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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nothing to do with EU - am I a tight arse?

50 replies

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 24/06/2016 23:33

So DD (14) asks if her and another friend same age can do one of those Pretty Muddy 5k things in a few weeks time. No problem - £10 each child.

She then says they need an adult to go round with them as they are under 16. Other girls mum cannot take them as she is away that weekend. So I thought, ok, I will do it, as DD really wants to go.

The cost for me though is £20, meaning I'm spending £30 for me and DD, the other girl is spending £10. I am not arsed about doing it and am only going for DD.

So I tell DD that I will take her and friend around the course if we pay £20 total and her friend pays her tenner plus pays me £10 for half my admission.

DD says this isn't fair on her friend. I think I'm bring perfectly reasonable as her friend can't do it without me being there. Would you be put out at being asked to pay half of my cost so your child could participate?

DD won't even suggest this to her mate so we are at a stalemate.

Am I being a tight arse?

OP posts:
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 25/06/2016 07:13

Hey just thought how apt my username is for this thread 😀

OP posts:
millymollymomoooo · 25/06/2016 07:19

Tight and a you sound seriously selfish. Why bother having kids if you can't be bothered paying/doing stuff for them.

amy85 · 25/06/2016 07:23

Yes you are

Sootica · 25/06/2016 07:23

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sootica · 25/06/2016 07:24

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Sootica · 25/06/2016 07:24

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PotteringAlong · 25/06/2016 07:35

I don't think you are tight, I think it's the principle of it. I'd ask for the money

Busbikebuswalk · 25/06/2016 07:38

Yes, it's a bit tight. Yes, it will wreck your shoes. Buy some cheap runners for the day. I'm doing the very same 5k today with workmates. Running isn't my thing but I thought it would be a laugh. I think I've underestimated the course.

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 25/06/2016 07:47

'Seriously selfish', really Millymolly? Yes my poor children Hmm

OP posts:
IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 25/06/2016 07:48

Good luck with it today Busbike - let me know just how trashed your trainers get!

OP posts:
Tinseleverywhere · 25/06/2016 07:49

I agree you should pay if you can afford it as it is for a good cause and its something really good that your dd wants to do, keeping fit and raising money for a charity both things you want to encourage your teenagers to do. Fussing about the cost and embarrassing her in front of her friend is going to put her off doing something worthwhile.

Afreshstartplease · 25/06/2016 07:52

Tight as cramp

19lottie82 · 25/06/2016 07:53

Wow. TBH I don't think it would even cross my mind not to pay for myself, my DD and her friend.

Mega tight. Please don't ask. Your poor DD will be mortified for life.

If you can't afford it then you have to just say no I'm afraid. But asking your DDs BF' parents to chip in for your ticket? That's just mega cringe worthy.

branofthemist · 25/06/2016 08:00

I think it's tight.

I wouldn't dream of asking the other mum to pay half.

If I choose to do something for my Dd , I pay.

NinaSimoneful · 25/06/2016 11:25

YABT I'm afraid. You'd have to pay the entry fee for your DD so taking her friend isn't costing you extra there. So I think your reason for asking for the money is moot.

DeathStare · 25/06/2016 12:11

Yes. I think you're being tight. But I don't think the money is really the issue. I think you feel put out at having to do something you really don't want to do just because your DD and her friend want to do it. And I think that is completely understandable. In this context I think you have displaced your pissed off-ness onto the money.

Personally I'd forget the money issue and just make it clear to your DD that this time you will take one for the team and accompany them on the run, but that next time the situation comes up where they need an accompanying adult that you expect another parent to do it (unless it's something you actually want to do)

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 25/06/2016 20:52

Deathstare - I think you have hit the nail on the head there.

Anyway, I have booked me and the girls in and have payed the £30. So thanks folks for preventing me from making a tight arsed tit of myself Grin

OP posts:
whois · 25/06/2016 21:16

Tight and a you sound seriously selfish. Why bother having kids if you can't be bothered paying/doing stuff for them

How nasty.

You don't have to do everything your children want to do all the time you know!

What about the dads??

Busbikebuswalk · 25/06/2016 22:36

Trainers trashed but it was ace. Pay the money and go have fun! Take a change of clothes and towels with you.

IDoAllMyOwnStunts · 25/06/2016 22:48

All payed for Busbike - glad you had fun!

OP posts:
WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 25/06/2016 22:49

Yes pretty tight unless you really can't afford it

Don't use your good trainers, they will be trashed! But some cheap ones specially and either scrape and hose them and use for muddy dog walking or bin them

JoJoSM2 · 25/06/2016 23:01

If you're bothered, speak to the mum of the friend and explain the situation. You could even suggest that you could chip in £10 towards her ticket if she takes them. If she's not keen, then she might return the offer. I wouldn't try to get your daughter to pass on the message/discuss it as you run the risk that it'll come across all wrong.

JoJoSM2 · 25/06/2016 23:02

Sorry, I see it's all sorted ;)

rookiemere · 25/06/2016 23:07

In principal YANBU.

It's something I would think too - but then I'm tight as well so you might be advised not to listen to me and I'm glad you've paid the amount.

Foslady · 26/06/2016 00:08

I can see where you are coming from - especially if you're not fussed about it.......but seeing as it's being done for a good cause, smile and bask in the glow that you are supporting the battle against cancer, having a bonding day with your dd and her friend and you have ensured that two others can take part and raise funds and being an all round nice person.

And you'll be exercising whilst the other mum is probably eating cake!!!!!

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