re: mother's reaction to list of baby names?

[MyBreadIsEggy]

First of all, I know this has been done to death, so sorry!!
DH and I already have a Dd and have found out from our 20 week scan that we are having a DS this time
We both wrote our own separate lists of names we liked, swapped lists, crossed the ones off the we really didn't like and then put the remaining names together into one final list.
My DM looked at the list on Sunday, and had a less than enthusiastic reaction None of the names on the list are particularly "out there" or "yoounique" (think: Jacob, Rhys, Caleb).
She made it very clear that none of the names we liked were suitable, or "right" for her grandson
I said in the politest way possible, that it doesn't matter if my mother likes the name we choose, as long as DH and I like it. AIBU to think that I am right in saying that?!
DM seems to think I am being wholly unreasonable, and she should be able to have her say in the baby's name

I always figured it was best not to share your name list. Just present the baby once born - and state his/her name.

I like some of the alternative names on the list. Here is mine

Tinky Winky,
Dipsy
La-la,
Po -

I don't think you can ever really choose a name until you see the baby

I know that's a popular opinion, but I've never really understood it.

For me, all newborns are scrunchy, red blank canvases and are capable of taking on any name you give them.

When my babies were born I never looked at them and thought "Oh yes, you definitely look like a [chosen name]". They didn't look like anything. They looked like little strangers and it took a while before either of my two actually inhabited their name.

a bit housing estate

You sound a silly twat

YABU for sharing your list of baby names. When you choose, announce his name: "His name is..." That's it.

*Rhys and caleb though are a bit housing estate

What an offensive comment.*

Yeah.

I'd have agreed with them if it had been Jayden or Courtney.

One of my neighbours has a daughter called Miley - she's about 5 - and and older child called Rhianna.

diddle my DF did that with DD1's name. He said I should reverse the names so she didn't get picked on at school. She was 4 days old, baby blues had just hit, and I burst into tears. Cheers, DF!

"Caleb, a companion of Moses and Joshua, being noted for his astute powers of observation and fearlessness in the face of overwhelming odds"

My priest (Father Matthew Caleb) will probably find it hilarious when I tell him on Sunday it's apparently "a bit housing estate"

Decoy names have to be something you know that she'll hate, otherwise it won't work. By the time you have the baby in your arms and say that you've decided on something less outre, there'll be a huge sigh of relief.

Suggestions for names that tend to provoke extreme reactions.

Lancelot
Mungo
Aengus [though not obviously if you are Scottish]
Tadgh [unpronounceable for the most part unless you are Irish]
Lucious [after the character in Empire]
Any name from Game of Thrones - I don't watch it so cant make suggestions

Billy Bob
Buddy
Hank
Troy
Zane
Skyler

Note: no personal opinion on these names, they just always cause debate

Decoy names have to be something you know that she'll hate, otherwise it won't work. By the time you have the baby in your arms and say that you've decided on something less outre, there'll be a huge sigh of relief.

Suggestions for names that tend to provoke extreme reactions.

Lancelot
Mungo
Aengus [though not obviously if you are Scottish]
Tadgh [unpronounceable for the most part unless you are Irish]
Lucious [after the character in Empire]
Any name from Game of Thrones - I don't watch it so cant make suggestions

Billy Bob
Buddy
Hank
Troy
Zane
Skyler

Note: no personal opinion on these names, they just always cause debate

I'm loving the 'decoy' names. Some things are crying out for invention

Rhys and caleb though are a bit housing estate.

You're a bit of a twat.

When I was expecting I just told people if its a boy its going to be called "X" if its a girl its going to be called"Y". I said it very firmly so people were reluctant to comment.
A PP said all names suit babies they grow into them. I had two boys names sorted and decided on for my DTs but when I looked at them I decided that neither of them "looked like a Dominic" so I had to have a re-think
He still doesn't look like a Dominic and never will!

Whyyyyyyyyyyyy do people do this? We never found out sex or mentioned any names....babies were born and we said DD/D's is here and there name is....xyz. you would be hard pushed to find someone who would make comments once you told them your baby name. But if your asking or just mentioning then you are going to get opinions

Tread your list of decoy names is hilarious to me... I dated one, another is the name of a friend's younger son, another is a classmate of my DD's and a fourth was someone I attended school with.

Some fabulous names around me...

I never know why people tell others the whole list of names.

Just pick a name, call baby that name and just announce it problem solved.

People are generally polite.

The last ridiculously named baby I was aware of, everyone was saying what a godawful name it was, and the minute the proud parents came in the room, everyone started smiling and talking about the weather, etc, but none of us could meet eachother's eyes when the proud parents referred to poor baby by her name.

Betting has already started on what the next one will be called.

When I was pregnant with DC1 my DM informed me that she had 'put up' with some 'silly' names from other members of the family but was trusting me to know better. Sensing that she just might think she had some say in our choice of name we told her right up until the birth that it would be Kylie Maddona Britney for a girl and Jason-Donnovan Kevin-Keegan for a boy. I'm sure she knew these were decoys but she still seemed quite relieved with the actual name.

Decoy names work well. Our niece did this and managed to keep it up for her entire pregnancy. We were utterly convinced the baby was going to be Zeus or Thor because "They're really masculine names"

When baby boy popped out a perfectly ordinary name was revealed and we were all so relieved it didn't occur to us to say anything other than "wonderful"

I lived on a housing estate. I'm a nice person and have spent my entire career working very hard to help others. I hope no one gives their baby my name (happens to colleagues all the time due to the nature of our job). I wouldn't want the family to think that it's a nice name for their dd when I've been brought up on a housing estate. They will literally be giving the child a name that's a bit housing estate. I need to start telling people that I'm pure scum just in case. My parents rented from the council, the neighbours were called Rhys and Caleb I'm a bit housing estate.

Exhaust at "I'm a bit housing estate"

It is a real pet hate of mine when people comment negatively on other people's baby name choices (unless their opinions have been asked). I learnt this the hard way with DC1 and subsequently never mentioned potential names again.

People who start asking relatives for their opinions on names and sharing their thoughts with them should stop being amazed when the relatives give their opinions.
When you are pregnant you have to learn to keep stuff to yourself more unless you actually want to hear other people's opinions and have them get stroppy when you ignore them.

Do tell us, what names does she think are suitable for her grandson?

Judy she seems to think that he will have a Polish names....purely because I "abandoned my roots" when I had Dd.
(Dd has a Polish middle name, but English first name!)