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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

smelly husband after evening drinking

89 replies

tulip2004 · 29/06/2016 20:07

hello, I am asking for opinions as I think I may be being harsh. I don't drink alcohol (don't like the taste) and I know I have a sensitive nose to all smells. I worry about my husband as he often smells really badly of alcohol the day following drinking. not just boozy breathe but oozing out of pores smell. He says this is normal after a few drinks and but I think he smells more now than he used to drinking the same amount and it concerns me a) that his liver is not coping making him smell worse and b) that he is oblivious to it as I would want to know if I smelt like that and c) quite frankly I don't want others thinking he is is complete wino. He currently works from home but may soon be back in an office and I don't want him smelling like that at work - personally I think its unpleasant and unprofessional. I find the smell makes me want to be sick and a massive turn off (he can't understand that I don't want sex the morning after the night before) But as i say I know my nose is sensitive to all smells stinky so wonder if I am over reacting or is it something that others may not notice or if I would not notice if I drank myself. He also doesn't think him smelling like this the following day is a bad smell and thinks I just don't like it because I don't drink and I don't like alcohol. I can't think this is true but made me wonder if IABU? Is it just me who thinks it is a horrible smell and do others like it or just really not mind it? Should I just shut up and let him get one with it?

OP posts:
EcclefechanTart · 29/06/2016 21:47

My DH has this too. The smell is very strong and comes from the pores, not breath/clothes etc. He doesn't even need to drink very much for this to happen - 3 or 4 drinks is enough. It seems worse when he is tired, for some reason. He is definitely not an alcoholic.

cherrytree63 · 29/06/2016 21:49

I totally get you. I suffer from GORD, the smell on my OH's breath when he's had a skinful triggers my reflux!
Also the body smell, it's like a sickly sweet yeasty smell.
Not to mention late night kebab breath!

Dontyoulovecalpol · 29/06/2016 21:49

The smell is quite common- I worked in hotel cleaning rooms at uni and the rooms and people often smelt like that where they'd had a big night.

I don't really know if yabu. I suppose you have to decide whether you can Continue a relationship with someone who drinks to levels you don't like?

Original poster
tulip2004 · 29/06/2016 21:49

thankyou everyone. He used to be a much heavier drinker but has cut down. He does have a huge tolerance though and can drink lots and yes it does cause issues between us but he is addressing them. I just worry about the smell as he just thinks this is a completely normal part of drinking.

OP posts:
Dontyoulovecalpol · 29/06/2016 21:50

Btw is he stressed or anything? Anything unusual happening?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/06/2016 21:51

He's probably drinking a LOT more than he's admitting to. You need to really neck it back ime to have that sort of smell.

Original poster
tulip2004 · 29/06/2016 21:52

yes, lot of huge work / financial stress at the moment. It doesn't help.

OP posts:
MissBattleaxe · 29/06/2016 21:57

I worked with a few people who smelled like this. One of them was definitely an aloholic and it came out of her pores.

Is he being honest about how much he drinks? Usually after a few pints my DH doesn't smell the next day, but then he hardly drinks at all.

When it's oozing out of pores, it usually means wayyy too much is being drunk regularly, or they have just got back from a very major session.

My guess is he's not only drinking too much ( the amount you described is huge) but he may be drinking secretly too.

Littlelondoner · 29/06/2016 22:06

Speaking from experience from both Dp and I also on occasions after a very heavy session. We are both regular drinkers. Only way to get rid is a very hot bath or a work out then shower. You need to get swetty to literally sweat it out through pores.

I was getting over a flu bug I had over winter and a barman in my local made me a hot totty with this super strong whisky. It did the trick on making me feel 100x better and clearing my sinus'. But I could smell it in my pours for days afterwards it was vile..!! I literally could not get rid of it.

Some types of alcohol are more potent than others.

pointythings · 29/06/2016 22:09

A bottle of normal wine plus 4 cans of Carlsberg is more like 18 units. That is more than my DH drank at his very worst. He went in for routine bloods one morning after a night last that, they called him in a panic to ensure he wasn't driving because he was testing way, way over the limit. That really is hazardous levels of alcohol use. My DH is still drinking a lot - 6-8 units a night these days - but nothing like that any more.

