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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to not provide lunch for a joiner?

87 replies

boggysiscuit · 01/07/2016 22:09

We've got someone coming Mon-Weds next week to build some cupboards and change kitchen layout a bit. One bloke. I was going to buy nice biscuits and make sure tea/coffee/milk/sugar is well-stocked. DH thinks we should make him up some sandwiches and get in some extra crisps and chocolate bars. We live a 3 minute walk from a large supermarket and an excellent chippy. Who IBU?

OP posts:

Cel982 · 01/07/2016 23:19

My mother would always have offered a meal to a tradesman who was in the house over lunchtime. I presumed that was the done thing? We're Irish, maybe we're strange like that.

ABCAlwaysBeCunting · 01/07/2016 23:21

Though DH did some IT related work in a client's house and he said they all sat down for a cooked breakfast in front of him without even so much as offering him a cup of tea!

flappingbingowings · 01/07/2016 23:22

So is the conclusion of this thread that offering sex to tradesmen is fine, but woe betide them if they need to use the bathroom?

SlightlyperturbedOwl · 01/07/2016 23:22

Really no need to offer lunch (unless maybe miles and miles from civilisation) just tea, coffee and toilet. Mostly they want to go off for an hours peace for lunch- just like I do I guess. (Just as an aside, recently have noticed that sugar-taking is on the decline and far less biscuits accepted than 20 years ago)

OutsiderInTheGarden · 01/07/2016 23:23

ichoosesleep your story is lovely.

Sparkletastic · 01/07/2016 23:26

No you'll scare him.

Our lovely builder appreciates home baking though bless him.

choccywoccywoowah · 01/07/2016 23:31

My oh is a tradesman. He said it's not the norm but he loves it when people do.. why would it scare someone?

Original poster

boggysiscuit · 01/07/2016 23:32

I love the tradesman romance! DH is in construction but too busy at actual work to do our house stuff on the side. When he gets home he wants to relax?!?! How unreasonable.

I won't be home during the day unfortunately. I might make something homemade though.

I sent a batch of pink sparkly cupcakes to DH's construction site once and they went down a treat so I think pink wafers might be ok? (also I love them)

OP posts:

WankersHacksandThieves · 01/07/2016 23:34

So is the conclusion of this thread that offering sex to tradesmen is fine, but woe betide them if they need to use the bathroom?

They'd need a penis beaker in that case :o

Donatellalymanmoss · 01/07/2016 23:38

That is a sweet story.

I think offering something if you're there and making it is fine, but most people probably bring their own or pop out for something.

Biscuits not always a given last time I offered them to my painter we had a very long discussion about his body fat ratios

Cuppaand2biscuits · 01/07/2016 23:38

My dad recommended a builder to us and then told me that he was used to being fed well as he does lots of work for Indian families who always give him hot home cooked food at lunchtime.
Sadly, he had to make do with yea and biscuits from me.

OutsiderInTheGarden · 01/07/2016 23:43

OP I don't know anyone with a tradesman for a partner who isn't also waiting for them to finish off jobs at home. It's infuriating! We have been living in a total wreck/building site for 4 long years. Our last 'doer upper' only got finished after the 'for sale' board went up!

HandbagCrazy · 01/07/2016 23:51

My dad is a tradesman and regularly gets fed - I'm not sure why but women seem to get the impression my dm starves him at home despite his big belly and constantly give him food. He had to ask one customer to just leave him sandwiches for lunch because she came out with food every few hours and was slowing him down.

I think it's a fair trade - he does a good job so they feed him. Because they feed him, he isn't hard to get hold of if you have a problem or another job that needs doing

For me, I think tea, coffee, squash and some snacky bits is more than enough. I know for df he is often concentrating on getting the job done then suddenly realised he's starving and wolfs down whatever is closest.

bellybuttonfairy · 01/07/2016 23:54

My husband is a tradesman.

He says tea and biscuits is lovely.
Lunch is a bonus.

I often feed workmen. I know many as they are husbands colleagues. They always say yes.

Atthebottomofthegarden · 01/07/2016 23:59

Our tiler did such a huge poo in our (only remaining) toilet that it blocked completely until I managed to get an emergency plumber out the next morning... Imagine our joy.

But if I had banned him from using the loo where would he have done it? Would he have been a bear in the woods?

Coulddowithanap · 02/07/2016 00:12

I have done building work in the past. Tea and coffee is great, biscuits is a nice bonus. However we did have some great customers who owned a restaurant and would make us a proper cooked lunch, like a roast or something. Another would bake delicious cakes and leave us a slice out for us in the afternoon. And another would make us bacon sandwiches.

The ones who fed us well were all regular customers that we had been to over the years and would never expect lunch.

It is nice to be offered to sit inside at a table with a cuppa to eat our packed lunch.

Coulddowithanap · 02/07/2016 00:14

(Excuse any odd typos, I'm half asleep!)

EttaJ · 02/07/2016 00:24

You don't have to of course but it would be really nice to do so. Also I can't believe that some people are such twats they don't let workmen use their toilet?! That's so petty.

QuestionableMouse · 02/07/2016 01:46

Round here I'd offer sandwiches or something like- we're a fair distance from any sort of supermarket or takeaway!

In town I wouldn't offer food, but would offer tea/biscuits.

Seren85 · 02/07/2016 01:57

I really thought this was going to be about a friend of mine. A joiner. He got a massive sandwich lunch at a job last week and was gobsmacked so today he jokingly posted on Facebook about no free lunch. Not expected at all. Brews and biscuits, although loads of people even bring their own travel kettle. I have done sausage butties before now because I was at home and it smelled so good I felt guilty. Well received but clearly not expected, packed lunches went uneaten so they obviously weren't expecting to be fed.

meowli · 02/07/2016 02:04

Preferred biscuit? I'm thinking dark choc hobnobs, pink wafers and crunch creams?

Not sure about the dark choc hobnobs - a bit niche? Pink wafers too insubstantial for a day's work. How about substituting milk choc digestives and shortbread fingers? Crunch creams delish!!

Veryveryveryfedup · 02/07/2016 02:11

It might be nice to offer, always good to have a happy, indulged person! But it wouldn't be expected. And also be careful that they may not want the sandwiches, and sometimes won't want to do 'small talk'. Everyone is different. What would you want?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/07/2016 02:41

I always offered tea/coffee, biscuits if I had them, and if I was there over lunchtime and was making something for myself, I'd offer that too, purely because I'd feel really weird eating while they weren't!
Of course, most tradies bring their own lunch, or go off to a caf/pub/Maccers to get theirs - but I have had a couple of them take up the sandwich offer.

Here in Australia though, tradies rarely even accept the drink offer, in fact most look quite surprised to be offered! Not all of them, but it doesn't seem to be as common here as it is in the UK.

suchafuss · 02/07/2016 05:46

Once worked for a nationwide company of trades people doing work for insurance claims. One complaint I remember deali g with was that one of the tradesmen had 'tinkled on the toilet seat'. I had to tell him to be more careful

VioletBam · 02/07/2016 06:14

Is your DH my Irish Nan? She used to make them bacon butties on arrival and then at lunch, she'd have a pan of lamb stew ready for them. They loved her.

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