with no adult in sight or in safe distance to help if one of them got into trouble.

OH is away ATM and I don't know if I risk really over stepping the mark by saying something - it gives me a cold sweat thinking about it.

AIBU and if not how do I go about it?

http://m.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/14478479.UPDATETributesspaidtoo16yearroldEllissDownesafterrbodyissfoundinntheRiverrThames/

This is the story of the boy who drowned near me.

I'm a very very strong swimmer. Daughter of a swimming teacher, swimming before 4, swimming long distances by 6, swimming competitively by 7, done all the personal survival awards in existence, can tread water for hours, can swim for miles.

I have still had two occassionally in my adult life when I have been swimming in the sea and suddenly realised that I had underestimated the current and thought "shit I'm in trouble here".

I'm not a huge risk taker. I don't go out for miles and miles. I just swim confidently in the sea.

But I have still been scared twice because open water is very very different to a swimming pool with the nice warm water, no currents, easy to hold onto sides and the lifeguard ready to jump in if necessary.

You are doing the right thing.

That's awful

Drowning in current free ponds was a massive cause of death before piped water supplies (so even without that added risk) the coldness of the water (and you get po kets if cold even in flowing water) can cause a massive shock to the body. It's terrifying that anyone can be that blasè about the risks.

Please do try again. I saw the aftermath of a drowning once. Similar age to your DSD's - it had been a matter of seconds. It was unspeakably awful.

I know I am worried sick actually I keep thinking about it and I feel a bit helpless.

Problem is I am the worst places person to press the point.

I wish one of her friends or family would say something.

Are you in regular contact with your DSDs? Just wondering whether you could speak to them directly and explain the dangers of swimming in rivers/outdoors unsupervised, so they can choose not to swim in the river of their own accord?

Failing that I think I might embellish the truth a bit:
I was at the pool today, mentioned to the lifeguard about the girls swimming in the river. He was horrified and said it was really dangerous, sent me some info about it (then include a link about dangers of swimming outside).

is there any mileage in speaking to the instructor / lifeguard and asking them to speak to her by updating their lack of progress at swimming and the dangers of river swimming?

Possibly worth talking to the school? I'm not trying to drag teachers into people's domestic lives, but it might be a good time for an assembly on water safety, and in particular the dangers of bathing in rivers.

I had thought about school - they are not local so instructor doesn't see her.

Give school a ring then maybe. Make sure they know you're not having a pop at the girls' mum, just let them know that playing in the river is currently a thing.

It's possible that actually the river is quite safe (ie wide and shallow) and looks worse from photos you've seen. School will have a better handle on local geography