to be annoyed at constant questions from MIL?

[hormental]

I probably am but it winds me up. She needs to know every tiny detail which I assume is so she can talk about it to others. So, for example, we took DD out for the day. She wants to know where we went, who drove, how long it took to get there, what we had for lunch and what we did when we got there.

My mil doesn't give a f* what we get up to or about little one beyond how is she. Never calls first, dh or I (not me anymore I gave up) always have to make first contact. Rung up hundreds to thousands of debt mostly gambling on computer (which dh had to help pay off - we aren't rich either!) but couldn't afford to get a second hand iPhone to make it easier to send pictures. Doesn't really care but if we test the waters and don't get in touch she then complains nobody is bothered about her or sending her pictures, she just loves being the victim we think. She has problems with hands and blames that but funny how never has problem using them to gamble.

I'm just saying this op as I know it must be really frustrating and tiresome with the endless pointless questions but if she genuinely cares about your granddaughter and likes to know about your life try to see it as a positive. I know it must suck after a while but when they don't care at all it sucks even worse! I'm quite a chatty person myself and would probably enjoy a close relationship like that. In fact I reckon il be the one annoying my kids asking for endless details about their lives when I'm a gran! It will only be because I love them so much :-)

I'd start being vaguer about the stuff you tell her and changing the subject. "I can't remember" "why does it matter I've told you the main stuff?" I suspect I'd tell someone who asked me 20 questions that I felt as though I was being interrogated. Maybe leave chatting to your MIL to your husbnad most of the time so he can update her. I usually pass the phone over after a brief chat. I don't expect my husband to chat to my dad for ages either.

Or just tell her? It's not top secret and it saves you having to think of anything else to talk about!

People differ. You don't have to tell her everything at all if you don't want to. One of my teenagers tells me all kinds of stuff - he's a really chatter box. the other answers yes or know and does not want us to know anything. I learned from his twin (who himself had to guess) he is giving a major solo performance, the only one, at speech day on Monday. He chose not to tell us. that's fine. He is looking at universities on his own. His twin instead wants my input. one of my daughters calls most days to chat. The other is more self contained. We have to accept that some people like to share more information than others and work around that.

Perhaps here just compromise by telling her a bit of things every few days.

My Mum (75) is the same, and ds cracks up when I come off the phone as it's normally 25 minutes of my life that I won't get back, listening to her. It's not just the 20 questions about our lives, but those of any friend I mention as well. I do keep saying MYOB, but it doesn't sink in.

I bought two new chairs the other day and had the Spanish Inquisition about where they were going...she didn't want them in 'her' room (that is the bedroom she occupies whe she come out to stay with us).

You lot made me feel guilty so I went and bought her some flowers. You are right. I should be grateful to have someone that cares about DD. Off to eat a big slice of humble pie and brace myself for the upcoming interrogation

Gosh I must be such a cow as I think YANBU. I would respond with "I am just putting you on the phone to DH so he can answer all your questions." I would find it really intrusive, I really wouldn't get sucked into replying at all.

If the interrogation is within families, it can be handled, sometimes by the monosyllabic answers, I had to do that with MIL.
MIL - I rang earlier and there was no reply.
me - Yes we were out.
MIL - Where were you?
me - I've just told you we were out.
MIL But what were you doing?
me - I'll just get DH, hang on... DH was already primed to not feed the gossip because it would be relayed to all family members within the hour.

Not only is it intrusive, it can be upsetting for someone who wants to tell you their good news in person but then finds out Megaphone Mouth MIL got there first.
DN, Hi, I'm ringing to...
Me butting in enthusiastically - Oh, wow, congratulations on your excellent degree results, waffling on and on about being proud etc.
DN, very disappointed voice - Oh, has Gran phoned, I wanted to tell you myself.
It really upset him

I rang MIL later that evening and let her know how it had upset DN, told her it's not her place to distribute everyone's news and she should ask if people want it broadcast or if they want to let family know themselves.

