I seriously need help

[MagicMonkeys]

My ds is 4 and I have to say this has been the worst year I've ever had with him! He'll be 5 in October

Ok, tantrums are a normal part of his day to day now and I'm sorry to say but they infuriate me because I have sensitive ears, so they literally cause me pain! I've brought ear plugs to remedy it,

If you ask ds to do something he'll say no, you have to ask 10-20 times, then he'll moan and threaten you with how he's going to "break your flute by snapping all the buttons off" or more of the same!

When I take him out, he's climbing over everything, swinging on bars, picking everything on the shelf up, moaning for things no matter how many times is said no to. When I hold his hand and make him walk with me he spends the entire trip screaming at the top of his lungs for me to let him go, pulling out of my hand, pinching me, scratching me!

Then I take him round to friends, who have now stopped seeing us so much, and he hits the children in the face with toys, scratched one by the eye, screams at them in frustration, and I'm trying to curb his behaviour. J make him have a time out, explain the better way to behave and make him apologise! It just isn't working!

I need help! I love my son but I don't like who he is at the moment, I need help in how to stop all of this behaviour!

OP if you have sensory issues (which your comment about sore ears may related to) and even if you don't, maybe your DS does? We know a couple of kids in our HE circle with varying grades of sensory problems that mean they just get overloaded and go manic for significant chunks of the time.

DD is somewhere on the mild end of this...she tends to go into manic periods when stressed - and what triggers the stress can be so strange and different it has taken us ages to pick the common themes out.

So maybe investigate what triggers manic behaviour for your DS?

I echo the previous poster who recommended "how to talk so children will listen". It has improved the relationship I have with DS tremendously

What chances does he get , apart from Friday to mix with his age group? They don't just know how to do it, they learn and once a week isn't enough. My DD has additional needs but that's no excuse, they still need to learn how to interact with other appropriately and if he used to do it he obviously can do it.

It may be worth trying some kind of childcare, either a nursery or childminder even if it's just one day a week to get him used to socialising without you. My daughter is a different person when in nursery, she is confident and plays with others, when we go to toddler groups she sits on my lap clinging to me.

I know you don't want to go into the reasons why you are home schooling but you just need to make sure you're doing what's best for your son, not what's best for you or what would have been best for you when you were a child.

I would try nursey just to try it and see. It won't hurt. I agree that he should be being socialised into society at nearly 5. I think you're denying him a whole world that's out there for your own beliefs. His behaviour sounds very young and is going to make him lonely. You can do more to help him transition into being a kind young boy rather than a bored toddler. Don't cut him off from his peers.