To express my disappointment in my children's headteacher

[EllenDegenerate]

My DD who is seven had s class assembly this morning in the school hall. All of the parents of her class were invited as were all of the pupils and teachers in the primary school.
The assembly was lovely, the school is a catholic one and so the message was regarding growing in Gods love and being kind to one another etc.

At the end of the assembly the headteacher thanks DDs class for their efforts and congratulates them on the assembly.
She then proceeds to call four children from year six to the front of the hall to present them with awards for various things.
One of the children called to the front is Ella* the sister of one of my DS's friends. She's known to be quite high spirited and perhaps even naughty on occasion but the only reason that I know this is because her mum has told me. She has never been discussed between other parents, at the school gate etc as far as I'm aware.

The headteacher hands out the awards to the first three children in year six. She then asks Ella to "come and stand here next to me for this rare occurrence" Ella does so and the headteacher places her arm around Ella even though she is visually uncomfortable with this attention.
She carries on; "this award is being presented to Ella due to her efforts to improve her attitude and behaviour recently. She seems to have had a change of personality very conveniently just in time so that we can wave her off to Saint Hilda's*" (local catholic secondary school)
At this my jaw is swinging open. Ella stands, shoulders hunched, blushing, headteacher a arm still around her shoulders.
Unbelievably she carries on "In fact Ella even arrived in school on time to make it to this assembly today!"
At this I glance around, incredulous and note the sniggers from the assembled teaching staff and parents from my own DDs class.

Am I being unreasonable in my response of almost visceral disgust at the headteachers lack of professionalism in making a spectacle of Ella in front of parents, teachers and her schoolmates?

Nobody else seemed to react other than to chuckle along at the 'joke'

Am I being oversensitive? I feel that I would like to express my disappointment to the headteacher directly but having seen her actions I fear for her reaction towards my children if I did so. (Cowardly)

I'm just having trouble getting my head around what I witnessed.

Well I was privately educated too and it definitely happened at the schools I attended - although not in front of parents. Both public humiliation in assemblies and 'banter' in the classes, although I can't remember a combo of the two

There were a small number of unprofessional teachers then and hopefully a smaller number now in both sectors. I imagine the HT's comments were well-meant but I still think they shouldn't have been said in that forum.

The Head sounds like an arse. I can't understand where this thread has gone in 3 short pages. She's year 6, so 11 years old at most, how can she "banter" with a grown woman, an authority figure, in those circumstances?!

After all, Worra is correct. It is Ella and her parents who matter. Not the headteacher nor myself.
I'm not actually sure this is true. I've seen a lot of examples from children where the recipient of comments has claimed that the fact that it doesn't bother them means that it isn't a problem. However, it can be a problem as it shows a whole cohort of children that that behaviour is acceptable and might happen to them, or at least that's what they might take from it. We had an incident once in a school I taught in where three boys were suspended for what was deemed to be sexual assault. The 'victim' of the assault insisted that it was just a form of banter, but other girls who witnessed the incident (and were in fact the ones who reported it) said that it made them feel uncomfortable and unsafe. This is really what I meant by my earlier comments about 'banter' which seems to have moved away from its actual meaning and into something much more unpleasant, at least in schools. It was common where I used to teach for example for pupils to 'banter' with each other about race (almost always the majority white children initiating the 'banter'). I also had pupils admit that they went along with 'banter' because they thought it would be easier than stating how much it upset them. (I'm not a fan of this culture, as you may have guessed!). In short, 'banter', even if it is banter in the genuine sense, needs to be carefully thought through if it is to be carried out in front of an audience who may not understand what exactly is the dynamic.