I can cope with music... I can cope with kids...but I don't need to hear your PARENTING

[Pendu]

Sitting in a cafe , following on from some other threads about peppa pig etc being played loudly in cafes ...... This wouldn't bother me but ooooo myyy goooood WHY do people need to partake in "loud parenting"???!?? !!!

I have three feral kids, I'm not judgey - I'm always "that mum" running around like a blue arsed fly and therefore I understand there is usually more than meets the eye in situations but Jesus, I don't CARE if your little marshmallow honey puff "doesn't usually do this at home" (I can only presume the parent means eating some cake or something) and frigging LOUDLY discussing with honey puff what pics of yesterday's jovial adventure to send to nanny or whatever. Your sat right next to honey puff, I don't need to hear it across the cafe ! We don't all need to hear how you've discussed the rules of behaviour before coming out, how well honey puff did yesterday .... I don't mean this person is a little loud, I mean they are literally looking around and speaking like a politician looking for some kind of medal or something.

I just can't stand this type of thing - it's about the only thing that irritates the hell out of me (so now I have to moan on MN).

I did quite a good loud underperformance parenting moment recently.
I was picking my youngest, then about 18m, from church crèche. In the background were two other mums discussing very loudly how their children only drink water and how squash was practically toxic.
Neither of my children will drink water. Believe me, I have tried. My youngest, in particular, will happily get to the point of dehydration rather than drink water.
I handed him his drink and said "Here DS, have your toxic drink." in a slightly louder voice than I intended. A shocked silence ensued.
I am having to do a bit of CBeebies Presenter type parenting at the moment. DS2 is just over two and very behind with his speech and I'm having to follow some speech therapy rules. Fine at home, but I'm finding it hard in public as I just feel a bit silly!

DH does performance parenting, it would be the end of our relationship except DS can be a proper little tyke so I understand DH wants to show off when DS is actually behaving himself.

Oh Cigars I remember having to do something called OWLing (I think that was it, from the Hannan book?) with DS when he was 2 ish. I was rubbish at it but DH really got into it, especially in public.

Earlier today I was sitting outside school and I could hear a parent saying to their ds so loudly 'wow your sports day stickers are coming off your shirt' 'I can't believe you got first IN EVERY SINGLE RACE' looks around to see who is noticing.

My DH is terrible for doing this by accident, he really does just want to use the opportunity to teach our boys but it's embarrassing when I'm in asda trying to do the shopping and all I can hear is "what's this? Yes that's right, BROCCOLI"!