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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To worry about 3 yr olds wearing ties?

71 replies

thearty1 · 01/07/2016 22:05

AIBU worrying about the safety of 30 three years olds having to wear ties in their nursery class? This coming September's nursery class (where my DS will be starting) will be the first time where ties have become a compulsory part of the uniform.
The school is recovering from a bad offsted report, and has brought in a new head who is apparently trying to run a tight ship, and the new uniform rules come into effect this September.

This is my first child, who at 3 years old, along with his friends of the same age are a bit wobbly, like to play wrestle, get confused with sharing and other emotional issues. In a class of 30, I believe there will be one full time teacher and just 1 member of support staff.

Am I being unreasonable worrying about the safety of young children wearing ties? I'm thinking of questioning the school about it, but will the school just think I'm a troublesome mother before we've even started?

OP posts:

doesntmatterwhoyouare · 02/07/2016 17:26

I surprised people fine this so.strange we wore ties in reception and I was only a week past turning four. It use to be the norm in loads of schools.

Socksey · 02/07/2016 17:32

My DS wore a tie at 3. It was on an elastic. He lost it and had a proper one at 4.
I can't see the problem. ... the kids in schools that require them are highly supervised... they could trip on laces or their own feet.... the world is a hazard at 3.
It did look cute and as he's known no different, it's never bothered him.

CecilyP · 02/07/2016 17:40

If youryou're as old as me, it was the norm not to wear uniform at state primary school which you started the term after your fifth birthday, and nursery schools barely existed. So I think I might be forgiven for thinking the world has gone mad for expecting 3 year olds to wear ties - like they can't be expected to be children any more. And if they are too young for real ties, they have to wear pretend ties like elasticated or clip ons as heaven fofend a 3 year old should be seen without a tie!

Hygellig · 02/07/2016 18:55

I started state infant school in 1983 and there was no uniform. We had one later on in primary school. I think the boys had to wear ties but not the girls. I don't know when uniforms became ubiquitous.

SingingSands · 02/07/2016 19:01

What is a tie even for? It's a pointless outdated piece of clothing. And they can be pretty disgusting after a day at school. DH doesn't even wear one to work, it's an infection control risk when he is seeing patients.

Crunchymum · 02/07/2016 19:13

My DD is in preschool, they are asked to wear the school colours but it's pretty lax. Just navy jogging bottoms and a jumper or t shirt of school colour. Even the actual school uniform is tie free.

There are 30-ish kids, 1 actual teacher, 1 nursery nurse and 2 TA's. Any trips rely on parent help.

Crunchymum · 02/07/2016 19:14

I wouldn't be having my preschooler in a tie!! No way....

Chrisinthemorning · 02/07/2016 19:17

DS is at an independent school. We chose it for lots of reasons despite the stupid 1950s uniform. It's a fantastic school. He bounces in every morning without looking back. He knows all his phonic sounds and numbers after 2 terms. He loves it. I'm happy to pay and dress him in his cute but stupid uniform to have such a happy boy.

Hulababy · 02/07/2016 19:21

Dd wore a tie when she first started school - so 4. Never had any issue with it and by the first half term pretty much every child in the class could tie and untie their own too.

I am not particularly keen on ties for primary school uniform - it was dd's uniform but I chose the school for many other reasons rather gab whether they had a tie or not. But they'd never had any safety issues regarding the ties in their history.

I know some secondary schools have moved to clip on - but that's to protect from deliberate misuse of ties. Just like police, prison guards and some teachers have.

Some primaries have elastic ties but that's for ease of wear reasons rather than safety.

BertrandRussell · 02/07/2016 19:29

It is utterly ridiculous to put small children in ties. It is even more ridiculous to put girls in ties, harking back to the days when in order to get an education, girls had to emulate boys as much as possible.

BertrandRussell · 02/07/2016 19:31

" He knows all his phonic sounds and numbers after 2 terms. He loves it. I'm happy to pay and dress him in his cute but stupid uniform to have such a happy boy."

LaurieMarlow · 02/07/2016 19:45

A uniform like this shows such lack of understanding about the needs of little children and what the right environment to develop holistically.

I simply couldn't consider this a good school for these reasons and wouldn't send my child there.

Chris, I'd be looking at more than the academics. There's much, much more to education than this.

Chrisinthemorning · 02/07/2016 20:05

Not sure why I'm being frowned at. I believe there is a lot more to education, that's why he goes there. It's lovely. He's very happy and settled. He has lots of friends there. They do lots of playing, there is no academic pressure at all. It's just a lovely happy school (with a stupid uniform!)
I don't understand why people are being funny about it? Is it because it's a fee paying school? Our local state school was ok too but more academic, larger classes and less focus on learning through play, more on meeting government standards. I was worried he would feel pressure at the state school. When I went to visit they were all practising their writing 3 weeks into term. Our school was far more play based. He's going into reception and they are 17 to 2 adults.

Chrisinthemorning · 02/07/2016 20:06

Lol at infection control risk btw. DS doesn't do surgery yet as he's 4.

VestalVirgin · 02/07/2016 20:07

That is so ridiculous, do you really want him to go there? Does not sound safe or sensible to me. Dipping in paint, water, sand, the loo?!? Yuk

Yeah, there's a reason ties are only worn in office environments by adults. (Of course, wearing ties in and of itself is stupid, as I doubt they are still needed for their original purpose which, as I recall, was something like keeping the collar in place)

3 year olds should be able to paint and play with sand, not be tiny office employees.

VestalVirgin · 02/07/2016 20:19

I surprised people fine this so.strange we wore ties in reception and I was only a week past turning four. It use to be the norm in loads of schools.

My "excuse": I'm from Germany.

If I told anyone here that tie-wearing at 3 is considered normal in Britain, people would accuse me of making it up.

We like to think that the British are weird, and very stereotypical about being ladies and gentlemen and such, but 3 year olds in ties ... is a bit much.

OvariesForgotHerPassword · 02/07/2016 20:24

We did when I was 3 (97 so not a bazillion years ago) and I don't remember anyone getting hurt by their tie. DD starts school nursery next year at 3 and a bit and will have a tie too. I don't mind, I think it looks very smart as part of school uniform.

Gileswithachainsaw · 02/07/2016 20:25

clearly never tied to a bus or "peanuted" or had it pulled and snapped back by the other kids.

you were lucky

Chrisinthemorning · 02/07/2016 21:02

I've just re read the op. I was worried about dS starting too. I don't think the uniform is as big a worry as your baby, going off to a new place without you. I can imagine the bad ofsted, ratio of 1 to 15 etc compounds this so just wanted to say- it'll be fine op xx

BertrandRussell · 03/07/2016 00:33

Tie wearing for 3 years olds- or for any primary school children in the state sector is not the norm.(although some do it)

It's one of the things that private schools do to make themselves look "special" and to brainwash parents.

Chrisinthemorning · 03/07/2016 07:11

Why do you think parents are brainwashed?
What about?

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