10yo dd and my make up

[ditavonteesed]

grrr, I am fed up of having the same argument time and time again. 10yo dd lacks in confidence which we are working on and she is loads better. However she started nicking my makeup a couple of years ago and every time she promises she will never do it again. I bought her her own suitable subtle makeup to wear at weekends if she wants but still she nicks mine. So at the weekend I decided at 42 that maybe it was time I learned how to do foundation, on the way to school I noticed that dd has a slightly orange tinge to her complexion, I made her wash her face when we got to school and have left her quite upset as she can;t bear being told off, this is pretty much the only naughty thing she ever does. I explained to her that if you don;t want to get told off you don;t repeatedly do the thing that you have been told not to. She used my eyeliner last night and swore to me not 12 hours ago that she would not do it again. Short of getting a safe to keep my make up in I don;t know what else to do. So am I being too harsh? She worships zoella and spends weekends playing around with make up which I have no problem with (in fact she does it better than me) but I just want her to stop nicking my makeup and trying to get one over on me and wear it to school. I don;t mind makeup I don't see it as a big evil, it is something fun to mess around with. So any tips for the big conversation about stealing and trust and 10yos not wearing makeup to school which is going to happen tonight?

Dd 2 had terrible skin at 10 start of her acne poor kid the creams they prescribe for young kids is rubbish in our experience dds confidence plummeted was a shame, I can imagine it is the same for any child with a skin condition.
10 is a funny age they are not little girls but not teenagers they become self aware of this and that and also the start of puberty girls are maturing faster than we did, you have 2 issues here the nicking of make up which i think you need to tackle first it isnt hers to take she needs to understand boundries and her self esteem which is trickier to handle

thanks for the thoughts everyone, I think we will start by having a chat later and see where we go from there.

Good luck op. trip do you have dds?

I think some of the teen attitudes an emotions kick in earlier than they did when I was 10 (nearly 40 yrs ago eep!) My DD 10/11 wears make up and does the whole hog its not something she has from me - I don't bother at all on a daily basis. She is very interested in health and beauty and I recall around 13 being the same with my sister of 11. I think kids vary, we have had the chat of does she need it or not and she is very clear its not, she knows the rule of "not in school" and I will be enforcing that in secondary as well till at least yr 10 or trying too. She is very professional at applying following utube - far better than me and also v conscious of foundation colour and chin lines etc. In fact she showed me a video of her putting her make up - a) she was pro at doing it and b) she taught herself to film, edit and speed up etc a video - sometimes I can hardly believe she is ONLY 10!! She is a perfectionist though and doesn't like to fail as such - but we are working on that too.

I think it sounds like there is an issue on "professional " make up vs play makeup and I do buy good quality make up for Cait and she buys some of her own with her allowance which is paid monthly so she knows if she spends all in one go then that's it for a month. Much of hers is better than mine which helps but I do allow her to use mine but it must be kept clean and tidy and put back. But I also borrow hers too!!

This is a bit of a tangent but there is a financial aspect to considering that the use of 'beauty products'/cosmetics is essential - and that it is to be expected that children who are in primary school will want and be allowed to use make-up on a daily basis.

There's another thread on Higher Education where a mother is noting that her daughter who is at university spent £150 on cosmetics recently - that's just make-up, not having her hair cut or buying clothes.

I think we are teaching children who are growing up in a world where they may end up with low wages and high housing costs that these products aren't luxuries - they are necessities.

So if you give a 10 year old an average amount of pocket money and they opt to spend some of it on stuff they wear on occasions or to birthday parties, that's one thing. Kitting them out with expensive stuff on the basis that this is a household essential on a par with having toothpaste or soap is rather different.