Nothing to do with EU - am I a tight arse?

[IDoAllMyOwnStunts]

So DD (14) asks if her and another friend same age can do one of those Pretty Muddy 5k things in a few weeks time. No problem - £10 each child.

She then says they need an adult to go round with them as they are under 16. Other girls mum cannot take them as she is away that weekend. So I thought, ok, I will do it, as DD really wants to go.

The cost for me though is £20, meaning I'm spending £30 for me and DD, the other girl is spending £10. I am not arsed about doing it and am only going for DD.

So I tell DD that I will take her and friend around the course if we pay £20 total and her friend pays her tenner plus pays me £10 for half my admission.

DD says this isn't fair on her friend. I think I'm bring perfectly reasonable as her friend can't do it without me being there. Would you be put out at being asked to pay half of my cost so your child could participate?

DD won't even suggest this to her mate so we are at a stalemate.

Am I being a tight arse?

Yes.

Yes

'Fraid so

Tighter than a fishes derriere.

Unless £10 is going to make a big difference to your personal finances then, yes, you are being a massive tight arse. Spread some Pretty Muddy joy!

Yup, fraid so! Be glad your DD is into fitness and encourage her by joining in willingly.

Tbh if another mum came to me and said "Our kids can't do this without an adult, and the fee is £20 for me ,do you mind paying half?" or something like that...well actually if I found out my daughters friends mum was going too... and paying that much just for the sake of our daughters then I would offer to pay half and half! No I don't think you are being unreasonable, I would rather you do it than me for £10 LOL!

Completely. You do realise it's for Cancer research?

If you know the mum and would get an opportunity to mention it you could say "it's £20, do you want to do it or shall I?" and hope she offers, but I can see why your DD doesn't want to ask.

Yes
Terrible plan

Mark- the other mum can't go, she's away.

And yes of course I know it's for cancer research. They will still be getting their £20 whether I pay it all or what though .

I think it's tight tbh. When I look after friends kids I will generally take them places/feed them etc and often spend more than £10 and their parents do the same. I think the other mum should offer but in your position I would decline. I'm sure it will balance out if your dd sometimes does things with her friends family.

Are you really short of £10?

If not, then just put the question as suggested, but if nothing is offered, I would leave it at that.

Unless it's a massive part of your food budget, you would be, being incredibly tight.

No I'm not short of a tenner. I suppose I just feel I'm forced into doing something I'm not bothered about, and the whole thing will cost £30 instead of just £10 for DD.

But I accept most of you think my cunning plan is not as cunning as I thought. Bugger.

You are doing it for your daughter not the other girl. If the other girl wasn't coming, you would pay it all, yes?

If this is a pattern of the other parents expecting you to do and pay for everything, I take your point. If this is a one off, YABU.

Yes I think you are tight.

I think, if I could afford it, I would rather pay than put my daughter in what she thinks will be an embarrassing situation.

Your other option is to withdraw your daughter from the event.

However, if you can't afford it or it will make things tight, then I can see why you're put out.

Yes you are being very tight. I offer to pay for everything with my kids but it wouldn't occur to me to offer to pay half of the adult's admission.

So when a friend brings my kids to the cinema, should I offer to pay for half of the adult's ticket too? I'm pretty sure a lot of adults (including me) aren't going to the latest pixar by choice - they go to accompany their children.

If you can't afford it that is different - but I'm not sure how you'd get out of it without just withdrawing your child.

Otherwise, don't do it. The other mother will pay but she will think you are very tight.

Yes, and in the spirit of the day does your bottom squeak the national anthem?

Tight and embarrassing that you think this way in any case. How stingy of you.

Yes, you're being tight. Don't embarrass your daughter, please.

Would you pay the £20 so your own dd can do it if her friend's mum was going along?

Hahahaha I can't get over the replies to this. I'd pay your full 20 quid and buy you a bottle for the trouble.

Yes being a bit tight in this situation.
Hopefully the other Mum will reciprocate by taking your daughter to the cinema or similar treat ?

Good Luck with it by the way !
Will it wreck your shoes ?

Thanks Basicbrown but I think you are in the minority. I still feel put out at having to pay £30 but hey ho.

And yes hadn't even thought about my poor trainers 😢 . They are new as well, Nike bright orange running ones. I'm a runner so fit enough for it, just don't want to really do it if I had the choice. Guess they will be trashed? I chucked my old trainers so don't even have them to wear.

And I do seem to be the parent that gets roped in all the time. Got to take DD and a different friend to see a Youtubers show later in the year as under 16s need an adult and the other mother 'couldn't go'. Not my cup of tea at all but again that's cost me DDs ticket (fair enough) plus a ticket for me, plus cost of train to get there. I'll have to take my kindle 😀.