Weekly maximum recommendation is now 14 units for men and women, so he is well over that in one session. He has a big drink problem, just like my DH still does.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 29/06/2016 22:12

Does he drive? It sounds like he might well still be over the limit the next day.

Wolfiefan · 29/06/2016 22:12

He's not addressing it if he's still drinking such amounts.
I'm afraid he sounds like an alcoholic. The fact he used to drink more is no defence. You need to decide if you want to live with someone with a drink problem.
Sorry.

whois · 29/06/2016 22:18

DO says I smell of alcohol if I go out drinking and flop into bed drunk. I don't think I do.

I think he smells of booze when he has been out drinking. He doesn't think he does.

I suspect when you're the one drinking you can't smell it!

Thingywhatsit · 29/06/2016 22:19

Is it the smell of death you are smelling? Is it vile? If it is I would guess that his liver isn't able to process the alcohol, which means that's it's impaired from too much heavy drinking. You say he was a heavy drinker is he being true to you?

I would get him to go to Drs and get a liver function test. His ggt will indicate how much he is drinking....

I used to work with alcoholics so I know the smell well

Original poster
tulip2004 · 29/06/2016 22:40

he is drinking more at the moment because he is incredibly stressed. He can go without alcohol for a week or so but when he drinks will nearly always polish off a bottle of wine. sometimes I wished I drank too so that we could share a bottle so he didn't drink so much.

OP posts:
BabyGanoush · 29/06/2016 22:46

I hate that smell.

Have told DH it is like a yeasty/fermented/rotten yoghurt smell.

Hate hate hate it

And brushing teeth does not help.

Mind you, I can smell if DC had garlic for lunch, or if DH had onion in his lunch salad, so maybe I am just a bit... Sniffy ?!

Original poster
tulip2004 · 29/06/2016 22:51

does anyone find the smell nice? IANBU am I saying it is a massive turnoff and unpleasant?

OP posts:
Notcontent · 29/06/2016 22:59

I also know the smell you mean. It's a very distinctive smell. I think going to work smelling like that on a regular basis is not ok - people will notice.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/06/2016 23:02

Why are you worried if you are being unreasonable when clearly he has a serious drink problem? He's the one with the problem not you. Why would you drinking make him drink less?Confused

ImperialBlether · 29/06/2016 23:02

No, it is a real turn off. It's not a smell anyone would like.

He must be spending quite a bit on alcohol - perhaps £200 per month? That must be making his financial problems even greater.

Wolfiefan · 29/06/2016 23:04

Ignore the smell. He is drinking far too much. That is the issue.

EllsTeeth · 29/06/2016 23:11

The smell is vile. Occasionally I smell it on my husband after he's drunk a lot the night before (which is not often). I went into the room after he'd gone to work one morning last week (after a big work night out the night before) and the smell in the room made me gag, and he'd left about half an hour before. I had to open all the windows. Ugh. YDNBU!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/06/2016 23:14

A strong foul smell coming from an alcoholic is a sign of liver failure. It's described as a sweet acetone, sometimes sickly yeasty smell from pores. It means the liver can't process all the alcohol.

Original poster
tulip2004 · 29/06/2016 23:17

to answer some questions, yes he does get hangovers but not terrible ones. He needs to sleep it off and is generally a bit grumpy the next day. He does not need to drive in the mornings and I have bought him a breathalyser so he does not driveover the limit the following morning. Occasionally he cannot drive but at the moment it does not impact on work as he is working from home. It only impacts the occasional sat morning when he cannot take out son to football I have to take him when I return home from taking dd to swimming. Yes I know that is shit. He probably spends £20-30 a week on alcohol and yes this is way more than he should spend on it but he only buys £5 bottles of wine.

OP posts:
Naicehamshop · 29/06/2016 23:29

If he goes in to work in an office with that smell hanging around him them people will be v quick to notice and criticise - it will reflect v badly on him. He has a drink problem and needs to address it asap!