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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

smelly husband after evening drinking

89 replies

tulip2004 · 29/06/2016 20:07

hello, I am asking for opinions as I think I may be being harsh. I don't drink alcohol (don't like the taste) and I know I have a sensitive nose to all smells. I worry about my husband as he often smells really badly of alcohol the day following drinking. not just boozy breathe but oozing out of pores smell. He says this is normal after a few drinks and but I think he smells more now than he used to drinking the same amount and it concerns me a) that his liver is not coping making him smell worse and b) that he is oblivious to it as I would want to know if I smelt like that and c) quite frankly I don't want others thinking he is is complete wino. He currently works from home but may soon be back in an office and I don't want him smelling like that at work - personally I think its unpleasant and unprofessional. I find the smell makes me want to be sick and a massive turn off (he can't understand that I don't want sex the morning after the night before) But as i say I know my nose is sensitive to all smells stinky so wonder if I am over reacting or is it something that others may not notice or if I would not notice if I drank myself. He also doesn't think him smelling like this the following day is a bad smell and thinks I just don't like it because I don't drink and I don't like alcohol. I can't think this is true but made me wonder if IABU? Is it just me who thinks it is a horrible smell and do others like it or just really not mind it? Should I just shut up and let him get one with it?

OP posts:
Kr1stina · 30/06/2016 20:04

Lots of alcoholics do sport and take vitamins

Tulip - are you unconcerned about how much he drinks?

tulip2004 · 30/06/2016 20:09

Yes massively concerned. His behaviour changes when he drinks. He is an amazing man when he's sober and tbh normal after a bottle of wine bug his mood can change rapidly after that especially if hd senses that I gong like him drinking more. It's a vicious circle. I don't like our children seeing him drunk so gave asked him not to drink around them anymore or In the daytime.

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 30/06/2016 20:10

When he is drinking, is he a nice drunk or a mean drunk?

tulip2004 · 30/06/2016 20:11

He can become very verbally mean

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/06/2016 20:28

It does sound as though alcohol has taken over a bit and is affecting you adversely too Tulip. It's no fun living with a heavy drinker, especially when they turn nasty and unreasonable. It's heartbreaking really as you know the real them is inside there somewhere, the person you love.

If you can persuade him to have a general MOT at the doctors it might be a start and he could ask for a liver function test. Perhaps that will be a wakeup call for him.

I hope you are ok. Flowers

tulip2004 · 30/06/2016 20:37

He drank heavily when we got together and I naively thought he would cut down with the responsibilities of children etc. He has cut down but still drinks loads although he thinks he doesn't. He knows it affects me as o don't like the children seeing their dad like that and it's confusing for them as he is a different person when drunk . I am now at the point that I get anxious before we go out. He picks up on this and it makes him cross and then he drinks and rarely ends well. It doesn't help that I don't drink so am always the driver do he has never needed to Limit himself to drive. However I don't think he is able to not drink in social situations

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/06/2016 22:35

It's good that he has realised he was drinking too much and has been able to cut down. You can nudge him in the right direction but ultimately he has to decide to change his habits when he admits there is a problem.

It makes me sad that you say that he picks up on your anxiety, it makes him cross and then he drinks.. Please remember none of this is your fault, you're not making him drink or asking him to verbally abuse you.

Sometimes people do a dry month, going for a whole month without drinking. Partly to detox and partly to prove to themselves that they can abstain. Perhaps he might be willing to try that?

HooseRice · 30/06/2016 22:41

My friend and I got stuck into her ex DH's whisky after a night on the tiles. I could smell it on my skin the following day.

I can drink a skinful when I'm in the mood but it only starts coming out of my pores when I've properly overdone it.

Kallyno · 30/06/2016 22:53

He has a significant drinking problem and he is very much in denial.
I think you might also be a little bit in denial, OP, even though you are concerned. I completely understand why you would be. You have a tough road ahead, OP, sorry Flowers

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 01/07/2016 07:47

Sounds to me like he uses your anxiety as an excuse to drink. This is a red flag.

juststrummin · 10/05/2020 16:09

My SO, also smells really bad if she has had 1 or 2 glasses of wine. And she drinks most everyday. I can't stand it anymore and have asked her to stop, but she just says it's not her problem but mine because I'm too sensitive. This is a hard one to deal with

cathandlersupreme · 10/05/2020 16:26

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Butterflymummy1986 · 24/03/2021 07:26

Hi I'm currently googling THE EXACT SAME THING this morning for my fiance. I'm the same exactly.. with sensitive smell sensory. But I can smell the wine from the glass which is bad enough .. (I drink occasionally and at most perhaps 2 glasses) but then after a while I can smell it on him and recently.hes been sleeping on sofa as he stays up till gone 2- 3am and the lounge smells so bad in the morning. With my fiance it's a bottle of wine religiously every single night so is clearly a build up of toxins. I feel for ypu as I'm struggling with this now.

SofiaMichelle · 24/03/2021 07:31

ZOMBIE THREAD

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