To Think You Don't Throw Someone Else's Child Into The Pool?

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Genuinely interested if I'm just being precious. My son is 4, it's obvious he can swim, so I didn't have the added need to be annoyed at the idea he could have struggled in the water. There was a man with his 3 daughters and they were jumping in, sometimes the dad was throwing them in. My DS was then jumping in, he stopped to look at the girls being thrown in, the man said would he like a go, DS looked at me and I said no, he's fine but thanks anyway. It was left. He kept jumping in and the girls kept jumping/being thrown in... Then all of a sudden he grabbed my son and threw him in laughed and said 'gotch ya'. DS laughed and found it fun, but I did already say no... AIBU to think you don't do that?

I'm sitting on the fence on this one as I believe you shouldn't go against what a child's parent has said BUT on the other hand your son was showing and interest and could swim. Be interesting to see what others say

Was there a particular reason you said no?
I don't think he should go against your wishes but if he obviously wanted a go and could swim what was the harm in him joining in?
Sometimes I say 'no' before I've even had a chance to think of the reason why!
So, sitting on the fence - YANBU to not want him to overrule you, whatever that rule is. But I think you might have BU to say no in the first placeZ

Have you never been on a caravan holiday?

I said no because I didn't like the idea of him hitting the water funny/hitting someone/hitting the side/inhaling water, etc. as I know I would just blame him!

No Owllady

Your son can swim, was already jumping in the pool himself and clearly wanted a turn of being thrown in.

Why say no?

Was it ghost dad?
There is always a bloke with his children at the side of the pool with loads of suncream on that never sinks in

Don't think its worth getting worked up about tbh. You were there and watching. Your son had fun.

I'm not worked up. I was just wondering if, when you've already said no, it's something you expect someone to do.

It's a bit odd, but he probably just thought you were being a bit miserable

In this case although he should have listened to you saying no as it was obvious your child wanted to join in and they were already jumping in I can't get too worked up about it

I think he shouldn't have, as you'd said no. But I think you should have said yes...

What happened to the MN mantra ......your child, you decide? The man was out of line ,op. YANBU? For all the reasons you listed , plus, he is your child and you said NO?

I've never heard that before - that's hilarious - your child, you decide.

I think when your son looked at you and you refused on his behalf it probably looked like he was nervous about it, not asking for permission. If he was still hovering around the man and wanting to join in, then it seems a fairly normal thing to do. You didn't really say that you didn't want it and why, you said he was fine, thank you. Just poor communication and no bad outcome, forget it (or next time state your wished more clearly).

I don't think he should have asked you if he was just going to do it anyway.

He shouldn't have done it if you'd said no.

Shame though, as it sounds like your DS wanted to join in the fun.

I don't think you should do it if the parent has already said no, though my view is possibly skewed by being the parent of a child with a medical condition that could be affected by this.

I don't pick her up at the moment so I wouldn't expect anyone else to especially if I'd already said not to.

Your child wanted to have a bit of fun, he can swim, I really dont see what the problem was?

You sound like a bit of a misery to be honest - most children who can swim well enjoy being thrown around in the pool and it sounds like your DS wanted to join in. However, you said 'no' and he should have taken notice of that.

Why didn't you just say yes? It's nice that he was including your son.

Your child, you decide

Is that the next milestone after Your Baby, Your Rules?

I think always check with the parents but I think your son, the girls and the Dad were all over excited. It's not ideal but your son loved it. Do pat yourself on the back for having a confident, swimming four year old though.

My twins are 9 and their favourite thing is being thrown in. Like your son they are happy for anyone to do it, always have been. Brace yourself for more of this in the future OP

In what planet is it ok for a total stranger to go against parental descion.

There could of being a very valid reason on why a parent has said no, the stranger had no way of knowing if it would have been an issue.

Some people choose to have fun with their children and include others. Nothing sinister. And some just sit there with a cats bum face and try and control everything.