This sort of stuff from neighbours really gets up my nose more than with family. I detest gossip, it's at the least inane and at its worst destructive. I have the dubious pleasure of living next door to the nosiest gossip on the planet, her conversations are very much as Golden wrote, followed by a barrage of questions so she can add to the gossip about you to her monologue of gossip when she scuttles off to see the next person. Fortunately, practise over the years with MIL has let me be non-committal to any of her interrogations.
Oddly enough, whenever her name is mentioned, the very next words out of someone's mouth are always 'oh that nosey parker.'

My MIL does this. I hate it because I don't want her boring other people with mundane stories about me (like she bores me with mundane stories about people I've never met)

I have a friend who I rarely see anymore as we live in different countries now but she used to tell me every tiny event in her family and hometown. I know so many pointless details about people I will never meet. She's also a questioner and I can't for the life of me think why she'd care about that level of detail when she will probably never meet my mum etc. I met up with her recently after not seeing her for 5 years and she had remembered everything and asked me so thoughtfully about everyone. She's one of the kindest people I know. Her epically detailed stories should not be experienced without gin handy, but she's bloody lovely.

Make up what you tell her!

DM, who has a very busy, varied, interesting life and travels lots and has my friends go round, her numerous family members go round, still relates minute detail of people I don't know. The neighbour, who is the nephew of one of her work colleagues that I vaguely know, well, I know all about the wife's dizzy spells, the car they have on the drive, what the wife drinks etc. Every time I phone, she tells me about someone I've never heard of dying. She then tells me what she's cooked for tea. Even DF is shouting in the background about how this is 'old shiter's talk'!

I too have the DM who hears something fairly big, maybe an incident the DH dealt with at work and she promptly interrupts with minor crap. I've learnt to plough on or tell her to wait as I want to tell her something important.

Mil needs to know everything so she can either a) boast to her friends about it or b) lie to her friends that she was there with us.

I recently went to Jerusalem for work. She asked loads of questions. Then told her friends that she went and ibis amazing it was. she also "stole" some of my pics I'd posted on Facebook

• it was

I was going to say YANBU. It sounds tedious and annoying. I'd probably end up responding with "why?" When asked a lot of that.

I know someone who does the useless detail in a story. I made a fatal mistake of asking how she met her DH. It took an hour and a half to tell the story. They met in a pub, he moved in quickly. I didn't get to speak in that hour and a half either.

No offence intended from me, usual

In my experience it just happens to be older family members who have had this tendency. I'm not remotely ageist, in fact I'm a middle-aged mother of primary-age kids and not much older than the grannies of some of my DC's schoolmates.

My DM tells stories in ever-increasing detail as she's getting older but she is middle-aged, not 'old' by any means and has plenty going on in her life so doesn't really fit the suggested stereotype.
I have no idea what's brought it on or how to stop it. I can only assume I'll end up the same so I try and be nice and not interrupt!

Phoned my mother to ask if she'd like me to pop over and and paint her nails.

23 mins in and I have no idea if she wants me to or not but I do know where the soap she used this morning has come from.

I am a grandma and a Mil .it pisses me off that we are written off as oldies on MN

Ageism is fine and dandy on MN.

Have you clocked the amount of time some of these 'youngies' must spend on here though, gossiping and arguing about complete shit, you'd think they'd have a life

My MIL cuts me off with her own story then goes off on a tangent and I never get to finish my conversation. Its like I've reminded her of something and she's off. She doesn't stop for breath and practically sucks the air out of the room.

She does with DD too, who is a quiet girl and who we are trying to encourage to start and join in conversations.

DD: Grandma, I've just had my maths ex......
MIL: Oh so has Brendas grandson - he's in top sets and is expected to get A* in all subjects but then his is at a private school and his father is an accountant and they are very wealthy and holiday abroad five times a year. He drives a Jaguar and he's just bought his wife a silver BMW for her 40th birthday because she didn't like the blue one her bought her for Christmas.

She'll then phone me later and ask 'how did Little China get on with her maths exam?'

I don't think this is necessarily age-related. I think it's a personality trait. Judging by this thread, there are a lot of these characters out there!

My Mum sometimes had this thing about wanting to "picture" what we are doing. Could ot be that?

Lots of questions can be annoying but not necessarily wanting to pass info on.

Another Mum like that here. I find it so oppressive and intrusive to be questioned all the time. It feeds her need to make assumptions about our lives in order that she can tell us what we think.